25 Things Fat People Shouldn't Do is an unabashed middle finger to the preposterous idea that any human who weighs more than the status quo does not deserve to live a full and well rounded (ahem) life. The list of 25 is composed word for word from direct lists of sheer assholery found on the internet. These range from the absurd to the profoundly shameful, and I will be disproving this offensive notion with style. Feel free to join in on the fun, and if you do, link at the bottom so I can share. May the Chub Club live long and prosper!
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The List:
Wear shirts with glitter
Ride a scooter
Shimmy
Jump in an elevator
Be straight
Roll down a hill
Run
Sit on anything plastic
Live.
That's bullshit that fat people aren't "allowed" to shimmy. Shimmying is fun! Shimmy for all!!
ReplyDeleteEVERYONE SHIMMY!
DeleteI would even say that fat people shimmy better, because guess what: we have tits. Shimmy away!
DeleteThe shimmy is an essential part of bellydancing, which actually looks sexier when you've got something to shimmy with.
DeleteOddly enough, my mom taught me to shimmy when I was really young, and I always said I didn't like to shimmy because my boobs weren't big enough. Well, they certainly are now, and I still shimmy.
DeleteHow dumb it is to say "Fat people are not allowed to run"?
ReplyDeleteBy the way: you're awesome. Fuck yeah. World really needs more people like you!
The whole concept of telling someone else what they can or cannot do it totally fucked. To the core:)
DeleteWould you mind if I copied this list and idea and did it on my blog too. I may have pictures of some of these things...
ReplyDeleteStephanie
www.bassability.blogspot.com
PLEASE DO! Link it back to me each time and we'll flip off the world together!!!!
Deletemean people really suck. there should be a list for them-- "things mean people shouldn't do." #1) post rules for other people on the internet.
ReplyDeletei always try to remind myself that people are often mean because they hate themselves and don't know how to fix it, which is a bit sad. i look forward to reading more as you respond to this list.
cheers
I was writing my reply and then stopped and read yours and, well, you said everything that was floating around in my head. It makes me sad that people hate others and themselves...
DeleteIt really is. It's weird, because I totally understand where they are coming from... and I feel empathy for them most of the time. Y'know? They are just a victim of their circumstances and that makes me sad. Usually its the fact that adults hinder children's growth because of their own bad decisions. SO not fair.
DeleteOn the flip side, I have no problem holding grown ass adults responsible for their actions. You are a fucking adult, and I'm really sorry so and so hated you and they were addicted to whatever and this happened and that happened etc... but that does NOT give you the right to hurt others. Ever. Buck up asshole, and change your life. Only you can do it for yourself.
Ya feel me?
These are all absolutely appalling!!! I can't believe it. So rude and ignorant.
ReplyDeleteYou are beautiful and can do whatever you want!! =) Screw those people!!!
WORD!
Deletei genuinely don't even understand this. Like that list is awful. What is wrong with people?
ReplyDeleteThose aren't even things I would ever consider wrong for a fat (me) person to do.
Things like drive and be straight and ride a bike and go to the movies. Like honestly. How does that have any correlation to fat people. I would understand (yet still be outraged offended and royally pissed off) if the list said things only like wearing tight clothing, eating large take out food meals, wearing a bikini and going to the beach, and that's all I can think of because those are the only things I tend to feel self conscious about.
BUT SERIOUSLY. I generally don't understand why people would write drive. How does that even make sense? Or go to the movies? It's a freaking dark cinema in which we are there to watch a movie. How how how would you even notice me if you were even watching the movie which fyi is the reason why you bought the ticket you stupid moron.
And things like ride a bike and run. If you're so repulsed by fat people, then you would obviously think it's crucial for them to lose weight and is exercising not the way to do that. WHERE IS THE LOGIC PEOPLE?!?!?!?
Anyway, I'm done with my rant. You're lovely and a constant inspiration!!
XO Samantha
I am so in for the virtual middle finger to all the haters out there.
ReplyDeleteThank you for, once again, offering a platform for change and acceptance.
~Meg
milesfromordinary.com
I can't whaaaattt??? Watch ME!!! Count me in! I'm fed up with this stupidity and ignorance!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Meg above... thanks Jes for offering a platform for change and acceptance....way, way overdo!
~SimplyyMayra
simplyymayra.com
Ride a scooter? I don't even...although, more inspiration for me to get a scooter to zoom my fat ass around town on.
ReplyDeleteHave literally JUST found your blog and already adore it. Thank you for being you.
This is brilliant! I'm so looking forward to seeing your posts!
ReplyDeleteI want to ditch work and go to the park now to go on the swings! I used to love going on the swings when I was younger - we'd have competitions to see who could go the highest and part of me wanted to be able to swing right over the top!
ReplyDeleteTo be fair, I don't like sitting on plastic either. I end up sweating like a pig and leaving an ass print on it when I get up. lol It's embarrassing really. Great list though. thanks for posting. I'm sick of the fat phobia in this world, esp. in the USA and how women are made to feel guilty about eating.
ReplyDeletei hate sweaty asses in general:) thanks for commenting... i love it when men read my blog! I had no idea:)
DeleteSome of these things are absolutely ridiculous. Drive? Eat in public? Be straight? Where do people get these ideas from? I definitely want to join in on this. It might be slow going, and I may not cross everything off the list, but you have my support.
ReplyDeleteno freakin' way! people are seriously insane... i'm surprised "breathe" didn't make onto that list w/ everything on there but i absolutely love your positive outlook in poking fun at it! and i absolutely love your painting of yourself, you are beautiful and made a beautiful piece of art!!
ReplyDeletehttp://dusanabotswana.com/
I totally want to jump on board and some of these! I'm not vastly overweight, but I have been called fatass more times than I count in my young life.
ReplyDeleteI think its interesting that Marilyn Monroe was a size 12/14, which is usually the upper limit on clothing "normal" sizes, although its also the overall "average " healthy size of women's (americans? ) bodies. anyway, i totally agree with your list- and applaud your efforts to normalize all shapes and sizes, but i need to relate that I was extremely uncomfortable on a recent cross country flight when I had to try to squeeze into just one of the two seats we paid for with my 8 year old because the man next to us was literally taking up more than half of the seat that was supposed to be mine, and i wasnt feeling snuggly with this sweaty stranger dude. I felt totally trapped - as they had re-routed us and there were no extra seats on the plane to move him or us to, and if I had complained I felt like it would have made this giant fella "feel bad" . I probably wont fly again anytime soon because of this. In this case i do think that extremely overweight people ought to have to purchase an additional seat.
ReplyDeleteI don't think anyone likes being crowded on an already claustrophobic flight. Thats a really tricky situation because if you take fatphobia away, you're still stuck with the logistics of space. It would be interesting to know what the median size is that all airplane seats are made for. As people become more and more overweight, should they increase it? Or should they be forced to buy two? But how do you determine who should buy two? Not everyone is going to want to pay double. So do you do it based on weight? But not every one is proportional... so tall people and short people of the same weight would take up a different amount of horizontal space... its tricky.
DeleteI'm flying to utah on a week or so and I am size 18 and considered "obese". I am certainly not getting two seats, and I am taking pictures to prove it. I don't need two seats, so how would they work THAT? How do you not make it a punishment, but rather a practicality? Hard questions.
If I were you, I would have politely asked to have been moved so I could enjoy my flight, and then still kept my faith in flying:)
I'm someone who tends to "smush" myself up in tight situation, crowded buses, flights, whatever it maybe. But on the flip side, I've sat next to thin people who have no problem pushing their plane seat all the way back where they are literally laying on my legs, or that stretch their legs side ways to full capacity and make me uncomfortable all while I'm busy sitting in an uncomfortable position in an attempt to NOT make them uncomfortable. The whole charging for two seats is just another money making scam for the airlines. I recently read an article by The Economist that was saying that the cost of seats should be based upon weight, a person that weighs 160 would be charged half of what some weighing 260. It's utterly ridiculous even if you are not talking about those who are considered obese, since people are clearly going to weigh different amounts just based upon gender, height, and body shape.
Deletehttp://cherizangelandstyleluvin.blogspot.com/
So, my boyfriend made a suggestion. Plane flights are based on mass and weight. They calculate the weight of the passengers and their bags, and then use that to calculate fuel and space needs.
DeleteWould you be more willing to pay by the pound? A 100lb person would pay half the price a 200lb person would, but it isn't based on some ambiguous "median".
I am blessed to be both fat AND tall. The person who leans back in the seat in front of me has about negative one half inch of space before painfully crushing my knees. I try to book my seat strategically (I go for a window seat in a row where the aisle seat is already booked, and pray that the middle seat stays empty), get on the plane near the front of the general boarding line so I can do my ridiculous breath-holding-out seatbelt buckling dance before my neighbours arrive, and I manage not to spill past the armrest. Barely. I would object to weight-based airfares because, well, at 350lbs, it would probably be cheaper for me to pay for (and then not bother to use) an additional seat. Also, a weight-based airfare would rightly include the wieght of one's luggage, allowing the heavier individuals to compensate by packing light. By the same token, my 6'6.5" little brother (weighing 240lbs, mostly skin and bones) is forced to either take a seat in the emergency exit row or pay extra to sit in first class if he doesn't want his kneecaps forcibly crushed by the mere existance of the seat in front of him. I bet you'd be hearing a lot of complaints from the silently marginalized tall people of the world if weight-based airfares became a reality.
DeleteOMG - the "Chub Club". Love it! I'm there with you, sister! Thanks for sharing this ridiculously jacked-up list - I'll be attempting several of these very soon! :)
ReplyDeleteYour entire blog is fantastic! I'm new and am loving every minute I spend on your blog. This list reminds me of an experience I had the other day at work. I have a new job so I'm still getting comfortable with all the staff etc (I work as a photographer/media person for Deaf Children's Society of BC which has a preschool program for deaf children - it's amazing and I love everything about the job.... other than certain things that certain staff people say). I've kinda been living in an anti-oppressive & fat positive queer bubble for over a year, being entirely self employed and this is my first job with other deaf people, meaning - I can understand everything everyone is talking about for once.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, long story short, it has been a mixed blessing - being able to understand everything my co-workers are saying. The things people talk about just really get to me and I feel unsafe bringing up how these things are fucked up. Partly because I'm new, and it's always at the most inappropriate time, such as in front of the kids! The other day during lunch break with the kids & teachers, one of the teachers pointed out that an teacher assistant from a different class was wearing stripes. I didn't understand why she was bringing it up. I asked if it was because she was an ASL interpreter (didn't know who she was - and interpreters are not supposed to wear distracting clothes as it can be hard on the student's eyes after a while) and she responded that no, it's because she's fat. Fat people can't wear stripes. It makes them look bigger! She said it in a really mean way and I just was dumbstruck (and really fucking angry). I also didn't know how to respond and then lunch was over and we had to go back to class.
I just don't understand why people feel as if they have the right to decide what people should wear. It's just so incredibly ridiculous and really fucking rude. Why the hell does she even care? It has nothing to do with her. ALSO, she's a preschool teacher, she should be a role model and not teaching the kids to be bullies! Sigh. I really have to think about how to quickly react to situations like that and also maybe suggest a meeting later on to discuss these things because it's just so wrong.
Sorry for the rant! It just has been really bugging me. So glad to find your blog, it's great. Definitely following. :)
Hey Jes!
ReplyDeleteFirst let me say that I LOVE your blog! I will definitely be exploring it in much further detail.
Secondly, I have started a list of my own at Big Girls Won't, and have linked back to yours!
http://biggirlswont.wordpress.com
Feel free to stop by- I would love to swap notes with you sometime (and recipes!)
Thanks!
D.
Haha, #8 is actually really something I can't do, but I can be queer & fat instead. And in addition to that I can (#26) give zero fucks about some stupid lists/opinions from bigoted, narrow minded people. Done!
ReplyDeleteI've got the plastic chair soon!
ReplyDeleteWearing glitter AND Animal print . . . Such a rebel!
ReplyDeleteI think you can cross off live as a job well done; even if we just judge by your photos from this list you are clearly living life to the fullest. Also I've always been told that 'girls like me' shouldn't wear red, particularly in photographs. 90% of my ironic t-shirts? The brightest, most obnoxious shades of red I could find. My own subtle finger to the world. Also my fav shirts to wear lol
ReplyDeleteLOL! Who wrote this! Love the word "assholery" gonna use that in the future! Just found your site, I am loving it! I am a size 14-16, so flipping tired of feeling like a failure because of what everyone else thinks a woman should look like! You have lit a new fire under me! And I am already a pyro, so this is gonna catch on quick! THANK YOU!!!!
ReplyDeleteI can't believe I have only just found this blog, so forgive me for being super late, but your blog is fucking fabulous. Thank you for putting out there everything that I struggle with every day and doing it in such style. You inspire me to love my awesome size 14 body. Seriously, thank you.
ReplyDeleteAlso, would like to mention that I just signed up for a 5K run. And I've rolled down many a hill...and survived. Cross off two!!
Surprisingly enough, even with my un-even boobs and tummy flab, I look drop-dead-gorgeous in a bikini. I do not like wearing them, though, and that has nothing to do with my size, just more my personal sense of style.
ReplyDeleteA couple of summers ago, I wore a magenta and purple bikini to the river and got invited to a near-by barbecue that hosted barbies and ken-dolls. Those skinny girls sat there and talked with me, ate with me, and even complimented me on my bad-assery. None of them were wearing bikinis and they were all tiny little things. My boyfriend at the time was so jealous that all these chiseled men wanted a piece of me. Heh. It was a pretty damn good day.
That's out of the way.
What the blue fuck?! I want to say that I cannot believe that something like this list exists, but this IS the internet. What the hell, people. Come on. Fat people in America far out-number the skinny people at this point. Get the fuck over it.
Well, I'm not going to jump in an elevator, no way, because that's just too scary and will make me throw up. I hate elevators. Otherwise I'm having fun reading this blog.
ReplyDeleteOk glitter is appropriate in some cases...but I recently ranted about it. http://born2lbfat.com/?p=382
ReplyDeleteI hope you don't mind, but I am reposting this list on my blog, and crossing as many things off the list as I can! I won't be driving anytime soon, but that has nothing to do with size, and as for the bikini, I really doubt that will happen either. Not quite THAT brave yet. Someday, maybe even soon...
ReplyDeleteLove this! BTW, call me Mariah (though I don't want to sign in to my Google account bcz reasons).
ReplyDeleteThis blog post inspired me all to bits! I reposted this to my 43 Things (goal-site) account, with some personal ranting and a few changes.
"Drive" became "Ride in a shopping cart".
"Ride a scooter" is now "Ride a skateboard".
"Roll down a hill" is now "climb a tree".
"Run" is now "Do gymnastics". (like tumbling, cartwheel, handstand)
"Wear a bikini" is now "Wear a miniskirt".
"Wear a mumu" is now "Wear a long, floaty skirt, with a flower in my hair"
"Wear an ironic T-shirt" is now "Wear an ironic slogan".
"Go to the movies" is now "Get a cute-guy date for the movies".
"Go to bars" is now "Dress blatantly sexy and flirt with a guy".
"Fly in an airplane" is now "Ride on a carnival ride".
"Jump in an elevator" is now "Walk in circles with eyes closed while elevator is moving". Ever tried it? It's fun.
All the other stuff I've already done. Often still do on a daily basis. Great list, though! It's good to push back against the boundaries other people want us to limit ourselves inside.
This list is both ridiculously awful (because do people really say these things??) and fantastic (because yay for you for doing them after some weirdos said you shouldn't.)
ReplyDeleteBUT.... I would just like to say, DON'T JUMP IN AN ELEVATOR! My friend and I broke one once, no joke. And neither of us is fat, and we didn't even land at the same time. We were stuck for an hour and a half until they could get us out, and it was really, really hot in there. "Don't jump in an elevator" should be on the list "Things nobody should do, ever. Especially if you're claustrophobic. (And if you're not already claustrophobic, you might be after getting stuck in an elevator.)"