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25 Things Fat People Shouldn't Do is an unabashed middle finger to the preposterous idea that any human who weighs more than the status quo does not deserve to live a full and well rounded (ahem) life. The list of 25 is composed word for word from direct lists of sheer assholery found on the internet. These range from the absurd to the profoundly shameful, and I will be disproving this offensive notion with style. Feel free to join in on the fun, and if you do, link at the bottom so I can share. May the Chub Club live long and prosper!
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How is THIS for the last post of 2012? FOUR "Do Not's" from the asinine "25 Things Fat People Shouldn't Do". God, I'm such an oldest child. I had a super shitty bad body image day yesterday, and so I needed something to lift my spirits. Fortunately for me, I had the day off from work (Oh heeeeeeey four day weekend!) and so I decided to fill it with shit I love doing. Which weirdly enough can all be found on the list. So I took pictures. And had a hell of a time. And reveled in the adrenaline of social disobedience. It was just what I needed; I'm such a good friend to myself.
I surmise that fat people shouldn't sit in a booth because they would get stuck. And then someone would have to send the waiter into the kitchen to grab the container of clarified butter. And then all the staff would have to douse said fat person with clarified butter and pull on all limbs to get them free in a coordinated fashion. Fat person would then be asked to not return.
I have NEVER seen that happen.
Ever.
So whats the big stink about then? Booths are my favorite! In fact, I ask specifically for them on a regular basis. And I have yet to get mildly stuck. And even if I did, I'm not sure why you would care. I love booths and I think this rule is fucking stupid. The end.
Oooooooooooooooh this was a fun one. This morning, I did something I don't usually: I ordered what ever I wanted. When it came out, it was a lot more than I expected but I greeted it with surprise and not shame. And it was delicious. All of it.
I allowed myself to not make the food a competition. I didn't have to eat all of it to prove a point, and I didn't have to leave any to show I had restraint. And THIS is what made it even more fun. I swear to god I giggled a little while dining with myself, taking turns sipping coffee, reading The Times, eating french toast, and highlighting parts of Virgie Tovar's book.
Have you heard of Virgie Tovar? She's kind of changed my life. This book is a brilliant compilation from fat, fierce, and fabulous women telling their story about how they learned to love themselves. Everyone should own it. Everyone.
I loved Les Misérables. My poor humanist heart broke over the story line, but the movie itself is just... stunning. Anne Hathaway was so powerful. Good god I cried, no secrets here. I totally cried.
And I have no idea why fat people aren't allowed to go to the movies. My fat didn't eat anyone in the theater, as far as I know.
I purposefully wore a mini dress that probably shows my ass more than I realize, but no regrets. I love short little things, y'know? OH, and guess how I got there?
And now we all know what I look like when I sing along to Train.
Slightly embarrassing.
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Do you want to join in on the fun? I want you to as well! There really are no "size restrictions", anyone can participate. I'm going to start one LARGE link up for all 25 Things together! ANY item from the 25 Things can be added to the link up below, intstead of individually like before. Just use your name and the number chosen in the name area (see below!). Capiche? I'll be "re-posting" this link up each time so if you've linked to any previous posts re-link here... Lets all bash stereotypes together.
Go to the movies; blog about it. Eat in public (and enjoy it!); blog about it. Drive; blog about it. Sit in a booth and blog about it! It a small thing, but it is also saying "I will not live my life by anyone elses rules". And that feels good.
(We've also finished: Cannonball, Wear a Mumu, Make Art, Swing, Wear Animal Print, Fly, Go To Bars, and Be Straight. Join in on any of these as well!)
(We've also finished: Cannonball, Wear a Mumu, Make Art, Swing, Wear Animal Print, Fly, Go To Bars, and Be Straight. Join in on any of these as well!)
Love these posts. Running off to Amazon to check out that book!
ReplyDeleteI want to put a whole thing together of fat positive books to own! They are transformative for me.
DeleteLove the photo for #12! Happy New Year!
ReplyDeleteIt made some people cringe... but I'm glad;)
Deletexoxoxox
Yay! We're back! I love these posts soooo much. I'm off out for a meal on Thursday so hopefully I can get a booth and hit two birds with one stone. I have a cinema giftcard to use up too. Unfortunately, I can't actually drive so I might have to adapt that to "get the bus".
ReplyDeleteBecky
xx
I'm really loving the kill several birds with one stone posts! I knocked out four in one go! I can't wait to read yours.
DeleteI just bought Virgie's book and the Unapologetic Fat Girl's Guide to Fitness with the iTunes gift card my slightly-fat-shaming mother got me for Christmas. I basically didn't sleep before work on Monday because I was too busy reading these.
ReplyDeleteSierra, THANK YOU for telling me about the latter book! I've been wanting something like that for a while and even more so after reading the essay in Tovar's about the fatty handshakes at the gym. :)
Deletexoxo, forever.
You are driving and your eyes are closed. CLOSED I TELLS YOU! Jeez I panic when I sneeze while driving ;D
ReplyDeleteLoved this post, and Happy New Year Jes! I still can't believe how freaking hot you look with your blonde hair. Check you out, miss hotty mc hot pants. And I seriously need to buy Hot & Heavy. I've had it open in a tab for ages now.
Alexandria x
I know I know... don't worry, i was safe while singing and driving... and taking a picture. Promise.
DeleteAnd thank you and YOU SHOULD. Its fantastic.
OMG! I just got this book today and only a paragraph in and I'm in love! I can't wait to read this book tonight!!
ReplyDeleteYou should. I can't put it down.
DeleteI think the most important and awesome thing about this post is how happy you look in all of the pictures! Everyone deserves to do the things they love (especially if they involve eating French toast with some kind of berry syrup-gimme gimme!) and say "EFF IT" to society/the man/the blues on a regular basis. Hope your new year is full of opportunities to do both!
ReplyDeleteIt looks like you had wayyy too much fun - so enjoy your images! Gotta get the book ~
ReplyDeleteLinked in - just for the hellavit it, and added one not on the "list." *grins*
thriftshopcommando.blogspot.com
you go girl who are they to tell ANYONE WHAT TO DO AND WHAT NOT TO DO !!!
ReplyDeleteYou are so inspiring! <3
ReplyDeleteRach
xx
Teardops Are Falling
This one cracked me right the heck up..hahaha Loved it.
ReplyDeleteI loved Les Mis too!!! It was so good that I went to the movies twice to see it. Also, I cried. A lot.
ReplyDelete