Thursday, July 2, 2015

I WEAR WHAT I WANT: MY 3 FAVORITE ("FUCK OFF BEAUTY STANDARDS!") TOPS


I've accumulated a several amazing tops recently that scream FUCK OFF BEAUTY STANDARDS! and they're just too good to not share.



Riots Not Diets tank top: I love a good crop top, but I also love the length on this shirt. It's comfortable, giant, and awesome enough for an older man to exclaim "EXACTLY!" when I walked by him the other night. The shorts are ALSO comfy! They're Jeggings that SWAK sent me last year and I had them made into shorts for $10 by a local tailor. Best idea ever. Sandals are from here, and they're my favorite of the summer. Not pictured in sandal pic: the epic backs that have "leather mesh". Oh, AND they're on sale for  $21. Yep. Schmexxxy.




Diet Industry Drop Out crop top: SHAWNA THANK YOU FOR MAKING THIS SHIRT. I think I gasped when I saw it online (it goes up to 5x) and immediately purchased it without thinking twice. I chopped the neckline and sleeves as I often do and it's definitely a summer staple. The skirt is an old Target find (and I cant find another anywhere- sorry!) and I simply LOVE these feminine ankle strap flats!




I <3 Pizza/Fries/Donut tank top: A few years ago I wouldn't have worn this anywhere; I wasn't brazen enough. It's a fascinating thing: if a straight sized gal wears such a shirt it's considered cute and quirky. But a fat lady? Disgusting and shameful and dear god fat women just should NOT. Girl, whenever someone tells me I shouldn't wear something... I'm gonna fuckin' wear it. It's a tad shorter than expected, but it challenges me to stop giving such a fuck about my midriff which is a gift in and of itself. I also love the side bra/cleavage reveal. Oh, and it's also on sale. LUCKY DAYZ.


And remember the post about fat girl shorts? I ordered these and love them even more than the last ones! They're similar fabric but shorter and more suited to my body shape. JUST LOOK HOW SMOOTH THEY ARE. These kick-ass shorts would fit a size 18/20 and smaller, and I heard great things about the last pair so I'm confident in recommending them. And those shoes are sadly a thrift find, but you can try these!

Do you have any fuck off shirts you love to wear? Leave a picture or link below and I'll check them out! And, if I'm gonna be honest... I'll probably order them. Fuck Off shirts are my favorite kind.

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

ADVERTISE ON THE MILITANT BAKER IN JULY!

(The Virgster and I at Fractured Donuts being all cute and shit... just for you!)

I'm terrible at reminding you of this, but I'll make up for it by typing like I mean it in all caps: YOU CAN ADVERTISE ON THE MILITANT BAKER AND IT'S AWESOME!

Between you and me, July is gonna be a good month. After a severe case of writing burnout (from finishing that goddamn book- which BTW the audio version is now available!), I finally have some creative juices flowing again. Yes, I'm just as stoked as you are.


There are a few reasons why you're gonna wanna advertise.
#1: Your ads support the time I invest in the blog, so fuckin' a- thanks for your support! 
#2: The Militant Baker (while it varies) receives on average, around half a million hits a month. That's a bunch. 
#3: Passionfruit Ads lets you see how many times your ad is viewed/clicked so you can keep track of your biz. 
 #4: Because you’ll be part of TMB sidebar team. We're a cool bunch and we like beer and dirty jokes. Come join us.

OH. AND #5: Because there's a discount available this month only! Use the code: JULY15 for an easy 15% off any size your heart desires.


There are several different types of ads, all of which can be viewed here. (If you cant find it, click this instead.) Choose the size you'd like to, hit "add to cart", then "proceed to checkout". From there it will prompt you for the rest. Enter your info, upload your ad image (if you need one I’ll make it!) and pay for the spot using that special promo code! Your ad will go up right after approval and stay up for 30 days no matter when you purchase it. It’s like magic.

Additionally: There is now a giveaway option. Get on it!

I love you all. 
SWEATY KISSES FROM ARIZONA.

P.S. My dress is from Target and yes it's still available <3

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

FAT PALS: CHUB CLUB LOVE WHEREVER YOU ARE


A kajillion of you have asked if I know the best way to connect with plus size babes where you live. And honestly, unless you live in Tucson, I have no idea.

BUT. FEAR NOT.

Rachele from Rad Fat Vegan has created the solution! Fat Pals.

CHECK IT:
"Connect with other fat identified folks if you feel overwhelmed by negativity or need a friend. Send and receive positive messages, artwork, encouragement, etc. Take part in Fat Pals girl gang activities and action. Complete the below survey and Rachele will match you with a Fat Pal! You may also receive messages or mail from Rachele Cateyes. Please be safe and do not share anything that would put you in danger. Rachele will not disclose your address to your Fat Pal unless it is a PO box. PO boxes are encouraged but if you decide to share your address with your Fat Pal yourself, that is up to you. You may sign up as much as you would like, just make sure you send at least one thing to each Fat Pal you are assigned. No sexism, racism, ableism, homophobia, fatphobia, transphobia, diet talk or general hatefulness allowed. All gender identities and sizes welcome. Share your positive messages! #fatpals"

How fucking amazing is that?


Fat Pals Girl Gang Mission
- Bomb the blogs of fat girls that need it with encouraging comments.
- Attack our fat pals with letters, art and chub love.
- Fight negativity with comradery.
- Take our bad assery into the real world and out from behind our screens.


If you'd like to sign up, here's the link! Happy pal-ing!

Friday, June 26, 2015

FIERCE VISIBLE BELLY OUTLINES FTW!


Oh, the fierce and flabulous Visible Belly Outline.

Also called the VBO, (according to this fantastic Tumblr) the definition is:
Visible Belly Outline; that protruding shape that pushes from under your clothes when they are a certain material or tightness. It comes it different sizes and shapes: some are round, some are square, some are perky and some sag, some are smooth, some are lumpy.
The Tumblr then says:
"Let’s make our bellies visible instead of trying to hide them and show everyone how fabulous of an accessory a belly can be!"
WHAT A FUCKING IDEA! You mean... I don't have to hide my belly? Like, I can even accessorize it and flaunt it with reckless abandon? I'm SO IN.

Guys, I love spandex. NOT SPANX. SPANDEX. I love the way it looks. I love the way it feels. I love the way it hugs my fat body like it just doesn't wanna let go. And for the longest time I never let myself wear it because: the horror!!!

My belly is the last part of me I'm learning to love and it's not always easy. I know that is partially because I never see fat bellies positively represented... well, anywhere. We are all so easily conditioned and the lack of visible and sexy VBOs (plus the abundance of super flat sexy torsos in every ad ever) has us convinced that a belly outline isn't allowed to make an appearance in our world. And, like every other body rule, this is bullshit.

SO HERE. I HAVE COMPILED 44 AMAZING VBOS FOR YOU TO ADMIRE:





Did you look closely at them all? Did you notice the sexy shapes? The smiles? The middle fingers? The bad-assery radiating off these gorgeous humans? Good.

Now go back to the top and look again.

If you did this twice, you're already starting to retrain your brain and normalize the diversity of shapes we have in our world. Good job! Follow every body positive Tumblr you can get your hands on and continue this practice. It will make a difference.

Now, know that after you look at these, you don't have to run out and by a bodycon dress or skintight pencil skirt. And you definitely don't have to immediately start loving your belly. But what I DO want you to do is entertain the idea that all of these people are amazing. Fierce. Fucking HOT. And they're rocking something our world tells us we can't.

Think about that. 'Cause you can do it too. I'm starting TODAY. You with me?

All images are from FuckYeahVBO- click for more!

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

5 THINGS I LOVED ABOUT #BLC15

(Thanks Lisa Roden for the images!)
We've all been recovering from that exhausting weekend, but I wanted to take a moment and acknowledge how hard the volunteer team worked and how amazing the event was. Even though it was supposed to be a small regional/local event, we sold out and had almost as many attendees we did last year. People came from all over the world to join us and I'm honored. Five things I loved about this year:1.) Diversity was far more present than last year. BLC14 wasn't what it could have been; it was female focused and while there was some variety and inclusion in the workshops, there could have been so much more. It was great to create the space for such an event and this year couldn't have happened with out it... but we wanted more. I loved the panels, lectures, and emcees we had this year. I loved having teens there. I loved the energy that each person brought. There were more shapes, sizes, sexes, shades, genders, and ages than before and this progress was wonderful.


2.) I loved the ticket price. While it was a really no frills event, it was still incredible and the team somehow was able to make it happen with tickets that were $25 and teens were free. They also were able to offer free admission for anyone who's budget didn't allow the fee. I can't tell you how expensive (and exhausting) these events are and I'm amazed and appreciative that the volunteer group managed to make this happen.



3.) It happened. There was a huge learning curve this year and several plans didn't pan out as expected. And while I hear this is normal, it was still difficult. I stepped back to write a book and trusted the team to create the event. THEY DID and THEY DID IT IN FIVE MONTHS. Hot damn.



4.) There was a dance party at the end. It was a really unconventional way to close the conference, but Kristen Nelson led everyone in a series of movements to "Flawless." Everyone was encouraged to participate at their comfort level and it was wonderful to release the energy accumulated throughout the day.



5.) It was imperfect. There is still a long way to go. I hope to see more diversity next year, more inclusion, more opportunities for attendees to connect and the creation of a more supportive environment that allows everyone to process what they've learned. There are so many opportunities for growth next year and I can't wait to see what the team comes up with.



I love the social media team for collecting experiences. Well done!

See you next year?

Monday, June 15, 2015

BODY AS THE SKY // BY LYDIA HAVENS


I wish you could have heard Lydia perform this. Heard the cracks in her voice. The power in the breaks of silence. I wish you could have seen the tears in the audience's eyes. But not everyone can attend Words on the Avenue, so I asked her to share her poem here. 

This is for every person who's ever experienced a sigh, glance, or conversation that asked if you've always been "like this."
--------------------


When I see photos other people take of me,
I can’t help but feel like I am looking at myself
from above. I can’t help but think, “That is not
my body.” Those are not my overflowing thighs.
Those are not my knees, as wide as a colorless horizon.
That is certainly not my stomach, unraveling over
the waistline of a pair of shorts.

A doctor I didn’t know very well once asked me if I’d always
been “like this”. I wanted to tell her that bodies are such
strange things. I wanted to tell her it amazes me that when
I first began taking up space, I only weighed six pounds
and fourteen ounces. It amazes me that swallowing
a five milligram pill once a day for two months at
age fourteen made me “like this”. I wanted to tell her
that I was not always “like this”.

Once, I was one of the smallest kids in my class. Once,
my metabolism was faster than the Winter Solstice. I didn’t
always overflow and unravel. I could fit into the role
of Conventionally Beautiful without breaking the zipper.
I was not always “like this”. And when I feel like I need to,
I compare my body to the sky because it is one of the few parts
of nature I can relate to. The sky is fat, she wears the Universe
as though it’s a Size 16 gown, a Size 18, a Size 20 or 22.
The sky does not determine her worth by a number. The sky
is proud of herself, no matter what.

When I look back, I wonder if I should have told the doctor
that maybe I am disconnecting from the reality of who I am,
but at least I am closer to happiness than I’ve ever been.
I should’ve told her, fat is not a bad word, and I can’t think
of myself as overflowing anymore. I’m not a kitchen sink.
I’m not a small town in the middle of a tropical storm. I am
a body. I am somebody. I am somebody looking at herself
from the ground-level, and loving every inch of it. I am
a happy body. And this: this is my body.

Thursday, June 11, 2015

ROUGH DAY? HERE, HAVE SOME HILARIOUS CAT THINGS


I was online window shopping yesterday (here of course) to beat a bummerface day and I found myself cackling so loud at the hilarious cat paraphernalia that was available that my own kitties didn't feel safe being in the same room as me. It was that entertaining.

SO let me raise a metaphorical glass to every person out there that inspires companies to make this ridiculously awesome shit and those that apparently buy it so it stays relevant and on the shelves. Y'all are my personal heroes and you deserve a designated holiday. Let's be BFFs, okay? And I say that knowing that many of us already are. I love all you fellow weirdos.

Here's a short list of the cat related items I found that inspired one of three reactions: "WTF?", OMG!" and "MEPLZKTHX":



Crafting With Cat Hair book: My cat hair is currently decorating my ceiling fans, but when it's done I'll totally buy this book.
Cosmo Cat Mug: Why the fuck wouldn't you own this?
Wine Stopper: One of my cats is a boozer and already tries this with very messy outcomes. This stopper seems like a far more effective way to save wine.



Cat Paw DOOR STOPPER: This was where I started to lose my shit while window shopping. The brilliance, I tell you!
Cat Pillow: This makes me really uncomfortable. 
Duvet Cover: It's not weird for people to cover their bed in printed cats when their bed is already covered in real cats.


Cat "Posterior" Magnets: I don't even know.
Custom Cat Portraits: I saw these and melted a little. 
Furry Cat Ear Headband: These are "season appropriate" in case you were wondering if summer was an good time to don 'em.


 Cat Mask: WTF I need this. I NEED THIS, RIGHT?
Dangle Cat Earrings: Yes, you can have kitties stuck in your earlobes.
"Caturday Night" Tee: This is a perfectly acceptable reason to not leave the house.

Hopefully if you're also having a bummerface day, these things will at best: make you laugh at the awesome absurdity available and at worst make you roll your eyes and thank your lucky stars that your life is so much cooler than mine since this is what I'm doing right now. I'm okay with both.

And a word about that shirt: hanging out with your cats instead of humans IS a legitimately wonderful thing to do and if you're wanting a movie/wine/pizza night with your feline besties I have the complete list of supplies for you to make it purrrfect.

Sorry. I had to.

There is "Fat Cat" wine for you AND wine for your cat. Yes, it's a wonderful world we live in and it exists. Campy cat movies I'd recommend include Cat People (1948), The Cat From Outer Space (1978),  Homeward Bound (1993), and That Darn Cat (1965). Wanting a guaranteed hit? The Aristocats or Tom & Jerry of course!

And of course, don't forget the kitty shaped pizzas. Obvs.

Cat people save me from totally chalking off humanity. Hearts to all you kitty lovin' peeps!

Monday, June 8, 2015

THINGS NO ONE WILL TELL FAT GIRLS: THE BOOK


Holy fuck.
Just look at that beautiful cover.

I may or may not have just started tearing up. Damn allergies.
Aaand I just got goosebumps too.. kfine. Maybe I'm just happy.

Here's my official announcement: MY BOOK IS FINISHED, IT'S COMING OUT OCTOBER 27TH AND YOU CAN PRE-ORDER IT NOW!!!!!

I'll also be touring the last week of October/first few weeks in November and I'll most certainly be in NYC, San Francisco, and a few others. (You can sign up for the email list if you want more info on where I'll be!)

I'm just... floored that this book is now an official thing. And I find myself wanting to "prescribe" it to everyone who's ever had a question like: I know about unrealistic beauty standards but I still like wearing lipstick; is that bad? What about the importance of health? What's the difference between pretty and beautiful? Is wanting to be those a negative thing? Is taking copious amounts of selfies narcissistic? Will I ever find love? Can fashion be political? How do I talk to my kids about body positivity? What is a Serious Mental Illness? How do I love my post-pregnancy body? What is "The Beauty Myth"? Why did we start hating our bodies? What do I do when my family body shames me? How does whitewashing contribute to systemic racism? How do I take care of my mental health? What can I do to change the world?

Even if I didn't write this book, I would shamelessly shove it in every persons hand no matter their size because... y'all- this shit is so important and it's time that this info is shared real-talk style. I want you to know that it purposefully isn't an academic text, but rather something conversational that's meant to reach a wide audience that wants to learn about body positivity too. And while I did include critical academic theories- they're broken down simply with curse words interspersed of course. Because that's how I learn best. And maybe you do too.

THING TO KNOW: This isn't my blog in book form. There are a few stories I've already shared online (like exercise and fat girl freak outs, how fat girls find love too, self portraits and why it's important to start loving yourself now etc) because those who don't know me need those in their life too! But honestly, I don't write a lot of what I've learned (and love to talk about) because it takes at least five thousand words to explain them and none of us have that kind of concentration on the internet. Writing this book also forced me to clarify many opinions I hadn't taken the time to do previously and express them in ways I never have before. So this is my handbook. It has pages of resources. All the topics. All together. And it's wonderful. At least, I think so.

ANOTHER THING TO KNOW: this book is chock full of guest essays from prominent body activists. Virgie Tovar, Sonya Renee, Shanna Katz, Jennifer McLellan, Andrew Walen, Bruce Sturgell, Sam Dylan Finch, Chrystal Bougon, and several other awesome humans. Their contributions include topics such as: male fatshion, why we need to say fuck you to diet culture, how to have hot sex, ways to advocate for yourself at the doctor, how to include disability in your activism, trans* masculinity, the exclusion of race, and other critical and relevant topics.

WHO IS THIS FOR? If you're wondering if this book is for you, here's the official list of recommended readers:
"If you are a person who has spent your entire life feeling horrible about your body and you think that self-hatred kinda sucks, this book is for you. If you’re interested in this totally bizarre concept called body love that you keep hearing about on Upworthy and BuzzFeed and you wanna know what it’s all about, this book is for you. 
If you’re intimidated by academic texts but still want to have a conversation about body love, this book is for you. If you feel the need to hold something that says you’re a valuable person (just as you are, right now) and reading websites just doesn’t cut it, this book is for you. If you need a refresher course on why loving your body is not only possible, but critical, this book is for you. 
If you’re a “fat” chick (who might be scared of that word) and is convinced that your body is bad and holding you back from living an amazing life, this book is for you. If you’re looking for a book that might offend your sensitivities at some point and has more italicized and capitalized words than you know what to do with . . . this book is SO for you.
If you are a person with a body who is tired of being shamed and told to shape up, slim down, camouflage, alter against your will, or make apologies for your body . . . THIS BOOK IS FOR YOU."
I'm gonna take a wild guess and assume that this book is probably for you, dear friend. And I'm really excited to share it with ya.


You can pre-order 


You can also follow the book's Facebook page if you want to be kept up to date on it's happenings. You can ALSO join the email list for updates on the release, interviews, and the book tour... which I'm really fucking excited about.

Sonya Renee Taylor told me it's "brilliant." Hanne Blank said it's "punchy" and "wonderful." Linda Bacon said it's "totally awesome." I say it's good enough that I won't die of shame when it's published (you can read about my not-glamorous-at-all writing process here).

So there's that.

Any questions? Leave them below and I'll answer them to the best of my ability!
Sending you all SO much love.

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

SUGGESTIONS FOR YOUR NEXT "HOLY FUCK THIS SUCKS SO HARD" BAD BODY DAY

Photo by Zara Davis
Yesterday fucking sucked.

I'm pretty open about the fact that I often have "bad body days" (and even mentioned it in this article) because I never want you to assume that body activists have it all figured out/never feel the effects of our fucked up society. We do. And we do hard. Sometimes, if we're lucky it's a simple "Aw shit, today is sucky" but other days it's a complicated "I don't think I can ever get out of bed again" kind of feel. Yesterday was the latter.

It was debilitating. I didn't want to look in the mirror. I didn't want to get dressed because what's the point? I didn't want to eat food because it's "only gonna make me fatter." I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that my boyfriend thinks I'm sexy with me no matter how many times he reminded me that I was a "babehammer." I just couldn't shake the hate, even though my brain knew that it was bullshit. I wanted to cry but I was so angry that it was happening, I couldn't. Y'know those days? Of course you do.

So, as I often do when the world becomes too much, I took it to my friends and posted something on my Facebook that went like this:
"Woah. 
Today is a TOTAL can't-move-without-hating-myself-feeling-panicky-WTFisgoingon-theres-no-way-anyone-could-love-this BAD BODY DAY 
Body activists- what do you do when you know all the things and do all the things and STILL have horrible body days? 
Needing some inspiration here."

And,  because I'm surrounded by incredible humans who understand, the thread filled with incredible suggestions from activists of all kinds. I want to share them here because they're as diverse as they come + we all have these days + maybe one will speak to you:


"Honestly, I pout around feeling sorry for myself, beating up on myself because I'm 'supposed' to know better and I'm letting down everyone who looks to me as an example. Then I change my profile pic on FB to something I love and try to remember that I'll feel the way I feel in that pic sometime again. Or I change it to my zombie pic, cuz on that day, no one gave a F whether I was beautiful or not, including me." –Tigress Osborn   
"Feel the feels, know that it is a finite length of time. Don't let the brain weasels win. –Gretchen Kappel 
 
"As someone who has these days on the regular still, I remind myself that my body is but a vehicle for my awesome brain and winning personality. Or I put on my super Mandy cape and fly around for a bit. Fly, Super-Jes, fly!"- Mandy Anderson 
"I always turn on my favorite music as loud as I can without the police being called and get my dance on.....That always puts me back in bad ass chick mode!....A little 90's Hip Hop & R&B does wonders for me! Some Tupac, Biggie, Mary J Blige, Missy Elliott....... Yeah I'm good!" – Kymberly Nichole
 "I take a walk. Simple, right? But being outside forces me to breathe and focus on at least getting where I'm going, if not the beautiful things I can see outdoors if I try. It gives me a break from the self talk for a minute. Then I can try and refocus." –Jennifer Chambers
 
"Put on your favorite swimsuit and take fun selfies. Make a list of all the amazing things your body has done or experienced. Take more selfies." – Rachel Wiley
 
"Honestly I don't know. I have the same days and then I feel guilty because of what I do and knowing I should be figuring it out. I wish I could say I go take a bath and sit in the forest and listen for guidance but um…I just lay on the couch and watch House and avoid mirrors instead. All I can say is that I understand and have been there and the days do go away." – Amanda Trusty 
 
"I spend the day naked, preferably with a partner who loves me. I let it feel terrible. I cry. And I remember that tomorrow is a new day. And above all, I remind myself not to beat myself up over having a bad body image day *and* being a body activist. I remind myself that this is exactly why I do what I do." – Melissa Fabello
 
"Remember everyone feels this way. Then I focus on what I can love about myself in that moment - and then go do something that scares the hell out of me. – Julia Sullivan
 
"I get righteously angry at the misogynistic culture and refuse to give any fucks. I remind myself that I'm tripping and that the walls aren't really melting. I go for a bike ride or do yoga or go to a movie or anything to distract myself from my mind." – Jeniffer Zimmerman
 
"I sit in it. I feel the feelings for what they are. Anger. Sadness. Frustration. All of it. If I can't feel it I can't figure out where it's stemming from. Once I know WHERE it's stemming from I can either decide to stay there forever, do something about WHATEVER it is that's eating at me, OR eat ice cream, cry about it, sit in my bathtub, and realize tomorrow is another day, but today I get to feel sad. I think as body posi activists we think we're never supposed to have bad body days. I certainly feel that way. But it happens. And sometimes ya just gotta lay in bed with the chubby hubby and just let it be. Don't let it swallow you, just let it be." – Adiba Nelson 
 
"No fixin'. Make some space, say no to something. Allow the feels. Remember all of it comes from wisdom, somehow." – Hilary Kinavey
 
"Movement. Gets the endorphins going, gets me out of my head and into the world. Doesn't fix everything but it never fails to help."- Stacy Bias
 
"You love her too. The one who hates her body, love her too." – Sonya Renee Taylor

Blessed be the body love gods for giving me such a stellar support system. 

I ended up having lunch with the boy (and forcing myself to get dressed like a babe), re-reading these tips, texting with my besties, watching Netflix (Elementary, anyone?), having super hot sex, and taking giant garbage bags to my house so I could de-clutter and make space for the new.

I also creeped on body positive babes that reminded me that it is possible to love yourself for yourself. Particularly this sexy mama:



It helped.

And now I'd like to know- what do YOU do when you have a beyond shitty bad body day? Leave your suggestions in the comments below (the FB ones disappear after a while) so whomever finds this later has even more resources to use.

Looking forward to hearing them so I can put them in my pocket for next time. Because, y'know, there will be a next time.

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

DANCING MAN, WHITNEY, TESS, MEGHAN AND OTHER KICK ASS SHIT THAT HAPPENED IN L.A.


I think my life + job looks a lot more magical than it is "in real life." Most of it is spent at home catching up on emails (and failing miserably), designing graphics, writing curriculum, researching, updating presentations, editing my manuscript (this is currently 80% of my life), avoiding the dishes, and talking in an annoying voice to my cats. Don't worry. They love it.

It's pretty great, don't get me wrong; but it's not the "lifestyle of the rich and the famous" (in fact it's kinda the opposite) by any means. Did anyone else listen to that song on repeat 13 years ago? No? Just me?

Cool.

BUT, all of that said, sometimes awesome opportunities come along and they are in fact, magical. Most recently, it was a chance to book a last minute flight to Los Angeles (thanks Whitney!) to attend the Dancing Man party and visit some favorite friends that I rarely get to see. This is the kind of thing that makes me giddy and really grateful.

Now, I wasn't "special" enough (wink wink) to score an invite on my own, but Whitney made me her plus one (sexiest date ever) and I was able to join in on the festivities that centered around anti-bullying, dancing, and honestly- love. Kind of a great place to be.


I had a chance to meet Kelly from Big Curvy LoveDamienne who stood up to Ari Shaffir, and hear Monica Lewinsky talk about standing up to bullying. Can I just say that attending a party where kindness is encouraged is one of the best things ever? Well I'm gonna, and it is.

The unexpected goodnight kiss was, well, unexpected. And loved, obviously.


I also had a chance to spend time with the gorgeous Meghan Tonjes and we bravely walked down Hollywood Blvd during the day. Have you ever tried this? It turns into a weird mashup of Disneyland and Las Vegas when the sun comes up... so thank god we made it out alive. We did find amazing things though: like Amoeba, unicorn wigs and pin-up books that demonstrated how Meghan edits her videos; see the left corner above. No lie.


Brunch with Tess is predictably one of my favorite things. Mmmmm, I just love her and all her realness. Each time we go to Larchmont Bungalow which is simply incredible and I'm definitely okay with continuing this ritual. I got a chance to meet Nick, talk about mental health, activism, fashion, where they do and do not intersect and how life is far from perfect. Y'know, the light topics you usually talk about at brunch. I also realized that while my brow game is strong, my eyeliner game is weak and... needs some fucking work. THANKS A  LOT Tess. P.S. I think the super talented Nick and I may have a future project together... and it has the potential to blow your motherfucking mind. I also took pictures in my underwear.

This. This dress.  I felt like a 50's babe. That's all I gotta say about that.


The last night was spent with Whitney and Tal eating brie + fig hamburgers, shouting excitedly about body love, and swearing in the hot tub. I'll tell you what- that Whitney girl? She's just as much of a bright light as she appears on TV; it's not an act in the slightest. Her energy made me warm, fuzzy, and inspired all over again. It was definitely a highlight of the trip, and I left with giant emoji hearts in my eyes.


I feel beyond blessed to have these people and opportunities in my life. The internet is great for connecting with like minded people, but there is something really special about reconnecting with friends in real life. And I need it to keep me going, y'knowwhaddImean?

L.A., you've got some amazing people in you. You can bet I'll be back in July!
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