Thursday, November 12, 2015


Seattle, I'M SO EXCITED TO SEE YOU. I've wanted to visit your gorgeous town forever and now I have the chance WHILE seeing your beautiful faces!

I'll be at the Lane Bryant South Center Square Store (only 20 min from downtown!) signing books tomorrow (Friday) from 5-7pm and there is talk of hugs, selfies, and me listening to your stories. This is my LAST STOP. Lets make it memorable!

There will be books available to purchase (HOLIDAY GIFTS!) and of course I want to just get to know you SO- even if you don't have anything for me to sign, come over and let me squeeze you anyways mmkay?

See you tomorrow!

Sunday, November 8, 2015


The BIG Bang and I live in a town where body love and burlesque share the stage... and we're damn happy about it. Steve (yes the Steve- the brain behind the #FatGirlsCan video) has captured 150,000 images of our burlesque scene from over 1,200 performances which includes over 150 different bodies. Seriously. The BIG Bang is here to tell you how all of this happened, and I'm here to encourage you to support Steve's Kickstarter which is: a gorgeous coffee table book full of those images. Sign up for this shit (and get rhinestone pasties!). I will always promote him and his projects for many reasons, several of which include making my career as a Body WhateverIam possible. Really. I wouldn't be here without 'im.  He's a great photographer and a great friend. 

The BIG Bang on Tucson + Body Love + Burlesque and why it's SO important:


The BIG Bang McGillicuddy. That’s my stage name. 

I chose it with intention, and I write it with intention - the “BIG” in all caps.  It’s not a sexy name. It doesn’t stir up visions of a svelte, slender woman, writhing and shimmying across the stage. Truth be told, if you say it out loud it really doesn’t stir up visions of anything. But then I take the stage, and it all becomes abundantly clear.

And I strut onto that stage, all 200 pounds of me, and tear. It. UP.

By society’s standards I shouldn’t be anywhere near that stage. I shouldn’t have the balls to tease and taunt and strut and flaunt and make you believe that I am the best damn thing since strawberries and Nutella (don’t front - you know that shit is the bomb). But I do. Historically speaking, a girl of my size (and shade of brown, if we’re going to be real here) should be more comfortable fully clothed and taking your order, than half naked and serving you up the glam. If I was going to dare be a performer, I would have to be a lounge singer, and probably wear a long and conservative gown. Still fabulous, don’t get me wrong, but there would be no believing that I could be sexy. Because dark brown ain’t sexy. Jiggly thighs ain’t sexy. Stretch marks that make up the entire landscape of your belly ain’t sexy. Right?



The Tucson Burlesque scene is one of the places where all that and then some are considered sexy as hell. Body positivity and performance have come together in one giant ball of sparkle, and made the most beautiful twin babies, named LOVE & ACCEPTANCE. Where once the slender, hourglass figure was the “requirement” in burlesque, today Tucson celebrates all shapes, all sizes, all ages and all colors. Everyone from the full figured Gypsy Danger and Luna de Lumbre’, to the more slender and hourglassed Bunny Boom Boom and Fanny Galore. Women with skin as svelte as a panther’s coat like me, The BIG Bang McGillicuddy,  to the fairest burly babe in all the land, Diamonda Morgue. The youngens like Miss Harlequin Hex, to the seasoned and posh pros like Stormy Leigh. Even the disabled - like Jacqueline “Miss Dis-a-BURLY-Tease” Boxx. Literally EVERY DAMN BODY is welcomed into the rhinestoned arms of the Tucson Burlesque scene. These women light the stage on fire with their own personal brand of confidence every time, and dare you to look away. But where does it come from? Where do they find the strength to say “Fuck The World - I Own This!”? What IS that??

It’s Burlesque - plain and simple. It’s the Black Cherry Burlesque “Burlesque For The Soul” mentorship program. It’s Don’t Blink Burlesque’s “Fanny’s Fox Den”. It is the belief (and innate understanding) that in burlesque, weird is okay. Unacceptable is expected. And mocking the social construct of the day is damn near a requirement. The word burlesque is Italian in origin, stemming from the word burla, which literally translates to “mockery”. Isn’t that what we are doing when we dare to take the stage and shimmy our way into your hearts? Aren’t we mocking societies rules and standards of beauty? Aren’t we mocking the horrendous diet culture and social construct that says we’re not good enough, and that we’re not worthy of the applause?



Fuck yes we are. FUCK. YES. WE. ARE.

And you better believe that here, in Tucson, we are unapologetic about that shit.


Check out and support Steve's campaign here!

Tuesday, November 3, 2015


I'm in love with Morgan Radford, just so you know. And it's not just because she's kind, educated about discrimination or a fucking joy to be around. It's because she was the reporter to highlight fat positivity on the Today Show in one of the most positive ways I've ever seen.

In case you missed it, NBC sent a crew to San Francisco to interview me about my book "Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls." We sat in The Booksmith under hot lights for over an hour discussing everything from whitewashing in the media, to how to find love, to fat tropes we see in television, to the controversy around health and body shape. 

When she greeted me, it was with a hug and a "I started reading the book on the plane and OMG, I have so much to learn from you." A far cry from the skeptical curiosity that I usually encounter from journalists who work for large platforms. I'm always grateful for the chance to share the message of body acceptance, don't get me wrong... but to be greeted with enthusiasm about something so controversial? Mind blown.

I joked at the end of the filming to the crew that I hope they would be kind in their editing of the footage; "I'm hoping you don't cut it to say 'Everyone. Should. Diet!'" They laughed and promised they wouldn't but I assumed it was the same kind of promise Savannah Guthrie made when I asked her if she was going to ask a trick question on the live "Attractive and Fat" interview. She said "Oh honey, I ran out of those a long time ago!"

She did not run out of those a long time ago.

That said, I'm well aware that of course the draw of all shows lies in the tough questions and ultimately I'm happy to answer them. When Morgan asked "You say that you're not a better person if you eat carrots, and you're not a "mess up" if you eat pie. What about those who say it IS better to eat carrots?" I honest to god rubbed my hands together gleefully and I replied "Ooooooh I LOVE these questions!" and proceeded the long drawn out explanation of health, classism, racism, food deserts, etc etc etc.

I'm not telling you this because it's fascinating to know what goes on behind the scenes; it's all pretty basic. I'm telling you this because it's important to know that The Today Show had every single opportunity to make this a "sad fatty" interview. They had every opportunity to make me out to be a victim. They had every opportunity to make the message appear to be hopeful but delusional. BUT THEY DIDN'T. One of the most viewed morning television shows chose to show the message in a positive and incredible way. This only goes to show that while we still have so far to go... YES, body acceptance is here to stay.

A quote about this popped up in my Facebook feed from a much loved fat activist named Stacy Bias that says it much more eloquently than I ever could:

"Jes is totally doing this right. Her answer to the 'health' question is spot-on and manages to get all that complexity in there in a really manageable and relatable way. This isn't the usual 101 level message that has been sanctioned by the mainstream and even so, the piece here is positive and uplifting and the counterpoints take up very little room in this overwhelmingly supportive coverage. I'm so stoked for this work!" 

And THIS dear friends is why the Today Show clip is a BIG. FAT. DEAL.

Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls is a book that tackles often avoided topics like: ageism, disability, racism, health bias, "unhealthy fatties" and mental illness. It's not supposed to be popular. Yet it's often listed as the #1 New Release in Self-Esteem on Amazon. It also often pops up in the top 10 list of all best selling Self-Esteem releases... always following 6 or 7 of Brené Brown' books. Seal Press has already started the second round of printing because the book nearly sold out before it's release date. The #FatGirlsCan trailer was covered a dozen times, endorsed by Ashton Kutcher and has 48k views. All of this in addition to a spot in national morning television. 

I know this sounds like I'm bragging. I won't lie; of course I'm BEYOND thrilled. Not only because my blood sweat and tears lie in between that cover (and because someday in the distant future when royalties show up I can finally buy a cool latex dress. Or a root canal. I can't decide.) but also because this is all I have ever wanted as an outspoken advocate online. Ever since I started blogging, my goal was to make radical body love accessible for everyone. To share the message in words that were be understandable and would meet people where they are at. To take the concept of body positivity outside of the super political feminist circles (which are of course wonderful) and offer it to people like: the teenagers at the mall, the women who haven't had sex with the lights on in years, and my grandma. It's a fine line to walk; between extreme activism and palatable messaging... but it's happening, bitches. It's happening.

Body positivity in the last few years has officially become a "trend." It's been picked up and hugged tightly by women's media. It's all over Buzzfeed, Upworthy and other pop culture-y sites. And while some bemoan this mainstream popularity because it leaves the grassroots culture behind (and, oh, I get it), I personally am thrilled. Because now everyone can hear it. And because it's no longer a secret. And while there is still violent backlash, there is also a shift towards body acceptance in a way we've never seen before.

Make no mistake- I'm not saying that I'm the one who has made any of this happen. There have been pioneers of this message for decades, who have tirelessly climbed uphill without the support of media and 10 TIMES the criticism. THEY have made this happen, and I couldn't be more grateful. I'm just here because of them and I'm here to take that message of self-love to every fucking person who wants it. And I know you are too. Cheers to our army of body lovin' warriors!

And y'know what? Lets also toast to a million more "tough topic tackling", body positive Today Show spotlights in the future. 

Monday, October 19, 2015


I could not be more overjoyed to share the Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls trailer with you. It's something that my buddy Steve and I have spent countless hours on, that dozens of Tucson bad-asses have rallied for, and something that my favorite babely internet fat gals have contributed to...

It's also all about my favorite thing that no one will tell fat girls: THAT FAT. GIRLS. CAN.

FAT GIRLS CAN: wear horizontal stripes, run marathons, dance, find love, have a family, do cartwheels, do yoga, wear a bikini, make art, model, find their dream job, cannonball, travel, kick box, fly, belly dance, sail, have hot sex (with the lights on!), pole dance, cosplay, lift weights, play the lead, save lives, rock climb... and be wildly successful.

They can!
And we do.
And we will.

To participate in the #FatGirlsCan challenge:  
1.) Think of something that someone said you couldn't do because of your body.
2.) Take a photo of you DOING that thing that someone said you couldn't.
3.) Tag that photo on Facebook/Twitter/Instagram with the hashtag #FatGirlsCan. 
4.) Celebrate your awesomeness. 
5.) Repeat #4 as many times as you like.

I'm going to revel in your awesomeness over here- and post pictures of you doing what they said you couldn't- ALL WEEK LONG until the actual publishing date of Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls- October 27th. Inspire the shit out of me ladies (and everyone else!). You can- you totally can. And you already do. So document it with #FatGirlsCan!

I can't wait to show the world your power. I can't wait to celebrate your body and resiliency with you. I can't wait to show the world THAT WE CAN, GODDAMIT.

#FatGirlsCan. Forever.
(Check out the Facebook album of all the things YOU'RE ALREADY DOING!)


Don't forget to check out my tour dates so you can come celebrate your magnificence with me IN PERSON! And if you haven't nabbed the book yet, you can still catch it here! I love you. Never forget.

Sunday, October 18, 2015


This book tour just got real. I announced the three giant cities (okay, Tucson isn't giant) a while back and since then the tour doubled in size! Because: Lane Bryant offered their stores and support for book signings in Boston, Philadelphia AND Seattle. Bostonians, Philadelipians, and Seattleites (I'm making this shit up right now- forgive me) REJOICE! I'm coming to see you and hug you and sign things and it's going to be glorious.

I'm really super-de-duper grateful LB's support because it means three kick-ass things: #1.) Because Seal Press is a small feminist publishing company (just the way I like 'em), their resources are limited. Limited = 3 cities which is rad. BUT NOW THERE ARE MORE PLACES TO SEE YOU! I can't wait. #2.) This is probably the most radical thing Lane Bryant has done when it comes to inclusivity- this book is uncensored as shit, and I'm in awe that they're thumbs upping it. I'm also blushing. Pretty hard. #3.) I'm excited to reach their customer base, many of whom either: haven't heard of me or I terrify them (I'm teasing) and they all could use a good dose of Jes! I'm coming for you plus ladies, and we're gonna have a grand ol' time.

IN ADDITION to these six book signings, I will also be SPEAKING twice and I really want you to come.  If you're around Reading or Oxford come join us for the lecture that inspired this book! I want to make you laugh and answer your questions and listen to your stories. So get your ass there, OKAY?

The deets:

10/27 San Francisco, CA Booksmith 7:30pm
10/29 Boston, MA LB Braintree store 5-7pm
(^ With Storybook Cove Booksellers!)
11/2 New York City, NY Bluestockings 7pm 
11/3 Philadelphia, PA LB King of Prussia store 5-7pm
(^ With Towne Book Center & Café!)
11/4 Reading, PA Penn State Berks 7:30pm
11/5 Oxford, OH Miami University 7pm
11/6 Tucson, Az Antigone Books 7pm
11/13 Seattle, WA LB South Center Square Store 5-7pm

Someone needs to wish me luck with the whole "five events in five cities in five days" thing because... well, shit. It's gonna be a ride. WILL I SEE YOU THERE? I can't wait!

P.S. If you have a book, I wanna see it! Just tag it on FB, IG, or Twitter with #FatGirlsCan and I'm ON IT!

Saturday, October 17, 2015


This week has been an overwhelming whirlwind of emails and to-do lists. Booking a million (kfine, 14) flights between three separate companies (and double checking to make sure that American Airlines isn't going to be flying me anywhere with a close deadline. Get your shit together, AA.) approving graphics, answering and setting up interviews, letting guest contributors know what to expect, finalizing details with my publicist, collecting addresses for books, yes to that plan, no to that plan, yes to that excerpt, no to that excerpt, writing and mailing postcards, posting a million amazing pictures of you all in all your #FatGirlsCan glory, scheduling shuttles, re-scheduling shuttles because they fucked up the reservation, approving posters, rearranging more flights, OMG SO MANY FUCKING FLIGHTS... all of this interspersed with a kajillion small panic attacks and the normal life/work things.

It's always hard to tell what is fear and what is excitement for me; they often look the same in my world. And all that good shit is laced with anxiety. SO, I'm gonna just take a breather and revel in my blessed vanity. Because this is all certainly fucking exciting (and holy shit a once in a lifetime experience, right?) but I wanna think about something easy, super fun and OF UTMOST IMPORTANCE: what I'm going to wear, duh.


Besides you, of course. The top three things in life right now go something like this: 1.) You 2.) Kick-ass outfits 3.) The newest episode of How To Get Away With Murder that I'm going to watch tonight.

With multiple events, I get to have multiple chances to look like a babe, and I'm sure as fuck not going to waste ANY of those chances. Behold! Three of my favorite ensembles that I still very much need to pack:

I'll be looking like I'm a well behaved dame in San Francisco. Which I'm obviously not, but it's almost Halloween so I'm dressing up as the classiest version of myself... clever, right?

I'm bringing the fucking bad-ass to NYC. I'm planning on chilly weather, hot coffee, dirty subway rides (always preferred over Uber), and bitchin' plaid.

Plaid shirt | Fishnets | Boots (SO great for super giant calves - 20"+!!!!- smaller version here)

I'm SERIOUSLY excited about those fat girl hot pants, guys; they fit so well (I chose a 2x). Alysse from Ready to Stare is doing amazing shit over there.

I tasked myself with finding the gold-ist outfit I could for Philadelphia and I think I did RATHER WELL if I do say so myself!

Are you going to be in San Fran, Boston, NYC, Philadelphia, Reading, Oxford, Tucson or Seattle in the next three weeks? THEN YOU SHOULD COME HUG ME! Here are alllllllllll the details of the upcoming book tour starting THIS TUESDAY..

Do me a favor this weekend: wear whatever makes you happy at least once. A dress? Wear it. Sweat pants? Wear them! Vest and tie? Wear them. Lace top? Wear it. Your favorite shirt that's dirty? WEAR THAT. Tutu? PLEASE WEAR IT ALL WEEKEND!

Remember: there are no clothing rules. Only one suggestion from me: wear what makes you happy... I bet you'll find that it's fun. And when it comes to the subject of "being vain"- people only have a problem with your "vanity" if they're going through their own shit. But their shit is not your shit, so wear whatever you want, take a million selfies, look in the mirror and say "Hot damn, you're lookin' good!" and own that body of yours. You've got a good one.

SO. Will I get to see you while I'm out and about? I hope so. Come tell me your story, laugh at my exhaustion, cry onto my shoulder and let me sign your boob. Or stomach. Or face. Or book. Whatever. I'll sign whatever you got.

Friday, October 16, 2015


We all find ourselves in crisis at some point in our life. Maybe lots and lots of points, even. The duration and intensity of these crises depends on circumstances, biological makeup, and a few other factors, but the reality is  . . . we’re all going to need a little help to make it through this thing called life, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
One of the most terrifying feelings this concept can bring up is “What if I’m all alone?” or “What if I don’t have any support?” My dear friend, let me tell you something: You’re never truly alone. You’re not alone in your experiences — many of us are there fighting the same battles. You’re not alone in fear — we also deal with hopelessness as well. And you’re not alone in this world — there are resources available for you, should you want them.
Let me give you a few to keep in your pocket for the next time you might need some outside and professional help:
Phone hotlines to know:
National Hopeline Network (Crisis Hotline)1-800-SUICIDE // 1-800-784-2433
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline1-800-273-TALK // 1-800-273-8255
Suicide and Crisis Hotline and Adolescent Crisis Intervention and Counseling Nineline1-800-999-999
Adolescent Suicide Hotline1-800-621-4000
Suicide Prevention - The Trevor HelpLine (Specializing in gay and lesbian youth suicide prevention)
The Trans Lifeline (Dedicated to the wellbeing of transgender people)
US: 877-565-8860
Canada: 877-330-6366
Mental Health Crisis Hotline1-800-273-TALK
Exhale (An after-abortion hotline)1-866-439-4253
Grief support hotline:
Sexuality support hotline:1-800-246-7743
Eating disorder hotline:1-847-831-3438
Therapist resources:
Help Finding a Therapist via phone:1-800-THERAPIST // 1-800-843-7274
To find a
Other options:Talk space ( is a website where, for a monthly fee, you can communicate with your choice of hundreds of therapists to whatever extent you feel comfortable with.
There are also a TON of mental health-related apps that can assist you wherever you are. If you want more options, check out “Resources When You Can Not Afford Therapy.
As someone who has several mental illnesses (depression and borderline personality disorder, baby!) and has also worked with many adults with similar diagnoses, I can guarantee you that no matter who we are or what we are dealing with — support is the tool we all inevitably need. And that support can look like a million different things: people we are close to, books that lift us up, endorphins, therapy, art exploration, and other positive to-dos that can bring our head above water.
For some of us, though, the thought of talking to a person we are close to may seem like “too much” and, maybe this time . . .  expressive art isn’t going to solve our problems. I get it. Not everything is going to work every time for every person. For those moments, I suggest an anonymous phone call to a person dedicated to helping you get through right now. This is about you and your right to feel OK again, y’know?
If I could leave you with one last thought, it would be this: Your mental health crisis is not your fault. We are a product of our chemistry and the sum of our collective experiences, and we cannot fully control either. We are born into our bodies, and our biological makeup dictates a lot of how we experience the world. You don’t need to feel guilt or shame about a condition or situation that is out of your control.
And you know what else? I think you’re really brave. Facing difficult situations in life and still managing to getting out of bed? That’s brave. Staying in bed and realizing that you may need help? That is also brave. Either way: You are enough, it’s going to be OK, and you deserve all the support you need.
This was first published on Ravishly which makes me happy on the inside.

Thursday, October 15, 2015


Oh, the fierce and flabulous Visible Belly Outline.

Also called the VBO, (according to this fantastic Tumblr) the definition is:
Visible Belly Outline; that protruding shape that pushes from under your clothes when they are a certain material or tightness. It comes it different sizes and shapes: some are round, some are square, some are perky and some sag, some are smooth, some are lumpy.
The Tumblr then says:
"Let’s make our bellies visible instead of trying to hide them and show everyone how fabulous of an accessory a belly can be!"
WHAT A FUCKING IDEA! You mean... I don't have to hide my belly? Like, I can even accessorize it and flaunt it with reckless abandon? I'm SO IN.

Guys, I love spandex. NOT SPANX. SPANDEX. I love the way it looks. I love the way it feels. I love the way it hugs my fat body like it just doesn't wanna let go. And for the longest time I never let myself wear it because: the horror!!!

My belly is the last part of me I'm learning to love and it's not always easy. I know that is partially because I never see fat bellies positively represented... well, anywhere. We are all so easily conditioned and the lack of visible and sexy VBOs (plus the abundance of super flat sexy torsos in every ad ever) has us convinced that a belly outline isn't allowed to make an appearance in our world. And, like every other body rule, this is bullshit.


Did you look closely at them all? Did you notice the sexy shapes? The smiles? The middle fingers? The bad-assery radiating off these gorgeous humans? Good.

Now go back to the top and look again.

If you did this twice, you're already starting to retrain your brain and normalize the diversity of shapes we have in our world. Good job! Follow every body positive Tumblr you can get your hands on and continue this practice. It will make a difference.

Now, know that after you look at these, you don't have to run out and by a bodycon dress or skintight pencil skirt. And you definitely don't have to immediately start loving your belly. But what I DO want you to do is entertain the idea that all of these people are amazing. Fierce. Fucking HOT. And they're rocking something our world tells us we can't.

Think about that. 'Cause you can do it too. I'm starting TODAY. You with me?

All images are from FuckYeahVBO- click for more!


In my perfect world, we would all get together on Google Hangouts with martinis (or cocoa if you prefer) and we would watch each episode of Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries one by one until we ran out of episodes to watch. We would then write the producers Hurryupmakemorepleasekthx letters and then begin the marathon all over again.

Is this a thing we can do? I'm doing it already... just without y'all. I'd like it so much better if you were here.

Whatever we decide, I'm officially in love with Miss Phryne Fisher: the classiest woman detective to never live. She's a "modern woman" as they like to say with a cool head (and outrageously hot style) who solves murders by day and unapologetically takes in boudoir lovers at night. This woman has and does it all. Sigh.

I initially tried to resist Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries. It looked hokey and a little too.. British murder mysteryish for my taste. Its certainly none of that and if you invest a few episodes, you too will find yourself in love with this woman who does not, but should, exist. Tl;dr: IF YOU WATCH THIS SHOW YOU WILL GET HOOKED. HARD. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Miss Fisher is certainly not plus-size herself, but I WANTED her style so I set out to hunt it down on the internet... with very low expectations. After all, I've always assumed that 1920s fashion was unattainable for the plus lady. Dear lord I was WRONG. So, so, SO wrong and happily so. I couldn't believe my eyes as I scrolled through pages and pages of dresses, wraps, shoes, and accessories made for all sizes... including fat girls.


And so, dear readers, because I love you (and because I couldn't help myself) I've compiled INCREDIBLE outfits for you all inspired by Phryne herself. The clothing comes in a variety of sizes, but they're all available in plus sizes and some even go all the way up to 5x- which, for fast fashion is a feat! A flapper dress for you! And a flapper dress for you! A flapper dress for everyone!

I'm giddy knowing that there are so many fucking incredible 1920 clothing options for all sizes. It's honest to god, a dream come true for this fat girl. But know this- you're on your own to find a mother of pearl encrusted pistol. I'm not going to do all of the work here.

Beaded drop dress: Thank god we live in a word where this now comes in plus-size, amiright?
Plus garter and stockings: Where else is your knife going to go?
Drop earrings: The classic Phryne pair.
Lace evening shoes: Delicate and fierce. Miss Fisher in a nutshell.

Floor length gown: Holy shitballs. That's all I can think to say about this dress. 
Faux Fur Stole: Faux fur, don't worry. Also available in black.
Draped headpiece: Rather reminiscent of Phryne's in the top photo, don't you think? It's also $7, so there's that.
Silver shoes: Gawd these are gorgeous. And a perfect match for the Holy Shitballs Dress.

Black and red lace dress: Which comes in all sizes up to 4x!
Red velvet heels: These look ridiculously comfortable and are outrageously babely. Nothing better than that.
Plus sized gloves: Fat girls know they need specially sized gloves. Hips and Curves has you covered.
Lace shawl: I aspire to wear a shawl like Miss Fisher wears a shawl. New life goals.

Black fringe dress: It's cut in classic flapper style, which means it's impossible to go wrong with.
Black pumps:  Unf. These.
Earrings: Art Nouveau all day every day.

Sheer kimono inspired jacket: From Torrid and gorgeous.
Blouse: Simple and stylish
Pants: Or, trousers if you'd rather. They're "customizable" and sizes include up to 5x!
Cloche hat: A vibrant blue to match your...
Blue heels!: I can't get enough of this color. 

Two toned heels: I feel like you're required to dance if you wear these. I'm not entirely sure why.
Beaded shift dress: A vintage inspired piece for all you "modern women" wink wink.
Black wool cloche: For all-the-time wear
Drop earrings: The vintage pair to end all vintage pairs.

White lace dress: Please wear this while driving your motorcar so the scarf can blow behind you. Please. (Alt option)
Summer cloche hat: I didn't think I could love cloche hats more until I saw this asymmetrical one.
Sunglasses: The round ones were stylish long before John Lennon. These are also $6.
Tan T-strap heels: I just can't get enough of 1920s heels. Can't. Won't.

And, of course, a few bits and bobs that don't fit together anywhere else, but must be included in this list:

Black lace dress: This reminds me of the one pictured up top.
Black maxi dress: Comfortable and and 1920's stylish. Also up to size 5x.
Gold and silver dress: Coming soon. You can sign up to have them email you when it's available.
Simple black dress: Made for accessories of course! 
MAC Ruby Woo lipstick: The best red out there.
Front facing red hat: She wears one. Maybe even this one (probably not, but it's gorgeous anyways).

If you missed the other Plus-Size Icon Posts... fix that! They include: Beth DittoFelicity Smoak (everyone's favorite), Eloise, and Hilda the plus pin-up.

A few important notes: for an inspiring look into more plus 1920s fashion, visit Vintage Dancer- her site is amazing, authentic, and oogle worthy. For more 1920 shoe porn click here. For a plus-size Pinterest board to keep you happy, click here. Just cheerful reminders that life is good, fashion is becoming more accessible and whether you're going to dress up for Halloween, are attending a fancy event, or prefer the 20s for everyday wear... you can totally dress like Miss Fisher.

Life. Is. Good.

Are you a Miss Fisher fan? I'm also of course in love with Dot. Perhaps a Dot post as well in the future? But most importantly, Miss Fisher Fans... WHAT AM I TO WATCH WHEN I FINISH THESE EPISODES?

I need your recommendations. 
And quick... I'm running dangerously low.


FPHS- Purple long 2.jpg
[Image is a graphic of the words “Fat People Have Sex”]

There are many things that fat people have managed to come together to do since we started resisting our oppression. We have more fashion options than ever (even if a lot of them are online), Southwest is a fatty go-to for traveling with their free extra reserved seat policy, fat- positive conferences have been going on for over 4 decades and are growing, more and more medical professionals are embracing Health At Every Size, and the list can go on and on.

One thing that hasn’t gotten a lot of traction though, is fat sex.

There have only been a few projects and books that address the topic. This fact was pointed out in the January 2015 XO Jane article,  “Why I’m over the fat acceptance movement” that gives a number of critiques of the size acceptance movement as it currently exists. This article was a bit of catalyst for me in seeing that what I was already doing  - running Validity, the first body-inclusive sex gear website – had a potential to be a collective force within our community.

The way to effectively address issues surrounding fat sex is to approach it intersectionally. We have to look at ALL the different ways bodies are oppressed when it comes to sex and confront them as a whole. To do it any other way creates space for fracturing and exclusion.

Underlying this framework, though, is a concept that is so buried in our culture that it needs to be recognized before we get to talking about oppression – that sex is a vital part of the human experience. Sexual satisfaction and gratification are dimensions of humanity that need to be looked at as essential, not as afterthoughts.
It is so important to address this piece because when we talk about oppression – racism, sexism, poverty, etc. –  sex as an aspect of a fulfilling life is completely dismissed while food, water, shelter, and medical care are recognized as necessities.

I want to revolutionize that idea. If something can be a factor in the fulfillment of life of the privileged, which sex certainly is, then is should be seen as important in the lives of the oppressed. A person’s need for intimacy and sexual satisfaction doesn’t evaporate because they are discriminated against and have to struggle for sustenance. It has become an almost invisible layer of oppression. That is part of the reason it’s been hard to address with any large impact – we have been largely focused on things deemed “more important” by our oppressors.

I’m not saying that we should stop working on our general right to be respected as people. I’m saying that right should include sex.
This is where *You* come in.
I’ve just launched my crowdfunding campaign to raise funds to have the first physical space for Validity – The body inclusive sex gear store I mentioned earlier and wrote about previously on the Militant Baker. It will be a brick-and-mortar shop that expands the Validity website's mission and service by providing greater access and opportunity for education and community building located in San Francisco East Bay.
I am taking that intersectional, sex-is-a-human-right approach to fighting oppression by creating a sex gear store that is accessible to ALL bodies. I mean all of them. ‘Access for one means access for all’ is the guiding principle for how the store will be designed. There will be focus groups to directly involve our community in defining our diverse desires and needs for such a store, which doesn’t exist yet. For sex gear or art or books or kitchenware or ANYTHING. I have yet to find any store that approaches its service to customers from a universal access perspective (if you know of one, let me know! We can learn from them!). I also have an ongoing commitment to welcome and seek feedback to see how we could do better going forward.

Besides making this particular store accessible for all, we will be transforming our knowledge gained from creating this space into resources that people can take to their local retailers to help them advocate for themselves to have better access everywhere. People with oppressed bodies spend so much time surviving it can be hard to drum up the energy to advocate for change. Having the store exist will help alleviate that burden.
These resources also speak to the wide-scale view of change I that I seek to create. Great sex isn’t just about sex gear and how-to guides. It’s about valuing and treating yourself well.  General access in the world is a factor in how valuable we feel. No matter what the intention, if there is a store I can’t access, that business is telling me that I don’t matter as much as those people who can. That implicit message has a negative effect. It’s part of how oppression works.
The goal with this campaign is a little different as well. I want to bring together 50,000 people to donate $5 and pledge to treat everyone’s sex lives with dignity and respect. Yes, my crowdfund page has a monetary goal, but that’s only part of what is important here. We deserve a place like this. We deserved it ages ago & it still hasn’t happened.
50,000 people with oppressed bodies (this includes disabled people, aging people and people with unique anatomy as well) and our allies donating $5 a piece is a powerful statement about what we can accomplish as a community – even if we each individually don’t have a lot to give.

The internet shorthand for this call to action is:
ROS 1.jpg
[Image is a graphic of “hashtag Respect Our Sex”]
I have been working up to making this store a reality for a long time. I’m very grateful for the support and community I have that have led me to taking this leap of faith of asking others for support.

I hope you’ll join me.

Go to to donate to the campaign.


Wednesday, October 14, 2015


Giveaways are my favorite thing in the world. And by favorite thing in the world, I actually mean one of because I also love iced toddy, morning sex, making box forts for my cats, taking pictures of cute families, and oxford commas. And then, yes- giveaways. I like those too. Which is good because we've had a bunch of them here lately... and I HAVE ANOTHER!

Meet Luv.
Which stands for: Love, Unconditionally, Voraciously, Period.

I was unaware of Luv. before this year, but I'm thrilled to find them because of this: they donate 50% of all net profits to a "charity" on their list. This list changes twice a year based on their collections and currently it's all going to children related charities like UNICEF, Big Brothers Big Sisters, Feed the Children and more. Yep. That.
"Considered a social enterprise for change, Luv. is a community of artists and individuals who care about making a difference in the world. Connecting artists, consumers, and charities, Luv. provides a platform where exclusive products generate awareness and support a cause. From jewelry, to housewares, to ceramics, to stationary, to glass art, to accessories, and more, all products  have been specifically created for and are exclusive to Luv."
So yes, they have cool shit. They do cool shit. I luv. them. 
Was that play on words, too soon? 

Giveaways happen when someone contacts me and says: I wanna buy a specific spot on your blog so I can give free awesome shit to your readers. To which I say: does it involve licking envelopes, cheap tequila, or listening to whining children? (I hate those things) and when they come back and say NO, actually it's really awesome you'll definitely like it!, chances are I'll investigate and then say... OKAY! Let's do this.

This then means that I'm renting out some real estate, they're getting exposure, and you're getting presents year round. Which is amazing for everyone and I'm glad I'm doing more of these. Things to know: depending on who it is, they might letcha follow their social media accounts to have extra entry options. But no matter what, I always ask that there is a chance for everyone to enter at least once without having to "like" or "follow" anything. If you want to be an overachiever beyond that, it's up to you. Like and follow away.

AND, of course, if you think giveaways are bullshit, you're allowed to skip everything all together and just come back for my next post which will likely be about THE FACT THAT I HAVE A BOOK TRAILER. You're a grown ass adult and you get to make your own decisions, mmkay?

Luv. wants you to know about them (FUCK YES I AGREE) and to also give away a $75 gift certificate that you can use on anything in their store. WHICH, don't forget... 50% of that heads off to the non-profit you choose. So basically, if you want to give to someone today... enter this contest and win. Got it?

I'm so thrilled to see companies giving back (we have one in Tucson that's dear to my heart too: Fed By Threads) and I support them two kajillion percent. P.S. This would be a great way to nab a gift for someone YOU love. (P.P.S. there is also a code for 10% off I almost forgot about- just use LUVJES when you check out and you're a (semi) winner too!)

The giveaway lasts for a week and they'll be in contact with the winner! As always, good luck my friends!