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I am not a body image superhero.

I'm not always brave. I'm not completely healed. I'm not invincible. And though I logically know better... I'm not always "okay" with my body.

I debated sharing these photos because of the "Thou shalt show" and "Thou shall NOT show" bullshit that I've internalized when it comes to body size/shape visibility- even within online plus communities. To then put a spotlight on these raw photos in an outfit post where everything is expected to be composed and perfectly curated? Well, these images (being everything but composed and effortlessly curated) didn't help the anxiety.

I mean,  COME ON. I'm not wearing an oversize sun hat, high heels or having someone fan me with palm fronds so what exactly is the point of photographing this swimsuit, again?*

I then debated sharing this thought process with you at all because I know how we always inherently want online fat girls be superheros even though no one is, because: real life. But I get it. I get why we want them to wear capes and always have fantastic days while the remaining pieces of the crumbling patriarchy** just roll off their fabulously fierce backs as they strut off into the sunset. That kind of inspiration is intoxicating and very hard to find in this world.

But the hard to hear news is that every fat person on the internet is, in fact, shockingly... human.

All of us, and I think I fall into that last category a little more than most. This internal battle happens less and less, but some days, damn... the shame is SO REAL.

I ALWAYS see the beauty in other bodies. All of them; bodies of every kind- "even" a body that looks just like mine even when I'm not feeling certain about myself. This has been the case for ages. But my personal journey when it comes to me? It gets tricky.

And while I may not be feeling anything that I'm posting right now a full one hundred percent, that somehow makes it seem even more important that I blog about my personal bullshit. So today? I decide to say: FUCK IT ALL.

Fuck body currency. Fuck hiding. Fuck worrying about thighs that fold. Fuck belly roll woe. Fuck the concept of "unflattering" faces. Fuck trying to make scars disappear. Fuck wasting the precious (and limited) time and energy I have on hating on this body of mine when there are so many other important things I want and can and need to do.

So yes, fuck body shame and fuck the shame around body shame too. Fuck. It. All.

Whatever. Forever. Moving on. Amen.

All of these photos were taken at one of my beloved friend's birthday party and the joy and happiness that we felt there was indescribable. And that (dare I say!?) is what matters the most.

Regardless of my internal body image cross-examinations though, there is something that I NEVER question and it's: Is there such a thing as owning TOO MANY leopard print swimsuits?

The answer is no. 
No, there most certainly is not.

I'm wearing:

This leopard bikini top 
the matching strappy bottoms 

and this Nicki Minaj perfume because I don't believe in scent shame and it smells like every summer party I want to be invited to. If you're throwing a party that is going to feel the way Pink Friday smells, tell me when and where.

Note: I often wear 3x in most items on most sites, but this suit runs a little large and fits like a 4x. While it fits when my shoulders are flat, it also scrunches when they do the same. I might suggest ordering the ensemble a size smaller than normal.

Fashion to Figure doesn't have an affiliate program, but they are rad AF all around. They're always up to offer a 10% discount to TMB readers so if you ever shop there, save some dollars and use the code "THEMILITANTBAKER"   and get some of those SAVINGS!

(Moving on to my babely friends and THEIR suits: I did my damnedist to find similar options in plus sizes but shit... Its harder to find these exact suits online than it is to get my seven year old cat to walk on a leash. So- impossible. However, I did find some similar-ish options just in case you're loving what they're serving in the photos. Left to right:)

Katy options: 
Katy is wearing a brand that creeps me out (and doesn't have plus sizes- fuck that noise) so I'm just going to suggest checking out Swimsuits For All and specifically Monif C's  bikinis because they're amazing.

Tiera options:
Mazu Swim (up to 24) | Xback Swimsuit (up to 24) | Crochet High Neck (up to 24)

Najima options:
Pin-Up Zebra  (up to 4x)  | Underwire Zebra (up to 4x) | Ruffled Animal Print (up to 4x)


Corissa shared a few places carry 28+ swimwear. They include: Love Your Peaches (up to 8x), Ulla Popkin (up to size 38 but runs small), and Avenue (up to 32). Thanks Corissa!

And then this amazing back flop happened.

REMINDER: no one is obligated to embrace their body all the time. I'm going to make an enormous assumption and guess that no one "feels the love" every day. And y'know what? That's just fine.

I could write a million more words about this, but I already have for my manuscript and I have very few coherent words left (I ran out midway through this post, actually) so I'll leave you with this simple statement below.

EXISTING is victory enough.

P.S. Keep your eyes open for Alysse's "Best of Plus Swimwear" post coming up in the next few weeks for more amazing poolside options.

* Swimsuit links. The answer is swimsuit links.
** But, WHAT crumbling patriarchal ruins though, right? If anything they're busy reinforcing whole cities right now. I don't know what I'm talking about; my brain has melted in several ways. Ignore me. You get the point.



I can't pinpoint the exact moment I found Alok Viad-Menon. It happened several years ago but what I DO know is that my life has become exponentially better ever since.

Alok is a gender non-conforming writer, educator, entertainer and performance artist. I would presumptuously add to that: social justice superhero, bullshit squasher, and runway worthy fashionista. Among other divine descriptors of course.

Alok was once one half of
DarkMatter (a trans south asian performance art duo comprised of Alok [...] and Janani Balasubramanian. The two would  regularly performs to sold-out house. [...] Known for their quirky aesthetic and political panache, DarkMatter has been invited to perform at stages and universities across the world. Though DarkMatter ended in 2017, Alok continues to perform globally as a solo artist, producing shows that engage, enchant and challenge audiences. If I had the means to nab a ticket to New Delhi tomorrow, I would.

Vaid-Menon was also part of an HBO documentary last year called The Trans List and hasn't stopped kicking immeasurable amounts of ass since.

I find myself enthralled with Alok's online presence for a multitude of reasons, a few of them are listed here in no particular order because this sort of magic really cannot be ranked:

  1. Eloquent reminders about (approximately) a bazillion critical issues that we all need to be aware of, actively engaging in and work towards irradiating.
  2. Effortless style that I would be willing to sell all my belongings for the chance to master.
  3. Their biting political humor. Alok address important issues with seemingly effortless wry and unapologetic "nail on the head" hitting.
  4. Their constant reminder that socially constructed genders are bullshit.
  5. The best lipstick colors applied with unprecedented precision.
  6. Poetry. Beautiful poetry. Beautiful, political poetry.
  7. Uncensored and raw documentation about what it's like to navigate this fucked up world that remains relentlessly committed to to racism and transmisogyny.

    Do not bury your head in the sand when it comes to this. Listen. Read. Do better. Support.

Each exquisite photo below is followed by a quote from Alok's Instagram (follow!) and each sentence is filled with wisdom, honesty and essential messaging.


What is becoming increasingly apparent to me is that trans women & femmes of color are only invited in the room to share about our "journeys" and not about our ideas and politics. part of transmisogyny is the reduction of trans life to *experience* and not *intelligence.* the idea here is that trans women & femmes lack the capacity to comment on larger structures and can only speak about ourselves. what this does is make transfemininity something assumed to be shameful ("tell me more about how you came to accept yourself!" read: why would anyone want to be like you). what this does is make this thing 'gender' and especially this thing 'gender non-conformity' only the domain of trans femmes -- a logic which hurts us because we become minoritized even though others also have genders and femininities. 


I don't want to be a woman I just want to be free / I don't want to be a man I just want to be me 


"Q: How can art be used to critique and challenge politics?
A: Darling if it's not critiquing the establishment, then it's not art—it's propaganda! If we have to ask how to make political art then we have to ask a more basic question: Should we be making art to begin with anyways?" 

-from Out Magazine interview
Maybe she was born with it, maybe she doesn't believe in gender essentialism.

One of my favorite quotes of all time:

Do you accept trans women & femmes when we are not fabulous? when we are not dressed impeccably? when we are not wearing dresses or skirts or makeup? when we are not wearing anything at all? do you look at our nudity and see masculinity? when we say "i am not a man," that means this body is not a man's body, this hair is not a man's hair, these genitals are not a man's genitals, these hands are not a man's hands. or is your acceptance of us dependent on how much we inspire you? is your inclusion of us contingent on how much we look like you?

I literally keep on being chased out of women's bathrooms. but today my friend stood up for me and said, "no they can stay" and i defiantly took (a) selfie to remember what it looks/feels like when cis women show up for #girlslikeus


Constantly immersed in everyone and everything. and what my research has shown is that you are exquisite precisely because you are strange.

(via + via)

It's ok to break the rules sometimes (most of the time): socks with sandals, shorts in winter, clashing prints, clashing genders, assimilation, trump's racist & transphobic policies to list a few...


2017 is the year of refusing to accept the systematic denial & denigration of gender non-conforming people. this requires actively combatting any ideology, orientation, desire, or strategy which relies on the idea that there are only two genders and that these states of being must inherently be oppositional. how can we rally for the dissolution of walls and the permeability of borders and maintain the collective fiction of the gender binary? what would it mean to take upon ourselves the mandate to challenge not just *sexism,* but gender binarism -- to recognize that gender non-conforming people experience the brunt of the chaos without a discourse to legitimate it, let alone stop it. this means saying *cis* women's right's when we say "women's rights" and are just signifying cis women. this means saying *binary* trans people when attempts at trans inclusion only include those trans experiences. this means moving away from simplistic ideas of patriarchy just being about male dominance toward patriarchy being about the maintenance of the binary gender system itself. are we ready for what that entails? are we ready to embrace gender non-conformity beyond its aesthetics for its politics? are we ready to name and actively challenge the ways in which we have been taught to desire 'masculinity' OR 'femininity' and not those who unsettle both? are we ready to challenge the ways in which sexual and gender identities rely on the denial of gender variance and fluidity? or will we continue to sit back idly and watch gender non-conforming people suffer to the delight of both the Right and the Left? the right and the left arm believe they are not of the same body -- so when they come together to approach a neck i suppose they have different intentions. but the outcome is always the same. but the outcome is always the same.

(via + via)

Valentines Day TRUTH:

I want a world where friendship is appreciated as a form of romance. i want a world where when people ask if we are seeing anyone we can list the names of all of our best friends and no one will bat an eyelash. i want monuments and holidays and certificates and ceremonies to commemorate friendship. i want a world that doesn't require us to be in a sexual/romantic partnership to be seen as mature (let alone complete). i want a movement that fights for all forms of relationships, not just the sexual ones. i want thousands of songs and movies and poems about the intimacy between friends. i want a world where our worth isn't linked to our desireability, our security to our monogamy, our family to our biology. i want a world where femininity doesn't have to be validated by masculinity to be desirable. i want a world where femmes can hold each other say, "you are enough." no, say: "we are enough."

(via + artwork by Skreekos)

Woke up to literally hundreds of comments on my photos telling me to kill myself, that i am degenerate/cancerous/diseased, that i should be exterminated, that i have escaped from a mental institution and need to be hunted down, that i am a clown. good morning to you, too! just a snapshot of what it looks like to be gender non-conforming online -- and the worst part is that this wrath doesn't just come from cisgender straight people, it comes from everyone else too. a persistent and numbing recognition that are bodies are stolen from us for their insecurities -- that gay progress, feminist progress, and trans progress require the denigration and mockery of people like me. these things are not theoretical, they are real and very, very scary. I'm just feeling sad and exhausted because the violence is never going to stop because i'm not a man or a woman. 😢

This is the story of a girl who cried a river & drowned the whole world because of transmisogyny

You can find Alok on their Facebook, Instagram (my favorite), and Twitter. You can also read their writing here, see their gallery and videos here aaaaaaaaaaand if you want to support their priceless work they do, you can do so here. You can also purchase their "Femme In Public" poetry PDF here. It's $6... what are you waiting for?

Thank you Alok for allowing me to share some of your radiant contributions on this platform. The world is a better place with you in it.

P.S. You can check out other amazing crushes here!


I'm a sucker for shirts with strong, sassy, or salty statements printed on them.

More often than not, these tops are ordered late at night- when I'm in bed, exhausted and scrolling through clothing sites when I should be hiding my credit card and sleeping. Occasionally I'll run across a OMG I MUST HAVE THIS item, order it and then promptly fall asleep... completely forgetting about my purchase until it shows up on my porch. It feels a little like I'm throwing myself surprise birthday party all the time and I have yet to regret this.

My recent favorites include this "Go Climb a Cactus" gem, my new cardio shirt and of course the amazing "I Did My Best" number shown above. Though strangely enough, this last particular buy was on purpose.

I was recently texting with my best friend of 12 years. She was weepy (and legitimately so) over how difficult it is to raise three kids, keep them alive, give them a good life, support her husband, work an exhausting full time job AND try to be a Pinterest mom on top of it all.

Our conversation was long AF but sometimes real talk takes a little bit of explaining, y'know?

The texts went something like this (alternative option: you can also skip the texts and scroll down for the outfit details- I'm not the boss of you ❤️):

Mildly related: I'm living for fat Bitmojis right now.

So... maybe I ruined her life a little (an additional apology to anyone else who wants to believe that Hogwarts is a real place- I get it), but sometimes there's no other option but to tell the truth.

And the reality is that when we're doing our best... it's enough.

After saying goodnight, I followed my nightly routine and hopped on the internet to find her the perfect shirt as a reminder that she is, in fact, doing enough.

And then I ordered one for myself. Obviously.

Outfit details:

(I'm wearing a women's XL as a 20/22 and its TIGHT. 
If you need something larger try the men's sizing!

ALSO: Smart Glamour makes "customizable" EVERYTHING in EVERY size!
ALSO ALSO: A reader named Kelly mentioned that she sometimes orders large shirts from places like Torrid and then sends them to a screen printer which is brilliant!)

(MY FAV. I don't fit into Forever 21's shorts that come in specific sizing - 18, 20, 22 etc-
but when they come with stretch and 1x, 2x and 3x the largest size fits. Alt option with more sizes.)

(These are $6 at Walmart- my dog likes to chew them so inexpensive is a good thing- unfortunately they're not online but I linked a similar pair that are only $13. Ballet flats are my go-to.)

(I also have them in clear and LOVE THEM SO HARD!)

Side note: you might notice that I have some scarring on my legs-  I wrote a little about working towards accepting them here.

Bonus life suggestion: fuck flattering. Its a good one, so say it with me! FUCK. FLATTERING.

Proof that the "DOING MY BEST" STRUGGLE IS REAL, y'all.

So here's my suggestion for Ashley and all of us: don't strive for perfection. It doesn't exist.

Years ago, I was enrolled in a mental health institute and the facilitators shared a motto that has continued to stay with me:

Practice makes progress, not perfection.

Let's listen to them.
They're really smart.

(My above the knee tattoos are probably the best decision I've ever made- followed closely by deciding that three cats is a great idea- and they constantly remind me to live life my way. The tattoos do, I mean. Not the cats. "MY LIFE MY RULES" forever!)


I do my best to never expect perfection from anyone. Humans will always be very human-y and this means that we're going to make mistakes left, right and upside down. Trust me on this- it's something I succeed at every day. What I do believe in is: 

  1. Acknowledging when we fuck up 
  2. Doing everything we can to rectify the situation 
  3. Learning from the blunder and then
  4. Doing better next time

Try this, and there is a good chance that you'll watch a remarkable journey unfold.

There's truth in the concept that it's impossible to please everyone... trust me, I'VE TRIED IT. And it doesn't work. However, when we're being told by marginalized groups that we're causing harm and we want to make the world a better place? Well folx, that's when gotta listen up and follow something similar to those four instructions above.

I look back at older posts I've written and cringe. I knew so little (and still have SO much to learn, omg) but when I compare and contrast those blogs to my current ones? I can see the progress. This causes a few happy feels and I am infinitely grateful for all of the people in my life who have called me in (and out), showed me my shortcomings, suggested better ways to navigate conversations and inspired me to continually do better.

Sometimes when you work online and get criticism from all sides though, it's hard to know what feedback to listen to. Luckily for you, Ann Friedman created a simple illustration to assist with this.

In summary?

Do the best you can do and keep working on doing better... forever.




It's hotter than hell in Tucson right now and the heat makes all of us locals feel exhausted without doing anything. We also constantly feel sluggish and drive like total assholes on the road. Not an exaggeration.

I have a few coping mechanisms that help me get through this Southern Arizona summer (i.e. the reason this city still has low rent) and they include but are not limited to:

  1. Covering my bedroom windows in tinfoil and then working on my bed in the dark from 12-3pm every day
  2. Doing killer cannonballs in a pool
  3. Living in a perpetual state of denial that it's always 106° during this time of the year and I actually choose to live here
  4. Buying Otter Pops in bulk
  5. Praising whoever invented air conditioning and
  6. Blaring my favorite songs while using my living room as a dance floor

I highly recommend #1 for those who try not to cry when their electricity bill comes (it may look tacky but damn if it doesn't make a difference!) but even if you're not suffering from Sonoran Desert heat, everyone can benefit from listening these rad tunes.

So at the risk of having the entire internet making fun of my music choices, I'm going to share the songs I 've been listening to. Yes, on repeat.

My recommendation for your summer? Get up. Make a playlist that includes these 14 songs. Hit shuffle. Make coffee and then kick some serious ass.

Got them thunder thighs 
Boom clack they smack when I stride.

Guys, if this isn't the perfect summer anthem I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS.

Still walking and still laughing
I do what I want and die trying
And don't worry If you don't approve when they criticize you
Just say
Only me
It's me It's me It's me
It's me

  1. Dance your heart out to this. 
  2. Shake it all to this. 
  3. Jiggle everything you've got to this.
  4. Throw your hands in the air and spin in circles to this.
    or, at the very least-
  5. Play this song over and over and over again.
You're welcome.

Claire of Copper Union Apparel played this on repeat while road tripping through Washington and I can't recommend blaring this in your car enough.

There's something seriously special about loud music in a tiny vehicle.

I'm not crying, YOU'RE CRYING.

If you want to cry even harder, watch the mind-blowingly talented Jayna Brown perform this on America's Got Talent (starts at 1:58) and just know that you'll have puffy eyes for the rest of the day.

Totally worth it.

Lizzo has me worshiping her like the goddess she is every day. Of. My. Life.


My Basic Bitch self knows all the words, feels no shame about this and dances with my cats every time it comes on.

They definitely hate it.
I definitely love it.

My #1 karaoke go-to.

Pro tip: there's a really good chance that when you get to karaoke someone else will have already requested it. Ask them if you can sing a duet with 'em... it doubles the magic.


Jill Scott FOR LIFE.

My partner despises this song because my iTunes says I've played it 82 times. It's hard to blame him, but it's even harder to not make it 83.

I'm a fan of both Wicked AND Mika so to mix both together with better lyrics? I can't believe I'm going to say this... but I'd take this over Taylor Swift's "Mean" any day.

Never shall I tire of Sara Bareilles OR this video.

Sing the lyrics as loud as you can. The catharsis is real.

Gabifresh is brings the witch, Jacob Tobias is brings the glam and goddamn it if Mary Lambert makes it impossible to NOT GRIN while watching this.


Cheers to kick-ass music that keeps me going, rocking out and occasionally being productive. These choices even make house cleaning kinda fun... which is no small feat.

ETA: I made a YouTube playlist just for you so you can click play and just keep dancin'!

Any recommendations that I should add to the list? Lay 'em on me!


I shared on my Instagram a few weeks ago that I've started working with a non-diet "dietitian", or as Dana calls herself- a nutrition therapist- which is a perfect way to describe the work she does. After years of trying to figure out how to implement HAES into my life, I finally came to the realization that intuitive eating wasn't so intuitive for me. As someone who was raised in poverty and spent nearly 20 years dedicated diet culture, this shouldn't have been such a surprise. But it was.

The reality is that I, even as a 30 year old adult, have never learned how to appropriately feed myself. Real talk? I don't know how to eat

What a bizarre epiphany to have. 

Even though I've been writing about, teaching and hallelujah-ing the practice of body love and Health At Every Size, I still found myself at a loss when it came to reclaiming my personal relationship with food. It became apparent that there was a long road of un-learning, re-learning and recovery in front of me.

After begrudgingly coming to terms with this, I sent a pleading email to Dana of Be Nourished asking for guidance as I tried to unravel this absurdly complicated food consumption puzzle. And while I often feel like a five year old when we talk about food competency... it's been immensely helpful.


Dana and Hilary are the founders of Be Nourished- a healing based organization "founded on the idea that we are all born with remarkable instincts to love and care for our bodies". They believe that Body Trust® is a birthright. They, and their practitioners tirelessly work towards helping people lose the weight of body shame and create the change they seek from a deeper place. They are also dedicated to educating other clinicians on how to incorporate these concepts into their practice as well.

They are, in short, fucking amazing.

Check out their manifesto:
While one of my goals is to make it to their in-person training, they also offer an six week e-course that encapsulates all of these concepts. The next one runs from June 12th - July 22nd and they have graciously offered one of you a chance to win a free enrollment!


A bit about the "No More Weighting: An Exploration of Body Trust Wellness" e-course: 

"Together we will: 
  • Begin a journey towards rebuilding trust with yourself and ultimately, your body.
  • Rethink what the “problem” really is and what your “plan” should be.
  • Teach you about a path that honors your health and your emotional well-being. (this is not the “screw-it” plan)
  • Talk about new ideas, practices, and skills that create a sustainable path to wellness.
  • Treat you with compassion, address you with empathy, and hold space for your truth.
  • Honor all of you: your emotional, physical, spiritual, and relational needs.
  • Discuss the difference between body respect, body trust, and body love.

During this e-course, you will:
  • Identify the parts of you that are ready for change and illuminate the parts of you that need some support.
  • Examine the repetitive cycle that has you feeling stuck.
  • Practice listening to your body for wisdom: whether that comes in the form of hunger, fullness, cravings, desires, or deep longings.
  • Work with ways to tame your inner critic.
  • Practice bringing this new approach into your life, as it is right now.
  • Redefine “success” and make it something deeply meaningful.

What will I get?
  • Six weeks of content developed by Hilary & Dana, a therapist & nutritionist team that have offered groups, workshops, and retreats together for over 10 years.
  • A new topic introduced each week with a nearly daily process (we take one day off every week) for learning, exploring, sharing, and internalizing. We will offer videos, audio recordings, readings, journaling prompts, and more to share our paradigm shifting content in bite sized, digestible pieces.
  • Two conference calls over the course of the six weeks where you can ask Dana and Hilary questions. The calls will be recorded if you aren’t able to join at the time they are offered (and you can email questions ahead of time).
  • A community of people who get it, who are walking this new terrain with you. Your community here already believes in you and your body. Priceless, yes?
  • Access to a private Forum community to get into conversation with fellow e-course participants as well as Hilary & Dana. A place to ask questions, share stories, and explore all things Body Trust®.
  • A Be Nourished care package delivered to your doorstep within the first couple of weeks of the course including things like our “weight-neutral zone” door hanger (see pic), a hunger scale check in magnet, “Body Trust® is my Birthright” bumper sticker, among other goodies.
  • After the e-course is done, an invitation to join our Body Trust® Network, an ongoing online support community to continue the practice and share in the love with others traveling the same path.
  • A new way to show up in relationship to yourself and your body, and opportunity to step into parts and places in yourself that have been left behind.
  • An adventure. An opportunity to try different instead of harder. We will be your guides."

Giveaways happen when someone contacts me and says: I wanna buy a specific spot on your blog so I can give free awesome shit to your readers. To which I say: does it involve root canals, Tucson summers or red bell peppers? (I hate ALL of those things) and when they come back and say NO, actually it's really awesome you and your readers will definitely like it!, chances are I'll investigate and then say... OKAY! Let's do this.

This isn't a sponsored giveaway however. Dana and Hilary are good friends of mine and all of us feel like this opportunity is something everyone deserves!

Things to know: depending on who it is, they might letcha follow their social media accounts to have extra entry options. But no matter what, I always ask that there is a chance for everyone to enter at least once without having to "like" or "follow" anything. If you want to be an overachiever beyond that, it's up to you. Like and follow away.

AND, of course, if you think giveaways are bullshit, you're allowed to skip everything all together and just come back for my next post which will likely be about how much I love the brand Fashion to Figure. You're a grown ass adult and you get to make your own decisions, mmkay?

If you're interested in nabbing this free admission, all you need to do is submit your email address (additional entries are available too!) and cross your fingers, eyes and toes.

Additional course summary: "We are all born with an ability to eat in attunement with our bodies. Somewhere along the way, our ability to trust our bodies gets hijacked. We internalize messages from the people in our lives and our culture, and these messages encourage us to control our bodies instead of trusting them. Paradoxically, all of our efforts to meet these expectations result in our bodies feeling out of control, disgusting, or not even really a part of us. Our online course will help you come to terms with the obsession, the struggle and the dissatisfaction that has accompanied trying to change your body, your food, and yourself."

NOTE: If you're not the lucky winner (boo and I'm so sorry!) you can still enroll and receive a $30 discount for the course by using the code "nmw30". The first thirty people to register will get that screamin' deal and I wish you all the best!

a Rafflecopter giveaway
Wishing you all the luck in the world!


( First row: 1, 2, 3, 4  | Second: 1, 23, 4  | Third: 1, 2, 3, 4  | Fourth: 1, 2, 3, 4  | Fifth:  1, 2, 3, 4 |   Sixth: 1, 2, 3, 4 )

I highly doubt that I'll ever tell you to turn off your television and burn all of your magazines in order further your body liberation journey. As someone who works online all day and loves to critique (and enjoy) pop culture, it sounds like a life worse than hell. And I’m assuming that Netflix counts as television in this conversation so, fuck that shit.

If you're really into trying this "body liberation/acceptance/love/neutrality" thing though, I do have a suggestion that can help: Diversify your media feed.

It’s REALLY simple.
Simple as in: Click a few things a few times and watch your world change. 

If we allow our media feeds to regulate themselves without actively seeking alternative, body-positive options, they are more than likely going to be filled with Taylor Swifts and Ashley Grahams for miles. Don't misunderstand, though... it’s not that their bodies are bad, it’s just that they don't represent the amazing diversity of bodies that exist in our world. 

If we want our media feeds to represent real life (and ultimately show us that our body isn’t strange, weird, or awful) we need to go out and actively find diverse images for ourselves.

I’ve had success with this on a personal level; my body image perspective changed because I intentionally widened the amount of account types that I followed. The more diverse bodies I saw- the more stretch marks I saw, the more skin shades I saw, the wider range of physical abilities I saw- the more normalized every body around me (including my own) became. My appreciation of all bodies grew, and I started to see the beauty in EVERYONE.

All from changing my media feed.

There’s science behind this as well if you’d like to read about a study where they debunked the myth that “biological attraction” is why society prefers our current beauty standard and showed that repeated changing of imagery alters the way we view body sizes etc. It's all here with a nice NPR summary here

We are not born fatphobic, but rapidly learn fatphobia through culture. We are also not born racist but quickly become so because it's what our society is founded on. We learn ableism, sexism, ageism, and other harmful biases. But because they are learned, it means we can also un-learn them.

Our minds are retrainable. Our brains are rewireable. All is not lost, and nothing is fucked. If we actively feed ourselves visual proof of the diversity that exists in our world, we WILL learn to appreciate all bodies for what they are: perfect.

Instagram is the only social media I'm personally spending time on nowadays but when Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls came out, I wasn’t hip to IG culture so I didn’t include a list of accounts to follow. (Though I DID compile (now) over 370 resources of books, blogs, and other sites to use. Check those out for sure.)

Now that my visual feed happens through this particular app, I wanted to share a few recommendations of accounts for you to follow because I love to see them popping up in my feed. It’s no exaggeration that I have learned just as much from these brilliant minds and their images as I have through reading posts and articles. 

Instagram is succinct. Visual. Current. Perfect for retraining your brain. Neuroplasticity is such a gift.

Without further ado, ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY FIVE accounts I love that you can easily click, follow and then watch what happens as your world view + periphery expands

Some are personal, some are "businesses" and some (like mine) are a mix of both. Regardless, I've gleaned something great from each of them and I have a feeling you will too. You're welcome and I love you.

❤ Intersectionalbodypos
❤ Iofthetigress
❤ Itsfeminism
❤ Jacobtobia
❤ Jadebeallphotography
❤ Janetmock
❤ Jessamynstanley
❤ Joannathangia
❤ Kliuwong
❤ Kobi_jae
❤ Lafeministadescolonial
❤ Latinarebels
❤ Laughinggoddessapothecary
❤ Lauracallaghanillustration
❤ Lavernecox
❤ Littlelizziev
❤ Louisegreen_bigfitgirl
❤ Lupitanyongo
❤ Mamacaxx
❤ Mynameisjessamyn
❤ Natalieispoetry
❤ Nayyirah.waheed
❤ Nikiaphoenix
❤ Nubian_
❤ Magnoliahblack
❤ Marylambertsing
❤ Melaniin.goddess
❤ Mindsetforlifeltd
❤ Monicakimgarza
❤ Moosekleenex
❤ Moshoodat
❤ Nikita_gill
❤ Nazirasacasa
❤ Philomenakwao
❤ Queerfatfemme
❤ Queerxicanochisme
❤ Radfatvegan
❤ Readytostare
❤ Redressluvsu
❤ Roblympian
❤ Robynlambird
❤ Rosiereigns
❤ Rozthediva
❤ Samdylanfinch
❤ Saucyewest
❤ Shoogsart
❤ Staramrasu
❤ Stoptellingwomentosmile
❤ Thebodypositive
❤ Theijeoma
❤ Thejeffrymarsh
❤ Thoughtscaughtinmyfro
❤ Tylerfeder
❤ Undocumedia
❤ Ushshi
❤ Wagatwe
❤ Watanabenaomi703
❤ Weexistcollective
❤ Wewantequality
❤ Womanis.t
❤ Wizardfight
❤ Yvetteactually

P.S. Any Instagram accounts that you particularly love? Leave them below!

P.P.S. You can also find mental health hotlines, how to’s for the revolution, ways to protect yourself from online harassmenttips for being a fat ally, how to responsible while writing about transgender or suicide issues, starting points for finding a therapist, where to find online hugs and other resources here!

P.P.P.S. Oh, and while I'm thinking about magazines- Allure, Self and Vogue- if you could stop sending me publications that I never subscribed to that would be great- it's seriously creeping me out + wasting paper kthx.
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