Thursday, October 1, 2015


We all find ourselves in crisis at some point in our life. Maybe lots and lots of points, even. The duration and intensity of these crises depends on circumstances, biological makeup, and a few other factors, but the reality is  . . . we’re all going to need a little help to make it through this thing called life, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
One of the most terrifying feelings this concept can bring up is “What if I’m all alone?” or “What if I don’t have any support?” My dear friend, let me tell you something: You’re never truly alone. You’re not alone in your experiences — many of us are there fighting the same battles. You’re not alone in fear — we also deal with hopelessness as well. And you’re not alone in this world — there are resources available for you, should you want them.
Let me give you a few to keep in your pocket for the next time you might need some outside and professional help:
Phone hotlines to know:
National Hopeline Network (Crisis Hotline)1-800-SUICIDE // 1-800-784-2433
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline1-800-273-TALK // 1-800-273-8255
Suicide and Crisis Hotline and Adolescent Crisis Intervention and Counseling Nineline1-800-999-999
Adolescent Suicide Hotline1-800-621-4000
Suicide Prevention - The Trevor HelpLine (Specializing in gay and lesbian youth suicide prevention)
The Trans Lifeline (Dedicated to the wellbeing of transgender people)
US: 877-565-8860
Canada: 877-330-6366
Mental Health Crisis Hotline1-800-273-TALK
Exhale (An after-abortion hotline)1-866-439-4253
Grief support hotline:
Sexuality support hotline:1-800-246-7743
Eating disorder hotline:1-847-831-3438
Therapist resources:
Help Finding a Therapist via phone:1-800-THERAPIST // 1-800-843-7274
To find a
Other options:Talk space ( is a website where, for a monthly fee, you can communicate with your choice of hundreds of therapists to whatever extent you feel comfortable with.
There are also a TON of mental health-related apps that can assist you wherever you are. If you want more options, check out “Resources When You Can Not Afford Therapy.
As someone who has several mental illnesses (depression and borderline personality disorder, baby!) and has also worked with many adults with similar diagnoses, I can guarantee you that no matter who we are or what we are dealing with — support is the tool we all inevitably need. And that support can look like a million different things: people we are close to, books that lift us up, endorphins, therapy, art exploration, and other positive to-dos that can bring our head above water.
For some of us, though, the thought of talking to a person we are close to may seem like “too much” and, maybe this time . . .  expressive art isn’t going to solve our problems. I get it. Not everything is going to work every time for every person. For those moments, I suggest an anonymous phone call to a person dedicated to helping you get through right now. This is about you and your right to feel OK again, y’know?
If I could leave you with one last thought, it would be this: Your mental health crisis is not your fault. We are a product of our chemistry and the sum of our collective experiences, and we cannot fully control either. We are born into our bodies, and our biological makeup dictates a lot of how we experience the world. You don’t need to feel guilt or shame about a condition or situation that is out of your control.
And you know what else? I think you’re really brave. Facing difficult situations in life and still managing to getting out of bed? That’s brave. Staying in bed and realizing that you may need help? That is also brave. Either way: You are enough, it’s going to be OK, and you deserve all the support you need.
This was first published on Ravishly which makes me happy on the inside.

Tuesday, September 29, 2015


In my perfect world, we would all get together on Google Hangouts with martinis (or cocoa if you prefer) and we would watch each episode of Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries one by one until we ran out of episodes to watch. We would then write the producers Hurryupmakemorepleasekthx letters and then begin the marathon all over again.

Is this a thing we can do? I'm doing it already... just without y'all. I'd like it so much better if you were here.

Whatever we decide, I'm officially in love with Miss Phryne Fisher: the classiest woman detective to never live. She's a "modern woman" as they like to say with a cool head (and outrageously hot style) who solves murders by day and unapologetically takes in boudoir lovers at night. This woman has and does it all. Sigh.

I initially tried to resist Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries. It looked hokey and a little too.. British murder mysteryish for my taste. Its certainly none of that and if you invest a few episodes, you too will find yourself in love with this woman who does not, but should, exist. Tl;dr: IF YOU WATCH THIS SHOW YOU WILL GET HOOKED. HARD. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Miss Fisher is certainly not plus-size herself, but I WANTED her style so I set out to hunt it down on the internet... with very low expectations. After all, I've always assumed that 1920s fashion was unattainable for the plus lady. Dear lord I was WRONG. So, so, SO wrong and happily so. I couldn't believe my eyes as I scrolled through pages and pages of dresses, wraps, shoes, and accessories made for all sizes... including fat girls.


And so, dear readers, because I love you (and because I couldn't help myself) I've compiled INCREDIBLE outfits for you all inspired by Phryne herself. The clothing comes in a variety of sizes, but they're all available in plus sizes and some even go all the way up to 5x- which, for fast fashion is a feat! A flapper dress for you! And a flapper dress for you! A flapper dress for everyone!

I'm giddy knowing that there are so many fucking incredible 1920 clothing options for all sizes. It's honest to god, a dream come true for this fat girl. But know this- you're on your own to find a mother of pearl encrusted pistol. I'm not going to do all of the work here.

Beaded drop dress: Thank god we live in a word where this now comes in plus-size, amiright?
Plus garter and stockings: Where else is your knife going to go?
Drop earrings: The classic Phryne pair.
Lace evening shoes: Delicate and fierce. Miss Fisher in a nutshell.

Floor length gown: Holy shitballs. That's all I can think to say about this dress. 
Faux Fur Stole: Faux fur, don't worry. Also available in black.
Draped headpiece: Rather reminiscent of Phryne's in the top photo, don't you think? It's also $7, so there's that.
Silver shoes: Gawd these are gorgeous. And a perfect match for the Holy Shitballs Dress.

Black and red lace dress: Which comes in all sizes up to 4x!
Red velvet heels: These look ridiculously comfortable and are outrageously babely. Nothing better than that.
Plus sized gloves: Fat girls know they need specially sized gloves. Hips and Curves has you covered.
Lace shawl: I aspire to wear a shawl like Miss Fisher wears a shawl. New life goals.

Black fringe dress: It's cut in classic flapper style, which means it's impossible to go wrong with.
Black pumps:  Unf. These.
Earrings: Art Nouveau all day every day.

Sheer kimono inspired jacket: From Torrid and gorgeous.
Blouse: Simple and stylish
Pants: Or, trousers if you'd rather. They're "customizable" and sizes include up to 5x!
Cloche hat: A vibrant blue to match your...
Blue heels!: I can't get enough of this color. 

Two toned heels: I feel like you're required to dance if you wear these. I'm not entirely sure why.
Beaded shift dress: A vintage inspired piece for all you "modern women" wink wink.
Black wool cloche: For all-the-time wear
Drop earrings: The vintage pair to end all vintage pairs.

White lace dress: Please wear this while driving your motorcar so the scarf can blow behind you. Please. (Alt option)
Summer cloche hat: I didn't think I could love cloche hats more until I saw this asymmetrical one.
Sunglasses: The round ones were stylish long before John Lennon. These are also $6.
Tan T-strap heels: I just can't get enough of 1920s heels. Can't. Won't.

And, of course, a few bits and bobs that don't fit together anywhere else, but must be included in this list:

Black lace dress: This reminds me of the one pictured up top.
Black maxi dress: Comfortable and and 1920's stylish. Also up to size 5x.
Gold and silver dress: Coming soon. You can sign up to have them email you when it's available.
Simple black dress: Made for accessories of course! 
MAC Ruby Woo lipstick: The best red out there.
Front facing red hat: She wears one. Maybe even this one (probably not, but it's gorgeous anyways).

If you missed the other Plus-Size Icon Posts... fix that! They include: Beth DittoFelicity Smoak (everyone's favorite), Eloise, and Hilda the plus pin-up.

A few important notes: for an inspiring look into more plus 1920s fashion, visit Vintage Dancer- her site is amazing, authentic, and oogle worthy. For more 1920 shoe porn click here. For a plus-size Pinterest board to keep you happy, click here. Just cheerful reminders that life is good, fashion is becoming more accessible and whether you're going to dress up for Halloween, are attending a fancy event, or prefer the 20s for everyday wear... you can totally dress like Miss Fisher.

Life. Is. Good.

Are you a Miss Fisher fan? I'm also of course in love with Dot. Perhaps a Dot post as well in the future? But most importantly, Miss Fisher Fans... WHAT AM I TO WATCH WHEN I FINISH THESE EPISODES?

I need your recommendations. 
And quick... I'm running dangerously low.

Monday, September 28, 2015


I'm almost positive that you've heard of Bandelettes before. If not by name, then by description: those brilliant stretchy lace leg things that stop chub rub in it's sweaty little tracks. 

Yeah? GOOD BECAUSE THEY'RE AMAZING. The people and the product actually. Julia emailed me from Bandelettes and asked if I wanted to try a pair- uh, yes please and she quickly sent over the perfect size (D- well done Julia!) in several colors. Here's the thing guys- if I could get away with only wearing Bandelettes I would. They're functional, sure but holy shit... they're SEXY. I now wear them partially to thwart chub rub and partially to have something lacy peeking out from underneath my skirt.

'Cause I'm a showoff like that.

But enough about me. Lets talk about you. Lets talk about how Bandelettes wants to give FIVE winners the chance to select the 2 pairs of Bandelettes that they love most. Five of you. Two pairs. Ready for this?

Giveaways happen when someone contacts me and says: I wanna buy a specific spot on your blog so I can give free awesome shit to your readers. To which I say: does it involve cleaning out litter boxes, blue cheese, or Gordon Ramsay? (I hate those things) and when they come back and say NO, actually it's really awesome you'll definitely like it!, chances are I'll investigate and then say... OKAY! Let's do this.

This then means that I'm renting out some real estate, they're getting exposure, and you're getting presents year round. Which is amazing for everyone and I'm glad I'm doing more of these. Things to know: depending on who it is, they might letcha follow their social media accounts to have extra entry options. But no matter what, I always ask that there is a chance for everyone to enter at least once without having to "like" or "follow" anything. If you want to be an overachiever beyond that, it's up to you. Like and follow away.

AND, of course, if you think giveaways are bullshit, you're allowed to skip everything all together and just come back for my next post which will likely be about how much I want to dress like Miss Phryne Fisher (no really, that's coming next). You're a grown ass adult and you get to make your own decisions, mmkay?

(via, via, via, via)

Five of you! You choose your favorite two pairs! Several options for entering! All countries can enter (ignore the US only on the form;))! "Unisex" options available! They work great under shorts too! GO GUYS GO! Exclamation points forever!

Best of luck y'all! The giveaway will run for one week and the winners will be contacted by email once they're chosen.

Sunday, September 27, 2015


I was surprised (but only kinda) at the responses that appeared on my Facebook page and Instagram when I recently posted a picture of my lap on a plane with the caption “Not all seat belts are the same length, and today finally needed to request a seat belt extender. Here's the worst thing that happened: I was comfortable.”
What followed was a flood of comments confessing the terror that plus size people feel when they contemplate boarding a plane. They shared the shame that accompanies the side eye, the fit of the seat, the unpredictability of the seat belt length...the list goes on and on.
And I GET IT. When horrifically cruel letters to fat people on planes go viral, and even the occasional attendant can appear to be judgemental, well, flying isn’t on the list of “Fun Things Fat People Can Do.” But there are tricks that you can utilize to make it less difficult, and, dare I say, fun. I fly A LOT for work and some flights have become enjoyable as I’ve learned more tricks to keep me comfy. (Although, my favorite flight had nothing to do with comfort and more to do with the fact that it was Christmas Eve and the pilot would give the kids updates on Santa sightings).
I’ve compiled the BEST ways that I have found to ease the discomfort (physical and emotional) of flying while fat in hopes that you feel free to travel the world just like everyone else!
Wear a body-positive shirt: I had no idea how helpful this was until my last flight to NYC. I wore a “Riots Not Diets” shirt for its relaxed fit (see the tip below too) and as I moved throughout the airport and plane I felt this strange sense of empowerment. My shirt (see my three favorites here) was inadvertently telling everyone “Look, I already know I’m fat, and I don’t really care. If you’re gonna judge me, don’t bother.” It was wild how much shame that outfit eliminated from my trip.
And on that note, dress for comfort: I’ve seen people dressed to the nines in airports, and I often wondered if I should follow suit. My decision? Fuck no. I wear yoga pants, a bralette, and a comfy top now because...who needs to feel cumbersome when you’re already dealing with stress? Not me, that’s for goddamn sure. If I do happen to be going somewhere directly off the plane, I just change at the airport when I reach my final destination.
Use a seat belt extender: So many people know they can fit into the seat but have panic attacks when they think about clicking the seat belt. If you feel this way, you’re not alone. If you can’t buckle up (the length varies depending on the seat and airline), just ask for a seat belt extender. Some people just flag down the attendant and say, “I need that fat person buckle!” Or if the thought of saying that terrifies you just confidently ask for an extender. Still scary? Bring your own! They’re available on Amazon and are TOTALLY Bedazzle-able.
Fly Southwest: As of right now, Southwest Airlines has a “Customer of Size” policy. The idea behind it: You purchase two seats (to be sure they don’t overbook), and after your flight you request a refund for the extra one. This means more worry-free room at no actual charge! I’ve heard this refund can take anywhere from a few days to a few months, but it does come. However, if fronting the money for two seats isn’t possible for you, there is another way to make the system work for ya! For the super budget-friendly option, purchase one seat, and when you check in speak to the Southwest rep. Ask the rep if there is any extra room on the flight, and if so, request the “extra fat-girl seat.” Or call it the “Customer of Size seat” — they’ll know what you mean. If there is room on the flight, this extra seat will be free, and they’ll print out a special little boarding pass for you that says “Reserved.” When you show your special pass to the nice people at the gate, say, “Someone told me I should come up here so this can be included in pre-boarding.” That someone would be me.
They shouldn’t give you a hard time, but if they do, tell them Jes Baker says they should just do their job already thankyouverymuch. When you preboard, you’ll have your pick of seats. Sit down and place your Reserved pass next to you and don’t let anyone sit on it. This is the part that sucks. People sometimes just don’t get it. But fight ’em off, and choose your seats near the back of the plane, so fewer people are likely to try to commandeer that space. Unless it has, at the last minute, become a full flight, you do not need to concede.
Honestly, it’s a LOT of fucking work, but if you’re on a five-hour (or more) flight, and you don’t want to be scrunched into the corner and elbowed by the middle person? It might be worth it. Know your options and that it is okay to take up space.
Bring Xanax: Or take something else that will help you relax. If pills make you nervous or are unavailable to you, visit a health food store and check out their natural options. It’s totally worth it. If you’re tempted to stop flying because of nerves, find an aid to help you relax. I’m totally serious. It helps me immensely.
Be the last person on the plane: Not flying Southwest? Wait until the very end of the line to board so that when you walk on, you can scout for any side-by-side empty seats. Too often we’re afraid to “break the rules,” but if everyone else has boarded and no one is sitting there, you can! Controversial, but seriously, fuck that shit. Ask the attendant if you’re feeling cautious; nine times out of 10 they’ll say “No problem!”
Pack light: This may seem a little but “Duh!” but I’ve found that when I bring less, I stress less. You don’t have to spend time figuring out where your bag should go, how to retrieve your items, if you should check them at the gate, etc. When I go on two- or three-day trips, I try to fit everything I need in a Samsonite bag. This keeps my blood pressure low.
Acknowledge the elephant: The one in the room. Or, rather, plane. Sitting down next to someone and it’s super tight? Don’t pretend like it’s not happening. Say, “Looks like we get to share a personal space bubble today!” Jennifer McLellan of Plus Size Birth has said, “Hope you like cuddling!” Laugh about it. Say what you need to in order take the edge off.
Check out companies that are dedicated to making flying while fat pleasant: one worth checking out is Abundant Travel. They are dedicated to the cause, and might be able to help ease the difficulty of having a larger body in a plane.
It’s OK if you’re not comfortable flying. It’s your life, so if you don’t wanna...don’t. BUT if you do? You can and you should! Live that life. See the world. Visit your loved ones. Make it as enjoyable as you can, and fuck the people who have a problem with your existence. Fat people aren’t the only ones who have anxiety about the small seats (a reader shared that at a size 8 she still needed a seat belt extender!) and you deserve to live a full, adventurous life.
Got any other tips for flying while fat? Let’s hear them!
This post was first published on Ravishly with mixed reviews, which reinforces it's relevancy and importance.
I'd like to address a few concerns that some dear readers had, in hopes to clarify what I never knew had to be clarified.
  • When it comes to the "Hope you like cuddling!" part, I am not suggesting you cuddle with your seatmate. In fact, please do NOT cuddle with your seatmate, like, ever. Unless they're your partner and they're cool with it, obvs. Additionally, in the same vein of "Things I Never Thought I'd Have to Say", please don't say things of this nature (or anything at all) in a creepy voice to the person next to you. Clear? Okay, good.
  • There are two different kinds of seat belts. Do some research before purchasing an extender.
  • Anyone is welcome, regardless of size, to utilize these tips- not just fat people. Comfort while flying is a nice thing for everyone
  • Reminder: if you're angry at people because of their body size, you should encourage (not discourage) the finding of extra seating. This gives everyone more room, you included.

Happy flying!

Sunday, September 20, 2015


I know some of you are anti-wearing-my-love-of-cats-on-the-outside-because-it's-my-secret, but girl, I'm the opposite. The more cat shirts the better. ESPECIALLY if they say "Let's go back to my place and watch cat videos."

I've used that line before (honest to god) and it was on my current partner... so it seems to work just fine.

These shoes are from JustFab,com. Don't buy them; that company is nearly impossible to unsubscribe from. Instead, go to Walmart (I know) and find their $6 flats with the leopard insoles. They're ridiculously comfortable and... well, $6. I always have a couple pairs at home because they go with everything.

FAT GIRL PANTS. LET'S TALK ABOUT THEM. Before they arrived, I assumed that they would be Jeggings. I was only kind of wrong. They're twice as thick and really fucking comfortable. Think 1/2 Jeggings, 1/2 jeans. A magical combination for someone who is always skeptical of fat girl pants.

Also, fuck those people who say fat bodies shouldn't wear "skinny jeans". They can and they do and it's awesome. 'Specially these.

Note: I'm 5"4' and they had a couple inches of extra leg at the bottom. This wasn't a problem since they're so goddamn stretchy, so no matter your height they should fit juuuuuust fine.

One last word of advice. Stay far, far, FAR away from the orange Maybelline mascara. It will get in your eyes, sting like fuck, make you cry until you can no longer see, and then send you home like this:

Classy, right? You're welcome for the warning. I share because I love you.

Saturday, September 19, 2015


I can't believe that we (finally) live in a world where something like this exists BUT WE DO AND IT DOES. And today I'm a little teary that I don't live in NYC, but if you live nearby, you need to go to The Big Fat Flea on October 4th. It sounds like the most incredible event and most importantly (to me, anyways) it's a fundraiser for NOLOSE; a conference I dream about attending one day.

From their press release (bold mine): 
The Big Fat Flea is the nation's largest plus-size clothing flea market. Shoppers flock from far and wide to find bargains on plus-size clothes and commune with other stylish fatshionistas. With over 500 shoppers in one day, this all-gender shopping event for clothing in sizes large and up is the biggest annual fundraiser for NOLOSE, a national body-positive organization. 
The Big Fat Flea will feature great clothing bargains that cater to plus-size shoppers. This day-long event is bigger than ever, including new clothing sourced directly from plus-size retailers as well as gently-used individual donations from brands such as ASOS, Dorothy Perkins, Carmakoma, and Torrid. With no item priced over $10, shoppers will find amazing deals 
For those who want to skip the line, get first access to all of the clothing, and enjoy a half hour of crowd-free shopping, a limited number of VIP tickets are available. VIP Shopping begins at 10:30AM and doors open to the general public at 11AM. Both VIP tickets and regular admission tickets are on sale at
If you're nearby GO. And send me pictures. And then also follow their Tumblr, which sounds random but do it anyways because CHRIST it's awesome.

My name is Jes Baker and I support this post 100%.

Friday, September 18, 2015


My partner and I were at a burlesque performance a little while ago, where someone I had previously dated ended up dancing on stage. This, in addition to watching other female friends perform, provoked a conversation between us about body confidence (and the lack thereof) while watching others get (mostly) naked on stage. In the middle of our dialogue, he said something I would have never expected to leave the mouth of my lover: “Well, I have to be honest . . . your ex makes me feel fat.”
I without thinking quickly shut him down. “Oh babe, you’re not fat!” And in my mind, he’s not. He then responded by saying, “You need to let me define my own body and if I think I’m fat, I’m fat.”

Holy shit. Way to put this body activist in her place, dude.
He was absolutely right.

This was a mind-blowing moment for me, and I had to dig a little internally to understand why I felt so strongly that my boyfriend wasn’t fat. I eventually came to the realization that it had nothing to do with his body and everything to do with mine. I see him as the straight-sized person in our relationship, and it’s even something that I’ve written about extensively. It’s also possible that a lot of other people see him in this light as well, but none of that matters — this is his body and he has the right to define it in whatever way feels good to him.

We continued to discuss this concept and we talked about how I identify as irrefutably fat, yet people online will consistently comment that I’m not really that fat, or even that I’m not fat at all. If I had to guess, I would assume that this has everything to do with their comparison of their body against mine. It only makes sense that their feelings about their size alters the way they see mine. Body definitions are all relative, and when something’s completely relative . . . it means that ultimately the person’s opinion about their own body is the only one that matters.
The opposite situation can happen as well. Tess Holliday’s self-proclaimed size of 22 is largely contested online, often met with the opinion “I'm a size 22. There’s no way she’s that small.” What this says to me is that said commenter is uncomfortable being compared (even if only in their mind) with someone who they don’t want to identify with. Again, not about the original person but rather the person on the outside looking in. It’s interesting how often this happens.
Even though this is something I’ve thought about for a while, I found myself making this mistake today when I saw a photo of Kate Winslet on Facebookwhere she said “I know I’m chubby” and continued to talk about how she valued her authentic self no matter what. My instant reaction when I compared these words against her portrait was to say: YOU’RE NOT CHUBBY KATE! WTF ARE YOU THINKING?
Wrong answer. Try again, Jes. The reality is that Kate Winslet feels that she’s chubby, and in her mind, world, and community she is. I’ll say it again: this is 100% valid.
Now, as a public body activist, I try to be sensitive to how my words affect others. The importance of this was solidified not too long ago after publishing anarticle here on Ravishly where I wrote, “So yes, I’m fat now. Like super fucking fat.” A message from another activist and friend quickly landed in my inbox and read:
“Hello Lovely, I read the new essay about those asshats with too much time and a copy of photoshop. I love the way you approached this. There was some wording in the essay though that snagged my proverbial sweater. At one point you refer to yourself as "super fucking fat" and I can see how mirrored against societal beauty standards you could be identified that way, in the fat community you wouldn't be and it feels a little like erasure of Super Fats like myself when smaller bodies fats claim the title. I definitely know you don't mean it that way but I did want to share my feelings on it with you just in case someone else feels the same way. I appreciate you and your work so I hope I am not overstepping in bringing this up.”
Not only did I appreciate the kind tone in which this correction was shared, but I loved the explanation of something I would have never considered. I wrote back that this never crossed my mind and THANK YOU for bringing it to my attention. My editor then rectified this situation immediately.
But Jes, you just said we should let everyone identify however they want. Doesn’t this include you and I?  Yes, my friend, it does! However, when someone expresses the feeling of erasure due to the words I use, I like to respect their feelings and needs. And why not? It doesn’t invalidate my body in any way, and it offers space for other bodies to exist as well.
The moral of these stories? #1: Let's start letting others define their bodies without feeling the need to challenge them. #2: When we contest someone’s definition of their body, it says a lot more about us than about them . . . so let’s check in with ourselves when this happens. And #3? Being aware of how your personal labeling of your body affects others is an awesome thing.
I really love the idea of a world in which we’re allowed to define ourselves, our worth, our talents, our importance, and yes . . . even our bodies.
This first appeared on Ravishly which if you haven't checked out... you should.

Wednesday, September 16, 2015


Marvel and Zoe are a mother + daughter team in Wisconsin that run an online plus-size clothing store (AND they have a brick and mortar!) called Z.Bella Boutique dedicated to helping fat chicks look and feel good. Every time I come across one of these companies I get a little teary. Which could be because I don't sleep enough OR because I'm so happy to know there are so many people out there that are passionate about this cause.

Probably both. 

Giveaways happen when someone contacts me and says: I wanna buy a specific spot on your blog so I can give free awesome shit to your readers. To which I say: does it involve yard work, Aquarium Kings, or whiskey? (I hate those things) and when they come back and say NO, actually it's really awesome you'll definitely like it!, chances are I'll investigate and then say... OKAY! Let's do this.

This then means that I'm renting out some real estate, they're getting exposure, and you're getting presents year round. Which is amazing for everyone and I'm glad I'm doing more of these. Things to know: depending on who it is, they might letcha follow their social media accounts to have extra entry options. But no matter what, I always ask that there is a chance for everyone to enter at least once without having to "like" or "follow" anything. If you want to be an overachiever beyond that, it's up to you. Like and follow away.

AND, of course, if you think giveaways are bullshit, you're allowed to skip everything all together and just come back for my next post which will likely be about how much I want to dress like Ms. Frizzle. You're a grown ass adult and you get to make your own decisions, mmkay?

Z.Bella wants you to have a $100 gift certificate to use on anything in their online store! IMPORTANT NOTE: IN ADDITION TO HAVING CLOTHING THEY ALSO HAVE INCREDIBLE JEWELRY. Like, incredible incredible. Just wanted to let you to know.

Enter away! Giveaways will run for one week and Zoe will contact you if you're the lucky bitch that fate chooses!


I'm SO HONORED to have had so many prolific individuals share their personal feels when it comes the emotions that came while reading "Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls." Warm fuzzies. They're still a thing, guys.

WE FINALLY HAVE SET DATES FOR BOOK SIGNINGS and I want to share them with you because they're on each side of the coast and I'm pretty sure you and I need a bookstore date REAL BAD!


10/27 San Francisco, Booksmith 7:30pm
11/2 New York City, Bluestockings 7pm 
11/6 Tucson, Antigone Books 7pm

Alll of these events will be hosted by Seal Press, the publishing company that I've been in love with since their publishing of Inga Muscio's Cunt - the little feminist flower book that changed my world forever. I love them dearly and we've managed to find kick-ass feminist bookstores in several cities to spend time with you in! COME HAVE FUN WITH US I WANT TO SEE YOU!

Advance Praise:

"If only Things No One will tell Fat Girls were my bible 25 years ago, it would have surely saved me years of hating my body. This book is a must read for girls and women of all ages and sizes. I believe this book has to power to change the trajectory of self-loathing for countless females. Bless you, Jes Baker." -Ricki Lake

"Fierce. Funny. Factual. Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls tackles our most deeply held beliefs about our bodies with razor sharp wit and an  unapologetic commitment that we all deserve to love these vessels we live in. Bravo for this piece of body liberation!"  -Sonya Renee Taylor Founder of The Body is Not an Apology


"Baker has done it all: A fierce, funny, and rocking manifesto that applies solid science to challenge common body myths, exposes cultural health hypocrisies, and stays true to the politics of social justice. Things No One will tell Fat Girls will inspire you to find and flaunt your own brand of awesome." -Linda Bacon PhD author of HAES® and Body Respect 


Saturday, September 12, 2015


Finding a cisgender* man who talks publicly about body image and politics is kinda like coming across a gelato-eating unicorn who murmurs compliments about how sexy your brain is with an Italian accent. My poorly made point: It’s pretty fucking rare.
But these humans do exist, and THANK GOD they do. Mainstream capitalization on male body image issues may be “new” in comparison to the historical obsession with policing women’s bodies, but I would have to say that it’s just as important — maybe even more so. Here’s why: cisgender men have been targeted in similar ways for a few decades now (Naomi Wolf notes a large social focus on this starting in the 1990s) which seems recent but know this: it’s a rapidly growing issue. In the last few years, beauty products marketed towards men have increased by over 70%. Men also deal with eating disorders, body dissatisfaction and other similar issues often assumed to be experienced by just women.

The most alarming thing? Because we still live in a culture that demands that men remain unaffected by emotional issues and “man up,” they have no space in which to safely talk about bullying, self esteem and other important body topics. Friends, silent oppression is the scariest oppression of them all.

SO, I’m so glad to see an emergence of male voices that are demanding a piece of the Internet in which to talk about these critical subjects. Unfortunately, in comparison to the female voices that are available, these guys are few and far between. But there are some, and I’d love to introduce you to a few that belong on your radar:
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(Photo by Rob Reeves)
#1.) Bruce Sturgell
Bruce Sturgell is the founder of Chubstr- a website dedicated for plus-size men who are looking for fashion that fits. When I met him last year, we had an amazing conversation about how fashion is a safe entry into the world of body postivity; that even those who don’t feel comfortable talking about body image issues can find support in the fashion community. He’s a peach. Follow him on Twitter here and like Chubstrs Facebook while you’re at it.

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#2.) Andrew Walen
Andrew Walen works at The Body Image Therapy Center and is an incredible source of information when it comes to men and eating disorders. He blogs here!

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#3.) William Beave Brooks
William is a “personal shopper and stylist for the Big Guy.” He has a line called BeBow Fashions and posts the most amazing outfit photos with his daughter. And when they get negative reactions, he’s not afraid to talk some body autonomy with the internet.

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#4.) Aaron Flores
I met Aaron this year and was able to attend his hilarious and informative presentation that combined his experiences as a fat nutritionist, intuitive eating, and Star Wars. Yes, you read that correctly. Visit him here.

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#5.) Michael-Anthony Spearman 
A Detroit gentleman inspiring gentlemen of all sizes. As Bruce mentions, fashion is a “safe” way for men to gain visibility and work on issues around body image. This guy has style in spades. Check out his Instagram here!


#6.) Kelvin Davis 
Kelvin writes my favorite male fashion blog ever called Notoriously Dapper. I found him through Instagram because of his #EffYourBeautyStandards hashtags which made me incredibly happy! His sexy Instagram is here.

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#7.) Matt Diaz
Matt became a well known body image activist after posting an amazingly vulnerable shirtless video of his body after losing a large amount of weight. He’s a prominent male voice that is equal parts cheerfulness and “fuck you haters”. I always appreciate those people. Follow his Instagram I COMMAND YOU.

And while you’re here, check out this Body Positivity For Guys Tumblr: it’s a  “body positivity blog specifically for all of us male-identified, masculine-bodied, and/or masculine-presenting people of Tumblr.”

Do you have any inspirational male role models to add to the list? Leave them in the comments below!
This piece was first published on Ravishly, which is amazing.

*Important note: there is a lot of important discussion in communities around the use of "men" and who that includes, if the term is necessary, etc. 100% valid. I chose to use "men" as a term for cisgender men in this particular title for those who may not understand and then clarified in the article. This is in no way meant to exclude or invalidate anyone's identity; simply to bring to light the lack of cis males in this movement. Watch for an upcoming post on trans activists to follow in the body positive movement!!!