25 Things Fat People Shouldn't Do is an unabashed middle finger to the preposterous idea that any human who weighs more than the status quo does not deserve to live a full and well rounded (ahem) life. The list of 25 is composed word for word from direct lists of sheer assholery found on the internet. These range from the absurd to the profoundly shameful, and I will be disproving this offensive notion with style. Feel free to join in on the fun, and if you do, link at the bottom so I can share. May the Chub Club live long and prosper!
It's not that I believe that there is ever an intelligent theory behind the items on this list (I mean, we're obviously not dealing with highly evolved human beings here), but this particular one I truly can't figure out. Fat people shouldn't wear glitter because... we wear excess fabric and you're afraid the reflection will sear a hole in a retina or two?
Guys, I know that seems silly but I'm trying to give them the benefit of the doubt that there is a somewhat legitimate concern to back up this ridiculous "Shouldn't". Well, anyways, I've never personally been blinded by any amount of glitter, so I'll just put that out there and you can do with it what you will. Shit, when I was a rebellious 6 year old I stared at the sun just because I wasn't supposed to, and I still aint got no burnt eyeballs. Can't imagine glitter out shining the sun, but what do I know?
I've been feeling pretty boss lately so I ditched the shirt idea and wore my glittertastic dress around Manhattan. I received multiple compliments, and witnessed zero clutching of eyeballs accompanied by screams of pain. I think I'll keep the glitter thank you, and I'll take yours if you don't want it!
Wanna join in? Grab some glittery garb and then write about it. I wanna know if you incinerate anyone, so don't forget to link up at the bottom of this post! The full list is here. Now go show them who's boss.