I'M PROUD OF MY SIZE: THE SEXY FATKINI


BREAKING NEWS: I am a TOTAL babe.

This past weekend the "perfect beach body" ideal got the middle finger when this girl and her size 18 curves strutted her stuff in front of the Saturday afternoon crowds on Mission Beach.

Let me be honest with you... it was one of the hardest things I've ever done.

I have struggled with body image before I even knew there was a name for it, so to blatantly look society's expectations (and my past self-judgments) in the eye and tell them to fuck off took a lot of guts that I really didn't know I had. The funny thing is though, I've never felt sexier in my life.

This exercise of self confidence solidified my conviction in myself and my beauty.
I don't know how to put it into words, but I left that beach knowing that this was just the beginning of a life filled with body love. And I knew it was here to stay.


You might consider doing the same thing, and linking it back to Rachele.
Totally worth it.

41 comments

  1. woah, you look awesome! i love the bikini!

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  2. YOU.ARE.AMAZING!!! You look like a complete pinup girl foxy diva. YES!!! Wear that bikini every day everywhere. :)

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  3. You look so great! Where did you get that bikini top? I can never find ones that my boobs don't fall out of.. And I am damn sick of wearing t-shirts swimming.

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    1. You're not going to believe this... Walmart. Yes, I said it. For years I never stepped foot in one, but it turns out they have plus size basics all the way up to 3X.

      Try looking in the plus lingerie section for streamlined bras too... most will work as a swim top, AND most importantly they will have underwiring...

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    2. This is a great tip! I was going to ask the same question. My ladies are out of control. :P
      I love these picture girl. :)

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  4. Great photos and great attitude!

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  5. You look so gorgeous!

    Becky
    xx

    http://www.beckybedbug.com

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  6. You are a babe! You look so amazing, you can just see the confidence in your face. :)

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  7. you rocked that shiz!
    i love the under the pier pictures :).

    xo,
    aubrey
    myhighnoon.blogspot.com

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    1. Me too... I love them so much that I wanted to post them first but forced myself to start with the basic beach ones instead... y'know, saving the best for last:)

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  8. Looking damn fine! I keep seeing so many awesome fatkini pictures from the northern hemisphere's summer lately, hanging out for warmer weather to finally reach me down here so I can rock one too!

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  9. fucking beautiful!! I have a major crush now. <3

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  10. Ladies, I fucking love you back. Thanks for all the sweet words of validation that sexy is not a size, but a state of being!

    I got two facebook replies that touched my (sexxxy) heart, and I wanted to share them:

    "I LOOOOOVE this Jess! You're such a babe! I have to say i've come a long way from my 18 year-old self of ridiculous insecurities. I wouldn't even wear dresses or low cut shirts because i was so embarrassed about my body! But I have sweet le...gs and awesome tits, so WHY WOULD I HIDE THEM!? I probably weigh more now than i ever have, BUT i have never been happier in my skin. Of course I have plenty of insecurities still, but for the most part, wearing whatever the hell I want has been such a liberating thing for me. And yes, nothing makes you feel more sexy than when you're strutting in some sweet threads. ♥" -R

    "i am SO proud of you. you are an absolute inspiration. i've ranged from a size 20 to a size 12 all my life, and always suffered from image issues and self loathing at all those sizes. it's a total inspiration to see you have the balls to do... this, and to see how effing hot you look while doing it! you are absolutely gorgeous! just a big thank you from one sexy plus size girl to another! i know society gives us every reason to not be happy with how we look, but DAMN! look at you! you are, most certainly, giving that ideal the middle finger (and a very sexy middle finger, at that!)! maybe it's time for me to get a bikini.... :-D" -A

    xoxoxo

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  11. Holy babe alert! Oh that fifth picture is perfection!!!! You look amazing in that darling black number Love!

    xoxo Jessa

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    1. !!!! Thanks Jessa... the fifth one is my favorite too. While I was taking it, I was thinking... "god, this is gonna be good." :)

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  12. dang gurl! you look so great! and horray for being brave enough to do it! i HATE my bathing suit, and it makes me feel terrible (because i picked the first one that fit because i was TIRED of trying them on!) i need to get a cute one and strut my stuff!

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  13. Breaking news? Girl I already knew you were a sexy babe!!! And you look FABULOUS in that bikini ;D

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  14. You're such a babe! :D Bathing suits are generally terrifying but you totally rock it!

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  15. I saw you back on Rachele's blog and I immediatly knew I had to come here! You girls are both so inspiring! I have struggled with my body image for years and I think it's amazing we all accept ourselves as we are and love who we are! you look fabulous :)

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  16. You look amazing dear, wish I had that courage but I'm working on it though!

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  17. Your confidence is stunning and your body is KICKIN'! Definitely gives me confidence to rock my own bikini on the beach, so thank you! :D

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  18. You look fantastic, kudos for your confidence!
    You rock!

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  19. Rock on, Mama! You are sexy, lady!

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  20. I wish I'd thought to do that...growing up in San Diego, I've never felt like I could ever wear a bikini...even in private. Like they're this mystical enchanted thing that only the svelte and flat-tummied can have. I think I need to read your blog more, because clearly you cut through that B.S. with a flaming sword. Thank you.

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  21. Alexandria

    Ugh, I would love to be able to wear a bikini! The interesting thing for me is how my self image and the way I wear myself has changed with meeting my husband.

    I had some pretty awesome body image breakthroughs in college. I never considered myself horrid or ugly or anything, just that I had to be CAREFUL with my fat so I didn't look TOO FAT, and I avoided things that pointed out my fatness. I am not sure why at this point, but I just suddenly didn't buy into that bullshit anymore. I think I was looking for some clothes and always had this perspective of "big women can't wear that" for certain styles, like extra long shirts. I was a size 22 (I'm between 24 and 26 now), and I told myself that a fat woman is never going to look like a thin woman. AND THAT'S OK. So I started scouring the internet, looking for pictures of gorgeous, sexy, big women, and I kept them all on my computer and looked at them every day. I was training myself to expect to see what a curvy woman looks like, not a thin one. I took a picture of myself, top half naked, ending just above my nipples, and I made it my wallpaper. I looked so hot. My friends, including fat friends, asked me about it, and I wrote an essay, posted it on facebook, and was really happy.

    The thing is, after that I met my husband. He is a wonderful, amazing man, but he has some serious self-image issues. We both gained like 40 pounds after we met, and for me it was like, meh, I can't move as well now and I get winded easier and my clothes don't fit and that sucks. But he because very self conscious, wanted to avoid being in public at all costs, and gets very down on himself. He says sometimes that he hates himself. The only thing I can do about this is help him lose weight sadly, because he just can't see it my way.

    But anyway, his perspective on fat has skewed how he sees my fat. I never try to be sexy anymore because it just won't work with him. It's not that he isn't attracted to me. That would be a crisis. He would just be MORE attracted to me if I was back to where I was when we met, or thinner. He likes "thick" women, so he doesn't want me skinny, just smaller than I am now. It is not something he bothers me about, don't get me wrong. But it affects the way I see myself sometimes. Like I always wear spandex shorts under skirts to avoid chub rub. One day we came home from somewhere and I took my skirt off, leaving me in short black spandex shorts and knee-high corset back boots, and I think I made some comment about feeling awesome or something, and he made some comment that it would look really good if I lost weight..... That is not the way my mind works. I don't go out in stuff like that because it's just not my personality, but damn it, if I wanted to, I would, who cares about my size?

    I just think it's interesting how someone else's fat perspective can mess with mine. I don't love every inch of myself every second of the day, but I'm pretty good looking, if I do say so myself. I have great legs, sexy feet, great boobs, a cute face, and a big tummy. 1+1+1+1+0 ≠ 0. And really, my big tummy isn't even a zero! It's kind of cute. Kind of annoying, but even my husband likes to rub it like a soft puppy! He says it's cute!

    But wrapping it up here (lol), I have always wanted to wear a bikini, I just don't know if my husband would want me to call that much attention to his fat, you know?

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  22. Question- how did you find a strapless top that doesn't just slip off? I've yet to find any that feel like they'll stay on- is it a special type? Or perhaps we just have different comfort expectations for the top half.

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  23. I love your courage! Just the thought of doing that rattles my nerves! But you know what? I'm gonna try it this summer - just for fun! My boyfriend loves taking pictures. This will be a test of courage and self love for sure! I will post them here when I do it. Thank you! Karina

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  24. I love your pictures. But please stop calling yourself fat! Not to disguise, not lie to yourself, but because the word, oh the word is so powerful and meaningful. even if you are loving your shape, you deserve to be described by yourself for other than your shape. I love your blog and what you are doing for yourself and for others.

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  25. Wow, you are BEAUTIFUL. I'm a size 12 I think (maybe).. 5'8.5" and 147 lbs currently. Ever since seventh grade (when I weighed more for my height than I do now), I've been embarrassed of my weight. I always have my stomach sucked in, always wear looser clothes in the stomach if I'll be sitting down more than standing, don't wear things that show my thighs, wear padded bras so people don't see my lack of chest (I swear I'm a double A). But looking at your pictures, you are just SO BEAUTIFUL. It makes me think that if I couldly actually just carry myself with confidence and love for myself, I could have the beauty shine through that you have. Because honestly, you look so hot in so many of these photos .. I want to start seeing myself like that too, no matter what the scale says!

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  26. you look AWESOME and gorgeous! Thank you for being you.

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  27. thank you.thank you.thank you.seriously girl,thank you!next time i go to water aerobics im gonna slip into my lane bryant size 18 bikini and wear it in public for the first time,no longer just in the privacy of my own back yard.i love you.thank you from all the fat tattooed book reading cat loving women.thank you.and yes i have tears in my eyes.not from sorrow but from the joy i felt when i saw your smiling face and rocking curvy bod in the pics!thank you.thank you.thank you.you inspire me.and did i mention?thank you!

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  28. Looking fabulous and confident! Marry me?

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  29. You are seriously my hero! I've been avidly shuffling through your blog all day, but this post takes the cake. You're fucking beautiful and not afraid to show it! I cannot tell you how much this is impacting me right now. I've been preaching body love to my friends for years now, but I still have a long way to go. You are such an inspiration and have immediately shot to the top of my "role models" list.

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  30. Awesome pics! I own a bikini...and I wear it...in my back yard with the kiddos. I've had 2 c-sections & my size has never bothered me...but the hanging it all out there...I'm not THAT comfortable, & I know I never will be...but kudos to you for being able to!

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  31. Not to be weird, but I kind of cried as I read this post. You absolutely ARE beautiful. I've been bitterly fighting my body since I was eight years old, so to see that a plus-sized woman can be positively gorgeous... it's relief. It kind of gives me permission to think of myself as beautiful, too. Thank you. :)

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