25 Things Fat People Shouldn't Do is an unabashed middle finger to the preposterous idea that any human who weighs more than the status quo does not deserve to live a full and well rounded (ahem) life. The list of 25 is composed word for word from direct lists of sheer assholery found on the internet. These range from the absurd to the profoundly shameful, and I will be disproving this offensive notion with style. Feel free to join in on the fun, and if you do, link at the bottom so I can share. May the Chub Club live long and prosper!

Confession: I suck at boob shimmies. Legitimately suck. Ass shimmies? That I can do. But when faced with needing to tackle boob shimmies for this post, I decided it was probably best to bring in a professional, and so bring in a professional I did. Welcome Miss Pearl Necklace!

I actually had the pleasure of meeting this gal a little while ago at a runway addition. Sweet, gorgeous, and all around amazing. Plus, THAT NAME. Amiright? She made a "how to" video just for us and I'm honored to host it here. She makes it seem super easy, but I definitely needed the instructions. Pretty badly.

Classy broad, man. I attempted to shimmy video style, but it just ended up drastically inappropriate. Though I did get kind of a rhythm going in the end. Y'know, in the end where the shimmy was two inches away from the camera. Oh my god it's pretty brutal... I'm warning you; the shaking of boobs gets pretty out of control. This was probably enhanced by the fact that I'm listening to Rihanna of all people. I don't think I even know what classy means.


So, that shirt is from my gal pal Louise Green and on the back says "Love your body." I kind of adore it and it allows the girls to shake just enough. You can order one if you email Louise at mytshirtmission@gmail.com.

Wanna join in? Shimmy your heart out. Practice, take pictures or video record it. Whichever. Share what you loved or hated about the experience and don't forget to link up at the bottom of this post! Good luck!

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