It's been SO LONG since we've had a "I Wear What I Want" post! Painfully long... six months if we're gonna be honest. BUT I just got a brand new lens for my sexy ass camera and we're gonna celebrate with an outfit post, you lucky son of a gun.

OH. And I have a new tattoo.
Which is definitely lens worthy.
We'll talk about that too.

I Wear What I Want posts started a year and a half ago when I wrote this:

"I have stayed away from outfit posts for the most part because I really couldn't give a fuck less about clothes on their own merit. However, recently I have started to discover the hidden power behind purchasing and wearing items that have been off limit to me my entire life. Things I've longed to wear, but wouldn't allow myself to. Because it would accentuate my underarms. Because it would show too much thigh. Because someone would be able to see my scandalous cleavage.  Because it's too loud. Because it's too masculine. Because it's a drop waist. Because it's ugly. Because it's tight. Because it's loose. Because it's metallic. Because of all the wrong reasons.

Clothing has started to embolden me. It has started to empower me; more power than "Holyshityoulookgreat". It's starting to become a statement. It's starting to become a way that I say what I want, when I want, for no one save me. And THIS, I feel, is worth blogging about.

Know this: what I wear in these posts will not be radical for most, but it is for me."

And there you have it. I had a list of style items I'd always wanted to wear but didn't for all the wrong reasons. So, based purely on selfish rebellion, I championed through many of them via blog posts: strappy sandals crop tops, sleeveless dresses, vinyl mini skirts, swimsuits, not business casual, AND short hair. Yes, I was told short hair was off limits but GUESS WHAT THAT WAS A LIE. As was everything else.

I began to see fatshion (or plus clothing) as a powerful political statement. An act of empowerment and resistance. Being visible and confident in what I wanted to wear was something I never did before and now I find myself wearing what I please, just because.

Today? Today I made maxi skirts my bitch.

It's SO weird when we feel that something looks inherently "unflattering" on us. For me, I never strayed into skirt lengths below my knee. I, somewhere along the line, decided that any hem below the knee made me look stumpy, squashed, and very UN-sexy. So I stuck to the short fit and flare... until this summer.

Maxi skirts are everywhere, and so when I came across one in town, I thought "Why the fuck not?" And now I'm in love. They're breezy, comfortable, and so easy to go commando in. Perks guys. They have perks.

So this time, my rebellious clothing choice wasn't to show skin I was embarrassed about, but rather to feel comfortable enough to cover more of me than usual. Like I said, not radical for most... but it is for me.

You can find the actual skirt I'm wearing here but truth be told, I thrifted it for $3. I'm a lucky bitch, I know. To make it up to you, I put together some kick ass black and white plus size maxis for you!

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I'm glad you reminded me!

I finally finished a piece on Friday that is one of my most meaningful; something I wanted to paint for years, but decided that it should only exist in one place...  and that place should probably be permanently on my arm.

A brain (yes, a brain) surrounded by hydrangeas with the text "Best Friend. Worst Enemy." My mental health homage and a reminder of just how complex my mind can be.

My brain is fucking brilliant, y'all. It's visionary. Creative. Intelligent. Compassionate. Empathetic. Clever. Innovative. Dedicated. Courageous. And it's resilient.

But it's also wounded. Vulnerable. Disconnected. Easily triggered. Prone to sabotage, and sometimes completely uncontrollable.

I have learned that both parts are necessary; that it wouldn't be as resilient/courageous/innovative with out the opposite challenges. That my difficulties are what have honed my strengths. There are still days that I can barely hold it together, and this tattoo serves as a reminder that the downs are absolutely necessary for the ups. And that the ups are fucking amazing.

"You can never know the good if you never know the bad" was a song I learned when I was a child. And my brain has experienced so much bad that the good is simply blissful. And it IS resilient, so much so that it takes these dingy bad days and spins them into gold. Gold that I can share with the rest of the world.

My brain is my worst enemy, no doubt. But it's also my dedicated advocate, genius work partner, annoyingly peppy cheerleader and absolute best friend

I rocked that maxi skirt (and tattoo) all Sunday afternoon. I flaunted ankles and arms while eating chard/peach wraps from Cafe Passe, drinking beer and orange juice, foot tapping to live music, and enjoying the company of so many good people in Tucson.

All that AND I was complimented on my outfit to boot. TAKE THAT FASHION DON'TS!

What is something you've yet to wear because you "shouldn't"?
And are you gonna wear it?


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