I WEAR WHAT I WANT (PERIOD): BATMAN HOODIES




We've all heard the fat (ahem, plus size) rule about avoiding horizontal stripes... About wearing black because it's slimming. About wearing flared pants instead of tapered so we look "proportional". About avoiding small patterns so we don't look like furniture. But don't wear giant print because you'll overwhelm the viewer. Don't wear halters. Don't wear sleeveless. Don't wear chunky jewelry. Don't wear texture. Don't wear shiny fabric. Don't wear spandex. Don't wear baggy clothes. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't.

But "LOVE yourself", they say. "Play to your strengths!". Fuck you is what I say. Fuck you and your rules that have nothing to do with me. I refuse to engage in your game. I don't dress for you. I don't dress for him. I most certainly don't dress to hide my "flaws" because in my opinion,  I don't have any. And I know you want to argue this honey, but unfortunately your opinion doesn't count.

I have been bending over backwards to follow these ubiquitous guidelines. The list of things "I wore but hated" is miles long. The list of things "I didn't wear that I loved" is even longer still. All so I would look "better". Like, as long as I wore this dress they wouldn't know I was fat. But if I wore the other... they would be able to tell. Who, exactly, did I  think I was fooling?

 Its taken me 26 years to get to the place where I think twice before passing over something I love because I'm afraid it will be "unflattering". I think it was Lesley that spoke to the hate behind the word "unflattering". How its a passive aggressive term we use to tell someone else they look terrible. We blame the issue on the garment, but our message is personal to the wearer. Its the same concept when we use it against ourselves, which is why the consensus is to fuck flattering all together.

I have stayed away from outfit posts for the most part because I really couldn't give a fuck less about clothes on their own merit. This leads me to believe that others feel the same way. However, recently I have started to discover the hidden power behind purchasing and wearing items that have been off limit to me my entire life. Things I've longed to wear, but wouldn't allow myself to. Because it would accentuate my underarms. Because it would show too much thigh. Because someone would be able to see my scandalous cleavage.  Because it's too loud. Because it's too masculine. Because it's a drop waist. Because it's ugly. Because it's tight. Because it's loose. Because it's metallic. Because of all the wrong reasons.

Clothing has started to embolden me. It has started to empower me; more power than "Holyshityoulookgreat". It's starting to become a statement. It's starting to become a way that I say what I want, when I want, for no one save me. And THIS, I feel, is worth blogging about.

But know this: what I wear in these posts will not be radical for most, but it is for me.


Like today: I went to my usual weekend meetings at my favorite coffee shop in a Batman hoodie. Not extreme for most, but for me it felt glorious. I suppressed my knee jerk reaction to dress up and rolled out of bed into this instead. It was masculine and shapeless on top and I felt nerdy, and sexy, and comfortable all at the same time. It was wonderful! Oh, and it has a fucking Batman mask for a hood... ears and all. Look me in the eye and tell me its not amazing.


Because I work in a kitchen, I don't dress up as often as I used to... so I usually jump at the chance to get creative on the weekends. While I love a shiny dress, I also love a graphic sweater and today was made for the latter. And you know what else? I accomplished  a lot this morning in my outfit. I secured the perfect venue for my upcoming art show, took gifts to the post office, met with a favorite friend, designed a page, enjoyed breakfast, and more. Superhero stuff for sure.

Ladies (and gents), I hope you wear whatever you love. Ignore the rules, ignore the shoulds, ignore the should nots, and embrace what you deem perfect. This simple action is packed with more empowerment than you would believe. "I hate wearing things I love!" said no one ever.

And just so you have something to look forward to, I'll let you know that I'll be wearing a gold skirt, pink tutu, and NYE outfit in the near future. Gold and tulle forever.


30 comments

  1. Ok, that Batman hoodie is the most amazing thing I have ever seen. Screw the rules! I need a hoodie with a bat mask for a hood!

    Becky
    xx

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    1. RIGHT!?!? I love it and everyone should have one!

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  2. You are epic! I just found your blog today and I can already tell I'm going to enjoy following you. Yay for feminism and positivity! And cats (:

    BB

    http://threeinchstitch.blogspot.com

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  3. That sweatshirt is so bad ass it wouldn't look bad on anyone!

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    1. Batman rocks it hardest, but I'm a close second.

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  4. Not only is your sweatshirt FANTASTIC! But also, what a great post. There are some things I just don't *like* wearing, but I love horizontal stripes, even though it makes my chest look bigger than my head sometimes. Whatev,

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    1. Its so hard to break the rules, but once we start its hard to stop :)

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  5. Ah! you look ready to kick some serious ass in that jacket :D

    I've remembered my hatred of the word "unflattering" with this post and will have to keep that in mind next time I get some cash to spend on clothes.

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    1. Right? We dont even blink an eye when we say it, but its really twisted <3

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  6. I love this, you're so inspiring to me. I can't even put it in words. And that Batman hoodie is just amazing! I think I'll search for one too now. :D

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    1. Sari, thank you so much. There are so many women who inspire me and I couldn't do this without them! Hooray for sharing self love <3

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  7. You have a Batman hoodie. You are my hero.
    Bottom line is you have to be comfortable enough in what you're wearing to project that confidence. I've moderated panels at conventions about "fluffy gals" costuming, and we always come back to the basics: color-blocking (which the batbelt does), false silhouettes (via color or shading), black, and having some shape to the garment are the most flattering things for ANY size of woman. But self-confidence and the smile to prove it are the things that will make a size 28 woman catch the eye and interest of every hot-blooded human in the room.

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    1. I saw it and initially thought it would be perfect for my boyfriend... but it was too small. Oh well, WIN for ME!

      And I totally agree! I would love to hear more about these panels!

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  8. With that first paragraph, it's like "Well, what the hell AM I supposed to wear?"

    And Batman, totally bitchin' ;D

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    1. RIGHT!?! I was researching "what plus women shouldn't wear" and the lists just went on and on and ON! Fuck that <3

      But then, I never did do well with people telling me what to do...

      :)

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  9. I've been breaking more and more stripe rules lately, and loving it. I loved wearing horizontal stripes as a kid, and my parents made fun of me for it as a teen, so I stopped. Lately, I've even worn polka dots with stripes! I'm a rebel and you can't even stop me.

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    1. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

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  10. I just discovered your blog and have been reading it for the past 30 mins, I love love love it! (and I freakin love this hoody too!)

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  11. You look amazing - and I think the batman hoodie suits you. Maybe because you are a super hero?

    Anyway, your blog is lovely - keep speaking the truth, sistah!

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  12. Hee! I love this outfit on you. In regards to all the rules, I think this outfit actually accentuates the positively fabulous curves you rock!

    I get in moods where I really feel cuddly like a teddy bear and wanted to have ears and a tail and furry bits. So. I bought an inexpensive crocheted hat and sewed 'ears' onto it and added furry yarn trim. My partner bought me a fabulous furry fleece for Christmas and I found arm and leg warmers that match. I wear that out often and it never fails to put me in a good mood.

    Kids stare at me, then smile, and women of all ages stare at me and frown, with that puckered up, prudish, "I disapprove" mouth that really only gives them wrinkles. When I get those looks I just beam happy smiles at them, because I feel GREAT and they are just miserable.

    I still work on ignoring the 'flattering fit' rules and wearing what makes me feel great. I think this summer I will be going sleeveless a little more often. Thanks for being and spreading your wonderful self!

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  13. Think you look absolutely fab, and yes, I'm insanely jealous of your batman hoodie! You look great!
    You have also inspired me to start wearing more things that a) I wouldn't normally. b) I was worried about wearing because of what people thought. c) I'm sure there was a third, but it can't have been that important!
    First stop, Asda (or Wal*Mart as it's known across the pond!) for a pair of short-shorts that I tried on a few weeks ago, and was too 'concerned' to buy!

    This blog is a great inspiration for all shapes and sizes!
    All my love,
    ST!

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  14. Aw nice, i literally just had this revelation last week. I like to shop at thrift stores and there are just some "unflattering" pieces that I'd never pick up until...well, until I realized i can wear whatever I want and that making myself happy with kitschy clothes was going to go farther to alleviate my anxiety than trying to fit in with the unspoken rules of being fat.

    I've spent all my free time in poofy skirts and tshirts ever since and i <3 it. Rock on!

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  15. Holy Fuckshit Batman, you are amazing!!!

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  16. Reading this article has given me such a confident boost, so thank you so much for that! With the upcoming bikini and shorts weather, I have so stressed at the thought of exposing more skin than usual and looking huge compared to all my fit friends. But seeing you wear whatever you want with confidence is so inspirational, and it makes me wonder why I shouldn't be able to do the same!

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  17. I NEED THAT HOODIE IN MY LIFE!

    Fuck the "fatshion" rulebook! I wear what I want and LOVE it.
    (Though my work gets annoyed showing off my tattoos - which we know is another massive taboo in itself!)

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