(Because skinny people are people too!)

I love how body positivity is starting to be talked about more and more! I'm watching it spread like wildfire and I've never been so happy to watch something buuuuuurn! But there are a few blemishes in this otherwise beautiful movement, and one in particular rubs me the wrong way: the ugly practice of "Skinny Shaming".

Because our society refuses to positively acknowledge fat bodies, we associate the term "body positive" with rolls, bellies, and arm flab. We have started filling the world with verbal and visual conversations about these things and that, my friends, is kick ass! We must counteract the negativity that we are fed daily and so I say: YES TO PRO-FAT! Yes yes yes!

But do not confuse pro-fat with anti-skinny.

This synonymous mistake pops up everywhere whether its in movies called "Real Women Have Curves" or in comments that say "Bones are for the dog, meat is for the man". Since when did this form of body hate become a necessary stepping stone to someone else's self love? Here is a reality check: we are all in this together. None of us are allowed to love our body in this society, and thanks to that we all have our insecurities. We all feel like we're flawed in some way because we are all comparing ourselves to the same ideal. And that ideal doesn't exist. Never has. Never will.

Skinny people are also the target of encouraged bullying; bullying that is surprising similar to the kind that us fatties know all too well. Ever heard these?

1. "You look anorexic!"
2. "You're so thin, you make me sick."
3. "Eat a hamburger!"
4. "You look like a toothpick."
5. "You're probably too skinny to breastfeed."
6. "Do you ever eat anything?"
7. "Must be nice to be so thin."
8. "Do you have an eating disorder?"
9. "You'd look so much better if you'd just put some meat on your bones."
10. "You're too healthy."
11. "How can you be insecure when you're so small?"
12. "You know, my other friend just got help for her bulimia."
13. "You're so skinny, I hate you."
14. "Do you need help?"
15. "You're skinny. You never have to worry about what you eat.
16. "'Real' women have curves."
17. "Why do you need to work out? You're skinny!"
18. "How much did it cost to get your body like that?"
19. "Of course you're cold! You have no fat on you."
20. "I wish I had your problem."
21. "Be careful or you'll get blown away." (On rainy or windy days.)
22. "You look like a boy."

(Hug 'em, don't slug 'em!)

Just as we know that you can't determine a fat persons health from a glance, you also can't determine someone's health by their lack of fat. Allow me to make the "Are They Healthy?" guessing game easy for you; the answer is... it doesn't matter. Maybe they're thin because of genetics, or maybe they're thin because they work out 14 times a week. Say it with me: it doesn't matter. Emma Wolf wrote an article called "Why is Skinny-shaming OK, if Fat-shaming Isn't?" and while I (only) agree with the title she also says this:

"I have never been fat, but I know exactly what it is like to be judged for my size and hear unkind comments about my appearance. We need to shift the weight debate to health, rather than looks."

To which I say: lets get rid of the fucking health and weight debate all together. Why are we so obsessively concerned with what someone else eats? Why are we attaching morality to food? Why are we so judgmental about another person's outer shell? Why are we playing Sidewalk Doctor with strangers? Why are we pitting ourselves against each other instead of supporting each woman on her quest towards self love?

The answer is this: w
e see something "supposedly enviable" in another woman and we then cope with our perceived failure by projecting our self hatred onto them for being so "successful". Please tell me where the positive outcome is in all of this. Can you find it? Because I certainly can't. The reality is that being fat is hard; really really hard. It's uber stigmatized and we aint got no one in our corner. But to put the blame on those that are thin is misguided. It is not the individuals fault that we learn to hate ourselves... it's the system that we live in. We must change the system together if we're ever gonna get outta this mess; we have to find equality all the way around. Comparison is a bitch, and it's a selfish bitch at that. Comparison doesn't do anyone any favors, most certainly not the person measuring their physical worth against others.

Self love is a process for one person, and one person only: you. Our value is not determined by the size of another whether it be smaller or larger. By making someone else a "Body Villain" we are actively undoing all of the fat positive work that preceded it. Any body judgement is backwards progression and I say we ditch it. Lets ditch it all together. Body positive is all inclusive; LOVE ALL OF THE BODIEZ.

Ya with me?

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