SO YOU WANNA PUT ME IN A BOX?



Alright, that's cool. I can dig it.  As long as I get to choose what boxes though... aaaaand I'll define them myself thank you very much.


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The Humanist Box: "Being a Humanist means trying to behave decently without expectation of rewards or punishment after you are dead." - Kurt Vonnegut. I believe in being my definition of "decent" which is pretty high-minded if I do say so myself.

The Tattooed Lady Box: I've got a lot, and I'm getting more. I don't regret them, I won't regret them, they represent a part of me and therefore are a part of me. How will I look when I'm old? Like a fucking fox, duh.

The Egalitarian Box: All people are equal regardless of race, economics, gender, or age. Opportunity is not equal in today's world, but it sure as hell should be. I'm working on that.

The Atheist Box: The majority of the world has an inaccurate concept of what an atheist is. When broken down, it translates into "anti" and "theist". Literally a rejection of the belief in gods; a refusal of belief in deities and nothing more. I like identifying as a Humanist because I like using positive descriptions of what I believe in instead of what I do not, but nevertheless I like this box.

The Pro-Choice Box: I will not rant for hours, though I could. I believe in multiple reasons for pregnancy, wise family choices, and the right to make decision in your own life. Body included.

The Radical Activist Box: Leslie Kinzel wrote "Liberal feminists are asking for their share of the pie, a piece as big as anyone else's. However, radical feminists are asking for a different pie altogether. Liberal activism (i.e. "We're just like you!" activism) tends to be a conversation about assimilation and tolerance, and about being given a place at the table. Radical activism sees the existing system as broken and unsalvageable, and attempts to subvert, if not destroy, the system all together".  For the longest time, I considered myself a liberal activist... until I realized that our reality is fucked on a fundamental level. Does this quest for something completely outside society as we know it mean that I might be isolated with the few that agree with me? Absolutely. But I'll have the best goddamn company around.

The Feminist Box: I love men. I prefer toast for breakfast instead of babies. I think lesbians are rad, but I do not identify as one. Shocked? Thought so. I still love this article that Liora wrote about the actual definition of a Feminist. Anything I say here will dissipate in the shadow of her post, so just read it mmkkay?

The Pro-Sex Box: Sex can make babies, which is the most miraculous thing ever. Sex can also strengthens relationships. Sex can also be fun. Sex isn't shameful, but the more we treat it as such and silence it's true education the more it becomes a harmful and poisonous substance. It's very much a positive thing and should be viewed as such.

The Borderline Personality Disorder Box: I have a brain disease and I am not ashamed. It is comprised of neurological makeup and life experiences. I cope with and work on it every day and having this "defect" allows me to more effectively help those that I work with.

The Crazy Cat Lady Box: So, by social definition, anyone who has a mental illness is "crazy". Here I am, ta-da! I also love my kitties; I missed them as much as I missed my Him last week. Aaaaand I'm a lady. Not "lady like" or whatever, but I'm a lady. I talk to my cats like they are gooey babies and I feel no regret... BAM! Crazy cat lady. BAZINGA.

The Artist Box: I make things; all kinds of things. My brain is wired this way and I simply love it.

The Fat Box: I accept this and do not view it as a negative trait. My body is not bad because it is not on the "spectrum of beautiful". My body is marvelous and I write my own definitions of beauty.

The Body Acceptance Box: In addition to the above, I do NOT subscribe to the belief that fat women are beautiful and skinny women are sellouts. I believe that each woman has her own inherent beauty that is unquestionable. Every body is a perfect body, and this is a fact. 

The Conspiracy Theorist Box: They have made "conspiracy theorists" out to be lunatics. This is brilliant, because then we feel shame and embarrassment when we question the motives around us. A basic education in the history of civilization will outline the manipulations that we have experienced for a kajillion years. I'm smarter than that; I am proud to be an educated conspiracy theorist.

The Fucking Awesome Box: I just am. I will put myself in this box day after day. And if I don't feel like I belong in this box for some reason, I will force myself to sit in it until I believe that I do. You should make your own Fucking Awesome Box. Visit it as often as needed.


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So yeah, knock yourself out! If you really want to categorize me, I ain't got no problem with that. But don't you dare put me in your fucking binder. Kay?

18 comments

  1. I absolutely love this, you are amazing. This sentence especially "Every body is a perfect body, and this is a fact. "

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  2. Love this. Love you.

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  3. I fit into many of these boxes too <3 CROWDED BOXES.

    Alli xx

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  4. The Fucking Awesome Box is the best box on the planet! YEAH.

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  5. Jes, I know you've seen this, but I wanted to post it for everyone on your blog. It is amazing. It helped me feel better about myself today. xo

    http://www.upworthy.com/finally-pictures-of-gorgeous-women-that-make-you-feel-better-about-yourself-inst?g=3&c=bm1

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  6. you forgot a box: INSPIRATIONAL.
    you are an inspiration if there ever was one.

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  7. do you like dan bern? "...If you must put me in a box, make sure it's a big box. With lots of windows..." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDdAM9zBIbw

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  8. this is so goooood! do you kind of feel like all these boxes are inside of the first one though? either way— our boxes are almost identical ;-)

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  9. This is a great post - and those are some pretty rad boxes you've got going there. :)

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  10. P.S. Can we find a box big enough for two? I would like to join you there ;)

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  11. We're in a lot of the same boxes, minus that cat one because I'm deathly allergic but oh my GOD how I want a Russian blue. Looks like a lot of your friends are in these boxes, too. I'll bring the tea.

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  12. yes.yes.yes.yes.yes.yes.yes.yes.yes.YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  13. Beautiful, and so true!

    http://bethsquidly.blogspot.com/

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  14. Seriously, I just found you via a friend on fb reposting your "Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls....So I Will!" article. I have been reading through your favorite posts, and I have to say you have said so many things that have made me THINK! And I thank you for that! Thinking is one of the great gifts of the universe, and I relish anything that provokes it! In addition, thank you for not only making me think, but for making me rethink so many of my NEGATIVE feelings about myself, my mind, my body, my LIFE! This article has inspired me to make my own list of boxes rather than just accept the boxes others try to put me in. All your articles have inspired me to look into some of these myths I believe about the D word and to start redefining my own thoughts about my body. Thank you!

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  15. It is nice to know I am not alone. Everything you said applies to me, except the not being a card carrying lesbian, that I am, lol. I have BPD, and I am a survivor of horrific childhood trauma. I am also a psych major, mental health being the field I wish to work in. Being BPD gives one a greater understanding of what it means to suffer internally, it gives compassion, and a desire to help others not hurt this way. Everything I have read by you so far, has let me know there is someone else out there who is very much like me, and that it is ok to be me. I have days where I don't even want to get up, days that laughing hurts, and I just want to run away. Do you? The difference is that I get up anyway, laugh through the pain, and hold my ground...that is what makes the difference for me on those days...what makes the difference for you on those days?

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  16. Love it when ya bring thought to the surface.

    Oh, and I SO need to make a Fucking Awesome Box... that's brilliant!

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