All too often there is the pressure (no matter your body size) to lose weight before your wedding. THESE PICTURES WILL LAST FOREVER the concerned citizens whisper; as if the body your partner fell in love with isn't good enough. I ran across this Facebook post by Shannon a few days ago and was so overjoyed to read her bad-ass response to this cultural norm (this brilliance was typed on her phone, btw) that I asked to publish it here. Feeling the wedding pressure? Allow this rad chick to release you from that ridiculous bullshit.
I have spent the past year and a bit stumbling through and dealing with all the stress that comes with planning a wedding. As the date nears I find myself increasingly dealing with people’s views and opinions, as well as their misguided and/or misplaced tips and suggestions on what I could or should do to get my body ready for my wedding. Being faced with constant suggestions and scrutiny on my body has led me to lean even more on my hard worked for, lovingly constructed views on body, fat-positive thinking and living. I have to admit, I was not prepared for the onslaught of both outright and inadvertent body shaming that has come at me leading up to my wedding day. I want to clarify that I am not necessarily talking about friends or family, I am also talking about acquaintances and people I interact with regularly who know I am getting married.
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I have spent the past year and a bit stumbling through and dealing with all the stress that comes with planning a wedding. As the date nears I find myself increasingly dealing with people’s views and opinions, as well as their misguided and/or misplaced tips and suggestions on what I could or should do to get my body ready for my wedding. Being faced with constant suggestions and scrutiny on my body has led me to lean even more on my hard worked for, lovingly constructed views on body, fat-positive thinking and living. I have to admit, I was not prepared for the onslaught of both outright and inadvertent body shaming that has come at me leading up to my wedding day. I want to clarify that I am not necessarily talking about friends or family, I am also talking about acquaintances and people I interact with regularly who know I am getting married.
I exist in a society that, for the most part, refuses to believe that as a fat woman getting ready to be married I am not actively trying to alter my size or shape. A common theme among these comments is the pictures taken at my wedding that I and everyone else will look at forever. The pictures they say. People will look at those pictures. The pictures they say. The pictures last forever!!!! My response is that I hope in the future when looking at my photos it is not the size of my ass or hips you are staring at, but the pure love you see in my eyes and the eyes of my future wife.
Regardless of whether anyone believes it is possible, I assure you this body I inhabit- this body that carries me through my days- is absolutely fine the way it is. I do not pretend to love this body - I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS BODY. I am not wearing a shield of false body positivity to deflect an inner struggle with my size. I truly believe that every body, EVERY SINGLE BODY, should be treated as if it is perfect exactly the way it is. (Just a side note that I do not want to get into a perceived health-versus-size debate here)
I am very aware of how my body looks. I do not spend my days avoiding mirrors or my reflection; in fact, I like to catch a glimpse of myself in a store window and smile at the lovely looking lady reflected back at me. I do not need to be reminded that my wedding day is one of the biggest days of my life. Whether I stay at the size I am right now or miraculously lose half my body size, my wedding day will be one of the most important in my life – this fact is not lost on me.
Hundreds of pictures will be taken this and I look forward to seeing every single one of them. I look forward to seeing the ones that are filled with love, laughter, family and friends. I look forward to seeing the ones where the first thing I notice is the swell of my stomach under my gorgeous gold lace wedding gown. There will be pictures with my chubby arms and double chins on display and these pictures will be so filled with joy they will outshine any stretch mark or roll others’ eyes may be drawn to.
This body is the body that will carry me down the aisle on the arm of my mother, past family and friends, towards the love of my life. I can't fathom for a second wanting to change a single thing.
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