I WAS A SIDESHOW FAT LADY AND I'M NOT SURE HOW TO PROCESS IT


First of all, I love this picture's concept so hard.
Secondly, because its me... I have no idea how to process this.

Ramsey from Flash in the Past is one of the most talented Vintage Pin-Up photographers I've ever seen. During the summer she put a model call out for a Sideshow Starlete series and the second I saw that one of the roles was the Fat Lady... well, I had to have it. Ramsey emailed me to let me know that I had scored the position, but that I wasn't fat enough and would it be okay to photoshop extra weight on me for the series? Fuck yeah, its okay! I've never been too thin for a thing in my life and I was fascinated just thinking about what the final image would look like. I showed up the day of, put on the gorgeous royal blue dress and peach ballet slippers, had my hair curled by the beautiful Natasha Noir and looked somber for a few shots... after all, I was playing a sideshow freak. I couldn't have been terribly happy about it back then, right? And then voila! I was done and anticipated the prints with a ridiculous amount of excitement.

Honestly, I was expecting to see the image and then tell you guys how much I adored being the Fat Lady and how nothing strikes me as strange anymore and OHMYGOD everyone should be the Fat Lady etc. But, of course, life loves to throw complicated curve balls. Don't misunderstand what I'm saying though: if I detach myself from this personally, I looooove the body shape. It's soft, adorable, and reminds me a Cupie Doll which is basically the best thing ever. It's just that I have no idea how to wrap my brain around the fact that it's a projection of my body that's made to be bigger.

I suppose it's because my entire life, when I closed my eyes and imagined my body looking differently, I always saw myself becoming thinner. Smaller. What I would look like if I could just lose that weight. So to change my body in the opposite way? It's scandalous. It's not only counter-intuitive to what I've been practicing my whole life, but it seemingly sinful. Wicked, tasteless, and disgraceful. Make me fatter? What a bizarre concept!

I kind of love the fact that the image leaves me flummoxed.
It's so unexpected and I would have to say: it's a refreshingly complex idea to ponder.

What. A. Mindfuck. 
It's going to be so much fun to mentally unravel this within the next few weeks.

But enough about me! There were many other Sideshow acts that were perfectly executed!



You can view the entire series here (with fabulous carnival music to boot!)

I'm over the moon that Katy played The Human Skeleton which was created just for her after we found a photo of these two side by side:


It was just too perfect to pass up, especially since Katy and I consider each other to be opposite twins.
Wanna see my favorite original Fat Lady images from days gone by? Happy to oblige:


Oh! And if you wanted to own a copy of the entire "program" with me included inside you can here! It's kind of kick ass that Katy and I are on the same spread. I can't imagine it being any other way.

Ultimately, I'm thrilled to add this to my life resume. I love pushing boundaries, both societal and personal- which this does and did! Fuck yeah Fat Ladies! May we live, dance, and remain a glorious spectacle that inspires awe and wonder forever!

If you were to see a picture of yourself realistically photoshopped with an extra 100 pounds... what would you think? What would your response be? Would you love it or hate it? Would you adjust or fight it? Do share...

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