I don't have very much to contribute to the world lately. Its probably from a combination of engrossing novels, missing meds, financial stress, an overabundance of photo shoots, fighting bigotry, and probably the most likely reason is from having to restructure my world from the inside out; figuring out where the truth ends and the lies begin... or vice versa. Y'know, the typical life stuff. So my brain may be full, but I have no words.
Whenever I am at a loss I usually just turn to my best friend Kari. Not only is she gorgeous and wise, but she has a magical talent of taking gritty reality and spinning something profoundly exquisite out of it. Take for example the simplistic hour she came over this morning for coffee (hint: I'm Jenna):
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Wednesday Morning Musings:
"Would you like some cereal?" Jenna asks me, "love some" I
answer honestly. It's seven thirty in the morning and I'm seated cross
legged on the red shag carpet in the middle of her living room. All the
windows are open and the gentle morning sun wafts lazily into the room.
The air is clean and crisp and a pleasure to breathe. We sit across from
one another sipping coffee quietly and enjoying the peace and quiet.
"So, what's the story?" Jenna always has the gift of cutting right to
the heart of the matter. "I wish I knew" I answer honestly. The heart of
the matter today happens to be my uncertainty. "You feel like helping
me figure out what my brain is doing?" I ask only mildly facetiously.
"Always" is her response. And of course what are friends for. I proceed
to describe my dichotomous drives, I discuss my faith and my fear, I
outline for her all of my scattered thoughts. Jenna listens to all these
things with love, breaking in only occasionally for clarification. When
I'm through Jenna asks all the really hard questions, forcing me into a
whole new realm of introspection. I can't say I actually know all the
answers, but once we're through I can say I feel a little clarity, and a
little peace of mind. I finish my bowl of cereal as the conversation
nears a close. As I'm getting ready to leave Jenna is in front of the
bathroom mirror putting on her make up, and I'm sitting on the toilet
watching. I'm so grateful for a mellow morning, starting my day out with
coffee and conversation with such a good friend. As I head to work I'm
singing along with love songs and smiling on the inside.
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She writes a lot of amazing stuff, this Kari. Sometimes about our humorously depressing 4th of July, sometimes about being sick and tired of being sick and tired, and sometimes she writes eloquent passages about living and working on 4th avenue after her mother died that make me teary no matter what. She's really that good.
So while I have no words, I'll borrow hers that are written here.
So while I have no words, I'll borrow hers that are written here.
I would suggest you do the same.
xoxoxo, me
You guys are lucky to have each other! There's nothing quite like silence between those who love each other, is there?
ReplyDeleteI hope you know that fighting bigotry is totally contributing to the world. And damn that story is deep.
ReplyDeleteProps to you both!!