"Candles, pho, Emma Stone flick, open windows, crème brule ice cream, kitties. This is how I date myself... I just might be the girl of my dreams."

That was what my friends on Facebook read, and that is why I am such a proponent of self dates. I am the girl of my dreams when it comes to taking me out (or staying in). I know what I like and I know what I don't. There isn't ever any discrepancy when it comes time to choose the movie. I always take myself to my favorite restaurant and order my favorite dessert when I'm ready. I don’t rush me, over talk, or have uncomfortable moments of silence. I would marry me if I could! Even though I'm in a long-term in-house relationship, I still look forward to my nights alone doing whatever I fancy. It's good for my soul. Your homework is to try it this week. Just once... see how it goes! And to make it easier for you, I have a few suggestions that I really enjoy:

Treat yourself to Sunday morning brunch. Go to a greasy spoon restaurant, read the NY Times, order coffee with your meal, do the crossword or read a novel and enjoy your own company! I also like going to bagel shops or eating fresh organic salads at my favorite downtown cafe.

The Literary Date. Barnes and Noble will hate me for saying this, but I love dating myself in a new bookstore. Especially one that serves lattes. Find your favorite corner, grab a pile of magazines or books and pour over them! This usually takes me hours when I get engrossed in a stack of art books or alt fashion magazines. This could be done at a used bookstore too, but sometimes I like the anonymity and smell of a "hot off the press" environment.

Wine, dine, 69.  Buy a Barry White or Al Green cd, light candles, pour a glass of your favorite kind of wine (or try a new one) and have quality time with yrself. You can even show You some good ol' lovin' if you know what I mean //wink wink//. Nobody knows your body like you, so take advantage of yourself! Heh. If you want some guidance or just a good read try this book. When it rains I also like listening to Led Zeppelin.

Take yourself shopping. Go to a store you don't normally frequent. Maybe a lingerie store or body shop. Buy You something indulgent and pretty. Don't over think it, just do it. No regrets, you are totally worth it.

Movie Night. Rent your favorite childhood movie or TV show (Tom and Jerry, Jem, or Scooby Doo anyone?) and pick up some ice cream on your way home. Get in your pajamas and curl up on the couch or in bed and just... be a kid for a minute. Let the adult stuff wait for a while.

The Makeover Date.  Go to a Sephora, Mac, or Ulta or some similar cosmetic store and get yrself a makeover. Purchase your favorite piece of makeup for follow up pampering. You might consider going out afterwards while you’re all sexy and stuff.

Thrifting and Lunch. Exactly what it sounds like. This is the one I do most often. I just love eating enchiladas, drinking horchata and patting myself on the back for finding the kick ass stuff I just acquired at Salvation Army.

Dessert night! I love finding a brand new fancy schmancy indulgent recipe, going to the market and picking up the ingredients and then coming home and trying my hand at deliciousness. Put on some music and an apron while creating your masterpiece! Dancing and wine are optional but highly recommended. And of course, eating your dessert and having it all to yourself is the best part.

Dinner and a Movie. The ol' standard. Plan it all out like you would if you were taking someone with. Choose the restaurant. Make reservations if needed. Plan it before your movie, and savor the elegance of being alone. So many people feel like they need another person to be comfortable while dining. Challenge this! Bring a book or magazine and revel in the aloneness! Stop by a convenience store and get some snacks that you love to sneak into the show. I love this one... it feels like a wild night on the town.

This whole exercise is about intention. We do nice stuff for ourselves all the time (hopefully) but there is something different about being aware while we are taking good care of us. Taking the time to show ourselves that we care enough about us to carefully plan a night of self love.

Do you have any suggestions? Which one are you going to try? Or, what date that isn't listed are you going to take yourself on? Tell me tell me tell me!

P.S. Taking pictures of yourself kissing a mirror is both awkward and awesome. But mostly awkward.

Okay, NOW tell me!


  1. I bloody love you Jes!

    Tomorrow, I am going to have the day all to myself. I plan on dolling myself up, going thrifting and enjoying my own company!


  2. Fabulous! I love dates with myself (they're always such a nice time!) and it's been a while since I've had one! I know what's on my list :)

    1. ... whats on your list?!?!!? im curious!

  3. I am totally going to do this one tomorrow...I've recently started culinary art school for baking & pastry and want to look at more books than the ones I've bought...Love this post!

    The Literary Date. Barnes and Noble will hate me for saying this, but I love dating myself in a new bookstore. Especially one that serves lattes. Find your favorite corner, grab a pile of magazines or books and pour over them! This usually takes me hours when I get engrossed in a stack of art books or alt fashion magazines. This could be done at a used bookstore too, but sometimes I like the anonymity and smell of a "hot off the press" environment.

    1. SO RAD. It would probably also be fun to make a dessert! Even though I bake all day at work, it's totally different at home... you could even call it homework;)

  4. How about having a picnic in the park and watching the clouds? That's a date I'm going to have to do 'cause I love being outside!

    But I don't know if I could do the dinner and movie by myself. I would be too nervous! I'll start with the great outdoors and work my way in.

    Great idea!! ;D

    1. baby steps cassie. baby steps are good:)

  5. I agree, Jes. I am the woman I want to marry. =) I love my alone time, but what I really want to do is try a new recipe. A fancy one. Afterwards, I'll eat it all up by myself and watch an old Gene Kelly film. I also like to take long baths and spend hours reading and/or listening to music in the tub. =)


    1. THEY ALL SOUND SO GOOD. And good god gene kelly was a looker.

  6. Love this post and proud to be actively dating myself :)

  7. Oh man, I do love me a good self-date. I was going to take myself out to see Magic Mike yesterday, but my date was crashed by a friend (not that I'm complaining - she brought wine). I think I am due for a solo date soon, though. I like to grab a sandwich or hummus plate from my favorite cafe and sit outside and people-watch.
    Or, y'know, option 3.

  8. Ones I have done:
    -gone to a ballet
    -exploring the canyons/mountain/trails with just a camera and/or notepad and pen(cil)
    -art galleries, museums

    Ultimate self date:
    -go to the ticket counter at the airport with just a backpack, passport, and wallet ready to go anywhere. Ask for the cheapest, soonest flight out of the country (make sure you can speak the language though...) and go.
    My friend did this in April and she just asked the lady for a flight anywhere out of the country, she snatched a last last minute flight to Prague, round trip, and it cost her $300 for 3 days. I can't even fly SLC to AUS for that price.

  9. I think its about time I dated myself. A week on Saturday, I'm mine!

  10. This is a super awesome post. I love it! I've been a longtime proponent of "Dating myself" but never referred to it that way. ;) Love!!

  11. I am all about the me dates...and doing other things by myself. Love this post!


Back to Top