History, Politics, Religion, and Feminism.

They are all synonymous anymore.
Well, they combined politics and religion without asking a long time ago (and even more so lately), but I'm learning more and more and more that all four are inseparable.

Disclaimer: I was raised in a culture that did not encourage truth seeking.
If you live in North America, you've grown up in a culture that doesn't encourage truth seeking but some instances are more extreme than others. I was one of those instances.

Do not confuse this with intelligence, however. There are many a geniuses out there who's brains utilize more than 20% of their energy, but never find the actual truth buried in history's presentations. I for one, have managed to finish 5 years of college with a GPA a smidgeon away from 4.0... does that mean I know many truths? Hell no. In fact, thanks to my culture, I'm just starting to learn anything.

I feel like a child who still believes that there is a fucking Easter Bunny.

And I'm hurt, because I was a sucker for so long and all of my friends knew first and I acted like a loser trying to convince them that it existed while they laughed. Did all of the kids know before me? Why didn't someone in my class tell me the truth? Are there still more kids like me that believe in the Easter Bunny? These are the questions that race through my freshly shattered brain.

Except, not about the fucking Easter Bunny. 
I like that spell check accepts fucking as a real word. Anyways.

So we've all grown up in this fact hiding world where the fake is projected and the truth is buried.
And I have come to deduce that A LOT of people still have no idea what the hell is going on.
There is a maddening lack of consciousness and I know this for a fact. Wanna know how?

Because women still hate their bodies. Because plastic surgery is still a thing. Because religious beliefs are considered moral grounds for laws and policies. Because we blame Indian Nations for not being able adapt to modern culture. Because we STILL celebrate Columbus Day. Because Women still make 77 cents to a mans dollar. Because "Conspiracy Theory" is a bad word. Because every single person considered a minority isn't beating down the door of the legislators/senators/congressmen/policy holders. I know this because here in America (and other countries too) white supremacist racist domination and imperialism is considered normal.

There is a stunning lack of ignorance round these here parts.

"My environment was painstakingly constructed by conquistadors, explorers, slave traders, imperialists, bible writers, capitalists, strikebreakers, Puritans ’n’ Christians, military heroes, politicians, Jesus hijackers, blockbuster movie producers, ad cats, CEOs, masters and slaves, hunters and prey, victors and victims, and one mustn’t forget the endless variety of civic propagandists, coincidence theorists, and yes- nancies who toe this massive, massive line of historic and contemporary oppression." -Inga Muscio

Makes you wonder a little huh?

So, I'm teaching myself with tools not handed to me. I'm leaving the very warm and cozy area of my life called naivete, opening my eyes, taking my hands off my ears and allowing myself to be scared shitless in exchange for a little liberation. I think it will be worth it. I cannot put a price on self confidence, social understanding, body love, life purpose, and empowerment.

Remember when I toldja what I was reading? Yeah, that's on hold.
I have a stack of 16 books that I've selected to be part of my crucial and decisive search for information. I've chosen them very carefully making sure to weed out the drivel and extremist opinions. Only the facts please ma'am. And your opinion is okay too, because I'm intelligent enough to tell the difference. I wanted to share this laaaaarge stack with you because maybe you'll feel like picking one up and seeing what all the hullabaloo is about. Or maybe you'll just bookmark this page and at some point later revisit it for a book recommendation. Whichevs.

I am very educated in the consciousness I am deviating from. I've literally taken credits upon credits of classes on "Cultural Imperialistic Bullshit" and passed every single one. I've even taught those classes myself; I was a Bullshit Scholar and I know what it all means. It's STILL a hard and severely uncomfortable road for me. But so far,  its also exciting, validating, educational. Worth the temporary pain for a life void of bullshit.

So yes, I'm a consipracy theorist.

And Columbus was a good guy. Johnny Apple Seed wasn't a business man, America didn't exist until we got here, Jesus is white, "whore" was never a compliment, slavery was inevitable, Benjamin Franklin was monogamous, and preventative care is a waste of money.


Tell me your thoughts, stories, and book recommendations...


  1. YES. YES YES YES. I am the queen of conspiracy theories. Well, that's not true, but I love them. I was raised by a conspiracy loving father who watched the x files with me every week. We talk about them every Sunday. We think a cabal is secretly running the country and politics is just a diversion tactic. :) Also, so well timed because I have on my to-do list today to email you about books you are reading. You are incredible. Never ever stop writing.

    1. I knew you would understand. I stay away from naming the religion because if someone hasn't been engulfed in it, then it is hard to differentiate the bitter commentary from the facts. And I do have a lot of bitter commentary. Also, I don't think our experiences are a whoooooooole lot different from other gals also indoctrinated in drastically right wing cultures. I just want to reach as many people as possible.

      But I'm glad to have you. Super glad, cause we know. We know.

  2. I have about half of these books myself. While there are some on your list that I read/tried to read but didn't like, I'll be curious to see what you think when you've finished all of them.

    Most importantly, don't ever stop asking questions. It's the only way you'll find answers.

    1. I'm interested to see what I think too:) I'm sure some will hit home and some might not even get finished... I'll be flexible!

  3. Ok chica, you need some classics in there! I used to teach women's studies at a university in Canada, and there are a couple of books I think you would enjoy:
    Intercourse by Andrea Dworkin;
    Backlash by Susan Faludi;
    The Dialectic of Sex by Shulamith Firestone;
    Resist! Essays Against a Homophobic culture edited by Oikawa, Falconer and Decter;
    and this essay by Nomy Lamm http://tehomet.net/nomy.html.

    Oh man, I can't wait to talk feminism with you. Woot revolution!

    And if you like fiction, there are awesome feminist novelist out there like Woman on the Edge of Time by Marge Piercy and the Xenogenesis trilogy by Octavia Butler.

    I hope these are helpful.


    1. Ugh. I knew that in posting this, I would be greeted by people who knew so much more than me... y'know the kids that held all the chips? I just feel like an infant in life, bumbling around and discovering something that everyone knew all along.


      If it werent for my horrifically traumatizing childhood (think the opposite of an alcoholic family) I don't know if I would be as hell bent about sharing my journey. I've gotten letters from people thanking me and so I know its reaching those who havent been allowed to think out side the box. I know theyre out there thanks to the reasons I listed above.


      I also knew that I would have a lot of great input like yours because the ladies that read my blog are fucking brilliant and critical thinkers of their own. And for that I am grateful. There is nothing more powerful than knowing that you are not alone in your discovery and that other wonderful respectable people support you. I certainly get the opposite from women I knew in my past.

      So thank you so much for recommending those books. I actually have a few of those on my shelf, but the ones in the post are taking priority. I'll never quit seeking so I know I'll get to them soon.

      Also, I'm finishing my degree in Womens Studies within the next few years. I also can't wait for conversations!!1


    2. Dude, no one holds all the knowledge, you find what you need and leave what you don't. For this particular subject, I have a passion. I was so excited to share it with someone, because all too often I hit roadblocks when trying to talk about feminism, or anti-racism with friends. I was lucky to have been able to explore all kinds of information when I started school, and I found some awesome women in my department at school. And that what is the most helpful, having people to talk about these new learnings. I am so gonna be one of those people for you. Questions? Ask 'em. Debates? let's do it.

      Besides, if you are finishing your Wmn Sts degree soon, you will come across most of those books anyways. I can't wait to hear what you have to say about Germs, Guns and Steel. that will be an EPIC discussion.


    3. Here here on the Xenegenisis saga by Octavia Butler. It seems to be forgotten on the the lists of great American classics..

    4. No doubt. I also love her "Parables" esp. Parable of the Sower. So good. We all know why she "seems" to be forgotten, right?

  4. Well written. When I started learning more and more about philosophy and liberal studies, it opened my eyes. To think that there is so much more with the human aspect as well as the nature aspect is astounding! Learning the truth is so much more satisfying than taking in some bullshit about pop culture.

    It frustrates me that so many people care about what some other "celebrities" are doing and not giving two shits about what going on in the world. So much is happening with politics, policies, the Earth and what do people tend to care about... who did what on facebook.

    Like Amy said, never stop writing because you are phenomenal. And you are a wonderful woman who should be idolized. Enjoy the reads!

    1. I dont know about being idolized... you are seriously so kind...

      But there is something amazing about ripping your heart out and letting everyone see what is also inside of them. Its so real and incredible. I like it when people do that for me.

      Yeah, when people bitch about their first world problems (flat tire, vintage clothes monopolization, out of sanitizer, kitty vomit) I cant help but think "there is so much more important things to spend your energy on. That goes for people who are haters too.

      I mention those first world problems because I have also bitched about those exact same things.

      *self slap on the face*

      I'm learning. No one is perfect. As long as you're making progression.

  5. Yes ma'am! I was going to say "Backlash," but someone beat me to it. "A Room of One's Own" is also great, as is "The Second Sex." They're both pretty obviously dated in some places, but they're classics for a reason. Hooray for seeking!

    1. OOOOOOHHH "The Second Sex"!!! I used to work at an alt bookstore and I remember seeing that! Thanks!

      Also, I actually enjoy reading dated books because at the time they were more revolutionary than we perceive them today.


  6. add
    Slut! Growing up Female with a Bad Reputation, and Female Chauvinist Pigs to your list! They are both pretty recent and really good reads.

  7. So, I just got Wolf's The Beauty Myth...Thank you for the recommendation, girl! I ordered two others, too! :) My summer will be very empowering and enlightening thanks to you! :)

    1. THAT IS SO AWESOME! I think you'll really love them:) Which other ones did you order???


Back to Top