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Wednesday, July 11, 2012

THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES: WHICH DO YOU SPEAK?


Gary Chapman is the Author of The Five Love Languages and even though you'll find it in the Christianity section, I adore it. Chapman factors down acts of love into 5 parts and maintains that while we all respond positively to most if not all, there is one that we are fluent in. The five are:

Words of Affirmation
Quality Time
Receiving Gifts
Acts of Service and
Physical Touch

It's was really interesting to figure out what my love language was (Words of Affirmation... keep the compliments coming!) and also what my Him's is (Receiving Gifts).  I couldn't figure out why he bought me one million (okay, eleven) "unnecessary" gifts for Valentines Day when I really had no use for them... Especially the giant plush heart in sneakers. Well, I couldn't understand why until I realized that he was showing love the only way he knew how. Growing up, he didn't receive a lot of attention from his parental figures, but they showed him "love" through buying him things. Once I realized this, I started purchasing small items that I knew he would like... I started speaking his language. It was so effective.

I didn't have much affirmation from my father growing up (it was actually quite the opposite...) and so now I have a craving for verbal compliments. Mostly from my Him, but also at work and from friends/family. Whenever I find myself adoring someone, I also find myself to be quick to express how much I appreciate them. That's how I communicate love.

What is your love language? If you're not sure you can take this 10 second quiz and find out.
Figuring out the love language of special people in my life really strengthened the relationship. I would recommend pondering this concept a little. Wanna share your thoughts?

7 comments:

  1. I would really love to read this book. How do you find all of these wonderful texts?!

    And I hope you know that I will always leave a comment for you ;D

    My language is "Quality Time". Too true.

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  2. i think my language is words of affirmation as well, but it's sort of difficult to tell. i like when people do things for me, too. but i do usually need positive reinforcement, which is why art school really sucks for me sometimes [because i'm a hack, or so my teacher says].

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  3. I've never read the book but I did take the quiz a while back and mine was quality time. Which rings so true for me. I've realized that when someone spends quality time with me it's really what makes me feel the most loved and cared for. :)

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  4. Physical touch is mine...but it was a really difficult quiz. Sounds like an interesting read!

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  5. Hmm this one was hard for me. I honestly couldn't pick which one was my language. In our family we give gifts a lot. If we see something at the shop we think someone might like, we grab it, and whenever anyone goes on holiday, we always bring each other gifts home, so that one spoke to me. but at the same time, saying 'I love you' to each other, and kissing hello and goodbye, hugging, all of that, is also the rule.

    I think, on balance, physical touch is the language that I like people to speak me, but giving gifts is the language that I speak to others. If that makes any sense at all.

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  6. Indeed I think I speak differently to others than I'd want them to speak to me. I'll have to ponder this a bit...

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  7. Hey there Jes of the one 's'. First time commenting/finding your wild blog - thanks to AmyM and Carly's shout outs to your awesomeness! Sooo yes, I've heard this book referred to throughout the years (tho I don't remember if I've actually READ it myself!). I've definitely morphed over the years... used to be a real 'touchy' person (hugs/back rubs to any near me!)... now I find that I am most impacted by words of affirmation. Though I still love gifts and time spent too.. hmm, can I be all of them?! Its definitely true that knowing what your partner 'speaks' can make all the difference.
    Gonna stop blabbing now or you'll rue the fact that I'm now commenting! lol
    You're great. take that!
    Mel ;o)
    www.needleandnestdesign.blogspot.com

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