CURRENT CRUSH: CALEB LUNA

Caleb Luna is a fat, brown queer, writer and burlesque dancer (!) who resides in Oakland, California which is apparently the destination for every radical unicorn on the planet. I'm definitely not that sad to be here in Tucson though (<--Lie. Oakland, you stole my heart years ago.)

Caleb is a PhD student at University of California, Berkeley, where their work explores the intersections of performance, fatness, desire, fetishism, white supremacy, and colonialism from a queer of color lens. They also have a heart shaped FAT BABE tattoo on their arm that deserves a moment of recognition as well. Can I get a dozen Hands In The Air emojis for this above list of fabulous things please? (Ask and ye shall receive: 🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌!)

Caleb writes for multiple sites including Black Girl Dangerous, The Body Is Not an Apology, and Everyday Feminism. I can almost guarantee that you've read at least one of their articles; they are often very-much-needed posts that push you farrrrrrr outside of your comfort zone and are full of complex subjects/ideas that you never knew you needed to read... which then presents you with the opportunity to process them three (or ten) times over. You don't want to miss out on them..

Count me as one of the people eternally grateful for their writing and the contributions that they offer.

Because everything Caleb writes is  more than worth reading, I'm going to share a few of my favorite excerpts with links to every brilliant and sparkling article!

Ugly is how I move through the world, how I am viewed by strangers, coworkers, potential lovers, employers, family, community members, doctors, professors, service industry workers, et cetera, and this perception affects how I am treated daily. I have been denied job opportunities because of my body. I do not fit into restaurant booths, airplane seats, or school desks comfortably—which serves as a constant reminder that this world was not built to accommodate me.

From: On Being Fat, Brown, Femme, Ugly, and Unloveable

(Photo by Michelle Ramirez)

A product of the fat acceptance movement is a bigger and more diverse group of people embracing their bodies and claiming fat identity. There are so many reasons to claim fatness and so many ways to be fat. It’s an embodiment that is contextual depending on other variations like race, gender and ability especially. I don’t think that the destigmatizing and expanding the boundaries of fatness is necessarily a bad thing, but it can become complicated for me when the vast majority of these people are on the smaller end of the spectrum of fatness.

From: Super Fat Erasure: 4 Ways Smaller Fat Bodies Crowd the Conversation

I’m a fat, fat-positive activist – and I don’t love my body. I have spent the past several years thinking and speaking quite a bit about fatness. I’ve written about it both publicly and academically, participated in conferences, and co-wrote and performed in a play about fatness. I dress intentionally and strategically to show off my body and challenge presumptions of fatness in those around me. And I’m sure that, for many people, these things leads them to believe that I do, in fact, love my body. And while I do have a tremendous amount of self-love, that love is tied more to who I am than what body I exist in. 

From: 4 Hidden Problems with All of This ‘Love Your Body’ Talk

(Photo by Beverly Bland Boydston III)

Critical television engagement remains an important aspect of my personal-political practice, and my inclinations are, of course, colored by my own positionality as a fat, queer, femme of color. This means that I still gravitate towards shows that feature people of color, fat people, queers, and femmes in my curation – and why shows like The Mindy Project and The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, for example, remain important to me.
Despite their (many, many) shortcomings, outside of Mindy Lahiri and Titus Andromedon, there are so few other places I could see a fat femme of color portrayed at all, but much less as a legitimate love interest. I value that.
So while there’s clearly some forward momentum toward showing fat people to be fully realized, three-dimensional characters, I still yearn for a character whose fatness is part of them.

From: The Sitcom Trope About Fat People That’s Way More F*cked Up Than You Might Think 

This experience really helped me see how white supremacy manifests in subtle ways in activist spaces, even by folks who identify strongly as people of color and/or as anti-racist and anti-oppressive.I now see how even cultivating activist communities and spaces that consist of primarily young, thin, cis, and non-disabled people is a product of white supremacy, even if the people are not all white.

From: Your Fat Stigma Is Racist – Here Are 6 Ways to Shift That

And my personal favorite article-

I am tired of fighting my friends. I am tired of trying to convince them that I matter as much as their romantic interests and partners. In many ways, who we choose to love is also a decision of who we invest in, and who we distribute the resources necessary to keep one another alive—including care. I am tired of trying to get people who love me to see that I am worthy of love, care, investment and attention as much as their romantic partners. I am tired of trying to make those who love me see that I am worthy of care, time and attention as much as the whiteness and thinness they invest in through their partners. I am sick of reminding them of the simple fact that who we choose to love and, by extension, invest in is political. Investing in people is also investing bodies and this does not exist outside out of historical priorities and possibilities. We can stop politicizing desire when we stop distributing our love and care based on it. When we stop using our desire as a rubric for who we are keeping alive—or at least making efforts to.

From: Romantic Love is Killing Us: Who Takes Care of Us When We Are Single?

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I'm fairly certain that the only thing better than this world having one Caleb Luna is the world having THREE Caleb Lunas.

The above wish is now officially on my birthday list. Make a note, y'all.

You can find Caleb on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, and Instagram (which I literally just spend 90 minutes oohing and aaahing over) and I suggest you follow each of their social media profiles STAT.

Thank you Caleb for gifting us your talent and presence in a world that honestly deserves neither. SENDING YOU ALL THE LOVE.

P.S. You can check out other amazing crushes here!

5 WAYS TO TEACH BODY LOVE TO CHILDREN AND TEENS IN THE REAL WORLD

(via)

40% of 4th and 5th grade girls in America right now are on a diet.

Re-read that sentence and let the reality of it sink in. It’s a fact: almost half of our 9 and 10 year olds are actively trying to change their body for no other reason than that they believe it is wrong, flawed, and inferior. And unfortunately, that early age isn’t where the problematic thinking starts. A recent study shows that already by age 6, girls start to express concern about their weight or shape. I’m pretty sure that while I absolutely grew up with low body image self-esteem, when I was 6 years old I was more concerned about hiding our unofficial Construction Paper Chewing Club (strange I know... we thought it was so rebellious!) from Ms. Cunningham than dieting.

Given the choice again, I’d absolutely take the opportunity to worry about our “defiant, statement making, paper chewing” group of 1st graders over starving my body at 6 years old. Every time.

You might already know about these statistics and how prevalent they are in our society. If you’re here, you probably have children of your own and already see worrisome behaviors around body image or are concerned about how to minimize them when they start to surface.

Often, the go-to tip for parents is to “role model, role model, role model!” Y’know the advice: you have to walk the talk and then your children will pick up the great messages along the way! And this is totally true, but also one of the hardest things to do. LOVE YOURSELF AND YOUR CHILDREN WILL LEARN TO LOVE THEMSELVES TOO! they say. But sometimes this small detail is forgotten: that mandate can feel totally impossible. I mean, over 91% of cisgender women are unhappy with their bodies (read: almost all female role models) so that scary statistic about elementary kids practicing deprivation/dieting behaviors? It’s really not surprising. We’re ALL caught up in the destructive cycle of self-hatred and adding the pressure of needing to “fake it till you make it” for the little ones can feel overwhelming.

I’m going to of course advocate for you to continue to learn to love your body, because… you’re worth it. I’ve dedicated my life to body image activism which means I have been doing research around our society and how we feel about our bodies (and why? and how do we fix it all?) for years. I do this because I believe that physical self-hatred is unnecessary and the reason we continue to obsess over it has everything to do with a larger plan to keep us pre-occupied, distracted, and unable to see/reach our true potential. So yes, please keep working on yourself! You totally deserve it. But you don’t necessarily need to add any more pressure to raising a family, and so I’d like to offer you my top five tips for how to instill body love in your children and teens in the real world… besides role modeling.

(Note: I do not have kids. Many of these suggestions come from interviewing professionals, years of body image research, my personal experiences as a chubby kid and teen and of course—- talking to other kids and teens themselves!)

1.) Normalize diversity in your home:

This is something that can be done from the get go.

It’s incredible to me how easily the human brain can be conditioned to believe that a “certain look” is the only desirable look. This can happen without a word being spoken; the simple elimination of everything except for our “beauty standard” in media is enough to instill belief that until we look like the people in movies or on magazines… we do not deserve to be seen. To counter this, we simply need to fill our line of vision (and our children’s) with as many diverse bodies as possible. Bring all sizes, shapes, ages, sexes, genders, abilities, races into your home and normalize the incredible diversity in our world. Search out posters for your walls that includes all sorts of bodies. Buy movies that include all abilities (and ClaraBelle Blue). Purchase books that talk about all genders, sizes and races (example: these 6 body positive books for kids, the Know Yourself series, THIS BOOK and some of these feminist coloring books). Give your child a world in which they belong and deserve to be seen!

2.) Make exercise be a fun thing! (Not a punishment)

When I was 11, I rose early in the morning (5:30 am) to do go participate in a step aerobics class with adults before school. Just me... and all of my friend’s mothers. No other kids showed up because 1.) What kid WANTS to be up at 5:30 at that age? and 2.) I was the “chubby” one of my friend group and therefore needed the extra help.

While I was not excited about the early class time, I was even less excited about my body size; I had always been the fat kid and felt like I needed to “fix” this problem before I could have permission to feel good about myself. While my decision was supported with rides to and from, no one “made” me do this necessarily... but they didn’t have to. I grew up thinking that my large body was inherently bad (thanks Society!) and that exercise, while punishment, was also the solution.

I’m sad to say that I still continue to have mental barriers around exercise classes as an adult and it’s all because they were used as self-punishment while young. Even though I have spent years redefining my worth and the joy that can be felt from moving my body… this initial introduction has stayed with me and continues to hinder my relationship with exercise.

So with this in mind I encourage you to help your children see moving their bodies as a wonderful, beautiful, and fun thing COMPLETELY SEPARATE from needing to “fix” anything.

Sarah Koppelkam says it so perfectly (though of course this is not gender-specific):

“Encourage your daughter to run because it makes her feel less stressed. Encourage your daughter to climb mountains because there is nowhere better to explore your spirituality than the peak of the universe. Encourage your daughter to surf, or rock climb, or mountain bike because it scares her and that's a good thing sometimes. 

Help your daughter love soccer or rowing or hockey because sports make her a better leader and a more confident woman. Explain that no matter how old you get, you'll never stop needing good teamwork. Never make her play a sport she isn't absolutely in love with.”

And of course, if there are movements that your child is unable to do, celebrate the ones that they can. There is no hierarchy when it comes to movement!

3.) Take the time to sit down and talk about photoshop:

Before writing this article, I ran the concept by my 14 year old brother. I asked him what would help teens learn to love their body. His answer? “Tell them they’re perfect just as they are” (super great bonus tip!) “and just talk to them about what’s fake and why it’s fake. Teens will get it.”

And I say: AMEN you genius boy, you.

When I lecture at universities, I KNOW that the audience is familiar with photoshop… but I still make time to talk about it and it’s insidious influence anyways. Because image manipulation is so pervasive that even when we “know” about it, we don’t often understand how much it affects us. Have this conversation with your child as early as you like, and keep having it!

I was chatting about whitewashing online a while back (whitewashing: the super problematic act of lightening skin so that it matches our eurocentric ideal) and a reader left me the greatest anecdote:

“My daughter asked me one day what ‘“whitewashing’” meant the other day. I told her and showed her examples. She just kept asking why they would do that. She is 11 and after I explained beauty ideals and how incorrect they are all she could say is ‘“That’s stupid. There is nothing wrong with those ladies and magazine people suck at life.’” before going off to play Minecraft.”

This is a conversation that I wish I had as a child and so PROPS to that parent and her daughter!

4.) Remove “Flattering” from your conversations:

I’ll never forget the first time I was allowed to shop for clothing ALL BY MYSELF. At 13, my Mom was my constant style companion and while I appreciated her input (and willingness to clothe me) I was stoked to have complete freedom to choose any piece of clothing I wanted from Sears. I left the store with a pale green cotton shirt covered in tiny flowers. And while I loved the color, the “cool factor” for me came with the scoop cut neck and puffed capped sleeves—- all made possible with elastic that sat snuggly around my upper arm.

I probably wore it everyday for a week; I was that kinda kid. But the worshiping of this “boho chic” number was cut short one day as my Mom and I walked up the sidewalk to the house and she said “Y’know Jes, you really shouldn’t wear sleeves like this because they’re unflattering... and draw attention to your arms.”

She didn’t mean to devastate me; she was simply trying to help her daughter make fashionable choices that would lead to less ridicule. And I totally get where she was coming from; I was no stranger to being made fun of at school. But my love for that shirt was ruined forever and I don’t think I owned another top with elastic in the sleeves until I learned that fashion rules are backwards and you really can wear whatever you want. I lost out on 14 years of clothing I loved because of the word “flattering.”

My suggestion: try eliminating “the word flattering” from your vocabulary. Forever. Don’t buy into the fact that bodies have to look a certain way in order to be okay. If bullying happens because of what your child wears, teach them how to talk to an adult at school and then preach and practice self-love and advocacy at home!

5.) Help your child see themselves as a whole person.

And of course, there is always the importance of not focusing on appearance at all! This may sound hypocritical coming from someone who just spent the majority of this article talking about “looks”, but hear me out:  our bodies are important and if we ignore them all together we’ll be sorely inept at existing in this world. We must learn to love and appreciate them as well as counter negative messaging! But we’re also so much more than our outsides and children especially need this message. I know this. You know this. So… how do we do this?

I’m not going to ask you to enroll your child in every extracurricular activity—- that’s not possible for some, nor is it entirely necessary. Lauren Pinto and Meagan Kimm are two teachers in California that have developed an amazing curriculum for school-aged kids that teaches self-esteem and body love. They suggest that you put value in a variety of different areas for your child and have conversations that engage their uniqueness. Lauren and Meagan encourage small things like: asking their thoughts on the mural you pass on the way home, spending time together doing community work and volunteering, having conversations about sports and teamwork, and appreciating the miraculous things our bodies can do—- like healing cuts and regenerating skin! Teaching kids the basics of anatomy at an early age can help with self-confidence. Knowing that we’re all made of the same stuff, no matter what our size, is empowering. Our bodies are more than beautiful: they’re necessary for living in this world and experiencing a wonderful life! This is something I was blessed to have growing up and looking back, I know it was my saving grace.

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Whatever you decide to implement within your home, I hope you remember that your best is good enough. You are countering teachings that have been around for decades and it’s anything but simple or easy. Try something new, make mistakes, learn from it, and try again! You’ve got this.

Do you have any other tips that you would suggest? Feel free to leave them below… I’d love to hear them!

(Know Yourself is start-up that has created a space that "explains the ABCs and 123s of one’s anatomy, physiology, and psychology in an easy to learn way" for kids and teens. They asked me to write this piece for their site and I happily agreed because god knows we don't have enough resources for kids/teens right now. If you don't know them, change that!)

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Like this blog? Then you'll probably love my book Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls. TNOWTFG "is a manifesto and call to arms for people of all sizes and ages." Learn more here.

Want to hear me speak? I'd love to visit your campus or come to your event! You can find more info here or you can just email me at themilitantbaker at gmail.com. Cheers!

A DIAGRAM TO HELP THE NEXT TIME YOU HAVE A SHITTY BRAIN DAY

There is a chance that this post can help you go from this to this.

I’m unsure if I’ve shared this with you that I spend my 40 hour weeks teaching a class (I wrote a 330 hour state funded program!) for adults that are pursuing a career in Peer Mentoring (PM). PM is the brilliant forefront of behavioral health and where a lot of the funding is being directed; yay more jobs! They have found impressive and positive recovery results from those that are coached by a trained professional that not only has the technical skills, but lived experience as well. The one time mental illness has a silver lining. In the class we cover a million topics (the history of mental health, ethics and boundaries, documentation, funding flow charts, group facilitation etc.) but my FAVORITES are the subjects surrounding personal growth.

And today, well, today we worked on problem solving our lives and it was fucking awesome.

This was all “inspired” by the fact that I felt like shit.

Some days are up, some are down, and today was definitely the latter. SO we made up a process and diagram just for those days when you feel less than great. Or maybe you feel absolutely fucking terrible. The thing to remember is that you have ALL the answers and you can find solutions all on your own; it’s just a matter of asking yourself the right questions. This process that borrows from CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) will hopefully help with your next day full of not-awesome.

Here is how it goes:

1.) Write an “I Feel” statement.  Yes, write. It’s so amazing what the commitment to paper (or whiteboard) can do for problem-solving. WRITE LIKE YOU MEAN IT. Today I felt “like shit.” Simple and straightforward. That’s it. Done!

2.) Underneath it, describe what that looks like: symptoms, adjectives, emotions; things you want to shout aloud. Today I felt tired, but not sleepy. Like I should (ugh, don’t ever should on yourself!) be happy but instead, I just felt heavy. I felt apathetic and fed up with my fucked up brain for not giving me a break and just plain cramping my style. FUCK YOU NEURONS!!!

3.) Identify the core components of your life. The big things; the items that most affect the way you feel. Many people have a list of 10+ things and that’s totally cool. Today I focused on the major areas: medication, nutrition/food, family, exercise, sleep, and work. Get it down. This is what you’re going to work through in Step 4 so make them thorough.

4.) Assess those motherfuckers. Are you utilizing them properly? Can you improve? Are they positive or negative in your life right now? Is there something that needs to be tweaked? WHAT ROLE ARE THEY PLAYING IN YOUR DAY TO DAY?  Answer these honestly.  I hadn’t taken my medication in two days (DUH YOU'RE NOT FEELING WELL factor here). I was eating “well enough” but not superdeeduper great. I could use a high dose of exercise today. I’m not sleeping. At all. And it’s because of my 86 hour work weeks; I’m fucking burnt out. So there. I’m basically needing improvement in all areas. No wonder I feel like shit.

Now, there is the potential that some of your core items are going well (others had partners, house maintenance, creative outlets, etc.) AND THAT’S AMAZING. KEEP THAT SHIT UP! And then proceed to Step 5.

5.) Solution-ize. What can you do TODAY (you’re feeling crappy today, aren’t you?) to rectify some of those core issues? Be reasonable, effective and gentle with yourself. Create your action plan, and if you can’t do them all today, put a select few in the immediate future! Having this to look forward to can ease some of the stress right now. I decided to leave the class right then and there and take my medication. This step is critical to my wellbeing and if I didn’t do it then, I’d likely forget. So check! I was already making progress. Nutrition: I need more greens. A trip to the juice bar across the street during lunch was in order. I need an endorphin boost bad; though I normally don’t attend to this specific one, I’m gonna go to a dance class tonight and fix that shit STAT. Be as detailed as you possibly can - I wrote down that it was at 7. So, I don’t sleep. And when I don’t sleep I am easily overwhelmed, angered, grumpy, and depressed. STOP NOT SLEEPING JES IT’S SMOTHERING YOUR FIRE. Okay Self. I promise to be in bed by midnight, come hell or high water. And lastly… work. Sigh. The last few days zapped my energy and glossed over my eyes. Though it was positive, I need to take a break from it all tonight. Movie night with cheap wine and a friend is my new plan. The piles of to-do’s will be there tomorrow! (Note: movement and food are loaded subjects and do NOT need to be on your "list" of they cause more mental trauma than healing. This was simply where I was at on this particular day.)

6.) Put them all in order. When we’re in any sort of crisis stage, we revert back to a toddler mentality. Meaning: we need organized instructions to make it through.  Because you were so detailed in your solution stage (riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight?) it should be a snap to organize them into an action plan starting right now! THEN, you get to execute them without hurting your brain or feeling overwhelmed or wondering what you should do next etc. I KNOW it sounds so basic it hurts, but it’s really important and you’d be surprised how often we forget to do this. SO, I took my meds right then and there. I got a spinach + kale + dandelion green juice. I’ll be present at dance class at 7, and then proceed to NOT work until midnight when I will force myself to go to bed. Sunday I have family dinner, and I’m definitely looking forward to that.  I love my mom. And Christmas decorating!

(An image from Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls that might be a little more legible than my whiteboard work:)

I’m not exaggerating when I say that after completing this diagram I felt immediately better. Something about facing issues head-on, an action plan to follow, and a reason behind my emotions really solidifies my core. I also assisted three others with this process (all drastically different outcomes!) and it had the same result. Kick-ass to say the least.

How are you feeling today? No really. I want to know.
And are you going to try this diagram sooner or later?

If so, I wanna know how it works!

Sending you all love!       

135 WAYS TO DIVERSIFY YOUR INSTAGRAM FEED

( First row: 1, 2, 3, 4  | Second: 1, 2, 3, 4  | Third: 1, 2, 3, 4  | Fourth: 1, 2, 3, 4  | Fifth:  1, 2, 3, 4 |   Sixth: 1, 2, 3, 4 )

I highly doubt that I'll ever tell you to turn off your television and burn all of your magazines in order further your body liberation journey. As someone who works online all day and loves to critique (and enjoy) pop culture, it sounds like a life worse than hell. And I’m assuming that Netflix counts as television in this conversation so, fuck that shit.

If you're really into trying this "body liberation/acceptance/love/neutrality" thing though, I do have a suggestion that can help: Diversify your media feed.

It’s REALLY simple.
Simple as in: Click a few things a few times and watch your world change. 

If we allow our media feeds to regulate themselves without actively seeking alternative, body-positive options, they are more than likely going to be filled with Taylor Swifts and Ashley Grahams for miles. Don't misunderstand, though... it’s not that their bodies are bad, it’s just that they don't represent the amazing diversity of bodies that exist in our world. 

If we want our media feeds to represent real life (and ultimately show us that our body isn’t strange, weird, or awful) we need to go out and actively find diverse images for ourselves.

I’ve had success with this on a personal level; my body image perspective changed because I intentionally widened the amount of account types that I followed. The more diverse bodies I saw- the more stretch marks I saw, the more skin shades I saw, the wider range of physical abilities I saw- the more normalized every body around me (including my own) became. My appreciation of all bodies grew, and I started to see the beauty in EVERYONE.

All from changing my media feed.

There’s science behind this as well if you’d like to read about a study where they debunked the myth that “biological attraction” is why society prefers our current beauty standard and showed that repeated changing of imagery alters the way we view body sizes etc. It's all here with a nice NPR summary here. 

We are not born fatphobic, but rapidly learn fatphobia through culture. We are also not born racist but quickly become so because it's what our society is founded on. We learn ableism, sexism, ageism, and other harmful biases. But because they are learned, it means we can also un-learn them.

Our minds are retrainable. Our brains are rewireable. All is not lost, and nothing is fucked. If we actively feed ourselves visual proof of the diversity that exists in our world, we WILL learn to appreciate all bodies for what they are: perfect.

Instagram is the only social media I'm personally spending time on nowadays but when Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls came out, I wasn’t hip to IG culture so I didn’t include a list of accounts to follow. (Though I DID compile (now) over 370 resources of books, blogs, and other sites to use. Check those out for sure.)

Now that my visual feed happens through this particular app, I wanted to share a few recommendations of accounts for you to follow because I love to see them popping up in my feed. It’s no exaggeration that I have learned just as much from these brilliant minds and their images as I have through reading posts and articles. 

Instagram is succinct. Visual. Current. Perfect for retraining your brain. Neuroplasticity is such a gift.

Without further ado, ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY FIVE accounts I love that you can easily click, follow and then watch what happens as your world view + periphery expands. 

Some are personal, some are "businesses" and some (like mine) are a mix of both. Regardless, I've gleaned something great from each of them and I have a feeling you will too. You're welcome and I love you.

❤ Abearnamedtroy ❤ Adwoaaboah ❤ Allbodiesriseyoga ❤ Alex_elle ❤ Alokvmenon ❤ Amputee_kat ❤ Angelicaisaibecerra ❤ Angrybrownfemme ❤ Annieelainey ❤ Ashlukadraws ❤ Badassara ❤ Baddiewinkle ❤ Bampowlife ❤ Bishamberdas ❤ Benourishedpdx ❤ Bethdrawsthings ❤ Biggalyoga ❤ Bitchesgottaeat ❤ Blackandbrownbodiesinmotion ❤ Blacmagic_woman ❤ Blackqueermagic ❤ Blackvoices ❤ Blkfeminist ❤ Bodyposipanda ❤ Bodypositivepug ❤ Bodypositiveteen ❤ Brownbitterbitch ❤ Browngirlsrising ❤ Carolrossettidesign ❤ Cecile.dormeau ❤ Celiarequenamartinez ❤ Chairbreaker ❤ Chingonachronicles ❤ Chingonafire ❤ Chooselifewarrior ❤ Chubstr ❤ Clarabelle_blue ❤ Curvesbecomeher ❤ Denisejolly ❤ Elliewheels ❤ Erik_cav5493 ❤ Eva.exe ❤ Fatchancecoach ❤ Fatchicanafeminist ❤ Fatgirlsdancemovement ❤ Fatgirlflow ❤ Fatwomenofcolor ❤ Feministartt ❤ Feministastic ❤ Feminist.teenager ❤ Feministwild ❤ Fiercefatpoc ❤ Fieryfeminist ❤ Frances_cannon ❤ Fuckyeaherikamoen ❤ Funkychunkyy ❤ Fyeahmelissafabello ❤ Gaelleprudencio ❤ Gildednopal ❤ Glitterandlazers ❤ Gnightirene ❤ Greenboxshop_ ❤ Guerrillafeminism ❤ Hantisedeloubli ❤ Harnaamkaur ❤ Harveyguillen ❤ Iamivyfelicia ❤ Ihartericka

❤ Im.big.so.what ❤ Intersectionalbodypos ❤ Iofthetigress ❤ Itsfeminism ❤ Jacobtobia ❤ Jadebeallphotography ❤ Janetmock ❤ Jessamynstanley ❤ Joannathangia ❤ Kliuwong ❤ Kobi_jae ❤ Lafeministadescolonial ❤ Latinarebels ❤ Laughinggoddessapothecary ❤ Lauracallaghanillustration ❤ Lavernecox ❤ Littlelizziev ❤ Louisegreen_bigfitgirl ❤ Lupitanyongo ❤ Mamacaxx ❤ Mynameisjessamyn ❤ Natalieispoetry ❤ Nayyirah.waheed ❤ Nikiaphoenix ❤ Nubian_ ❤ Oh.so.feminist ❤ Magnoliahblack ❤ Marylambertsing ❤ Melaniin.goddess ❤ Mindsetforlifeltd ❤ Monicakimgarza ❤ Moosekleenex ❤ Moshoodat ❤ Nikita_gill ❤ Nazirasacasa ❤ Pansexual.pride.love ❤ Philomenakwao ❤ Protect.trans.kids ❤ Queerfatfemme ❤ Queerxicanochisme ❤ Radfatvegan ❤ Readytostare ❤ Redressluvsu ❤ Roblympian ❤ Robynlambird ❤ Rosiereigns ❤ Rozthediva ❤ Samdylanfinch ❤ Saucyewest ❤ Shoogsart ❤ Staramrasu ❤ Stoptellingwomentosmile ❤ TBINAA ❤ Thebodypositive ❤ Theijeoma ❤ Thejeffrymarsh ❤ Thoughtscaughtinmyfro ❤ Tylerfeder ❤ Undocumedia ❤ Ushshi ❤ Wagatwe ❤ Watanabenaomi703 ❤ Weexistcollective ❤ Wewantequality ❤ Womanis.t ❤ Wizardfight ❤ Yvetteactually

P.S. Any Instagram accounts that you particularly love? Leave them below!

P.P.S. You can also find mental health hotlines, how to’s for the revolution, ways to protect yourself from online harassment, tips for being a fat ally, how to responsible while writing about transgender or suicide issues, starting points for finding a therapist, where to find online hugs and other resources here!

P.P.P.S. Oh, and while I'm thinking about magazines- Allure, Self and Vogue- if you could stop sending me publications that I never subscribed to that would be great- it's seriously creeping me out + wasting paper kthx.

BABY STEPS ARE OKAY: A REMINDER FOR WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'RE NOT MAKING ENOUGH "PROGRESS"

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A friend of mine complimented me on a huge shift that I've really been feeling/embodying this last year and while the change seemed to happen like THAT *snaps fingers really dramatically*, the TRUTH IS... that I've been actively working on living in this headspace for years.

Like, the  "Pushing-against-an-impossibly-huge-mountain-while-sweating-and-crying-so-much-you-cant-tell-the-difference-while-covered-in-dirt" kind of work. It just LOOKED like I made a mountain move a few months ago to others... because they didn't see the OhMyGodThisSucksSoHard shuffle I've been doing behind the scenes to make it budge the way it eventually did.

My therapist calls this "a slow build" and I'm (yes, slowly) learning that it's the most effective way for me to make progress. (Maybe you identify with this too?)

Fast-paced social media posts warp our expectations all the time and makes it easy to feel like we're not moving/progressing/improving/working/EXISTING "fast enough." But the truth is... almost everything worthwhile takes a kajillion tiny, NOT pretty, DEFINITELY NOT Instagram-able steps to get there.

So if you're feeling like your baby steps aren't enough... they are. Keep going. I'm cheering you on while we both are shuffling along while covered in dirt, sweating and crying a bunch. It's worth it, bb.