I WEAR WHAT I WANT: COCKTAIL DRESSES AND SHOES THAT TRIED TO KILL ME


Many of you have asked where to find plus size formal wear, and until a month ago I had no fucking idea. Imagine my joy (and surprise) when Bruce from Chubstr (best plus size fashion website for dudes ever) e-introduced me to Azazie.

My current definition of "dressing up" means throwing on a mini skirt and boots- so when faced with legit formal events I'm consistently shit outta luck. Azazie kinda changed that with their "bridesmaid dress and bridal gown" (which pretty much just translates into: evening wear) site that has optional custom sizing up to 26 and formal dresses all available in literally over 40 colors. You pick a dress, choose the exact color you like, put in your measurements (I'm always amazed when this actually works) and then perfection arrives at your doorstep in a couple weeks. Frreal guys. 

I chose this black number because 1.) I'm predictable  2.) I know what I love and 3.) if Marilyn Monroe played a villain this is totally what she would wear.  The fit was great (you know that feeling when you zip up the back and it fits like a glove? Euphoria.) and the cut was sexy as fuck.

My only mistake was pairing it with the hottest heels I could find. Sure, they're bangin', but they're also painfully unrealistic and quite honestly- dangerous. Like, I feared for my life dangerous. But if you don't believe me, that's cool, you can try them for yourself. But if you twist an ankle (or puncture the goddamn sidewalk) I'm reserving the right to say I told you so.

These definitely belong in "for photo's only" or "well that was a nice idea" file.
Scratch that. I'm filing them under "fuck this shit" instead.


So, now that I know of one quality place for fat girl formal wear, tell me what you know! Where do YOU find cocktail dresses and evening gowns? Leave the websites or companies in the comments below and I'll check them out- especially if they go above size 26.

I think I'm going to wear this snazzy little number to the MOCA Gala next month. But with different shoes. Because I'm smarter now.

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