12 BEST BREAK UP SONGS FOR THE BITTER AND SERIOUSLY PISSED OFF

I know just as much as anyone how painful music can be after you get your heart punched, thrown to the ground and then stepped on.

When the normal shit on radio stations, work P.A.'s, and Pandora channels makes you want to vomit, sob, or stab something... it's nice to have a few songs in your back pocket for a reality check. And to be honest, even though I'm in a happy place now, I STILL prefer "Fuck It" songs more than anything. I don't buy into that Disney/Rom Com shit much anymore even if there is a catchy beat involved.

I've put together a few favorites for the days where you hate everyone or you just don't want to melt underneath the sap of mainstream love songs. Here are 12 worthy of you at your angriest:



This song is fucking gold. Some people save the best for last, but not me. I've listened to this so many times it's impossible to count; if I had to guess... maybe 20,000 times? Probably underestimating, but whatever. Blare this when you're driving, and especially when you're on the highway. There's a car chase in this video for a reason. Open the windows, sing until your voice hurts, learn the middle break down, let go of trying to control everything in the world, and make sure you emphasis the line "one more fucking love song I'll be sick". Catharsis in it's finest form. And by fine, I mean that Adam Levine is fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine.



When you are so fucking ready to shed this town and bolt, listen to this song. "I've got my book, I've got my dream, I've got myself and I'll be fine".


Breakups are the best reason to embrace immaturity. Leave the emotional higher road for the squares and sing this song like you're 15 and you mean it.



This song is so good in so many situations it hurts. Learn all the words. Do all the voices. Buy a Persian cat. The whole bit. If you're gonna do it right, do it right.



I lean on Country when I feel like letting go of all adult logic. But maybe instead of bashing in windows and keying cars (no judgement, we've all been there) you can blast this motherfucking catchy tune instead. Stay out of jail. Thank Carrie for saying what needed to be said. And then move on. Or not, just don't go to jail.



"Single Ladies" will always be my favorite Beyonce song, but I love this one as well because I lived this video in my last breakup. He was picking up some of the basic stuff from the house the day after ending our relationship, and I was getting ready in the bathroom. I stepped out, asked how I looked. He said "beautiful" and I thanked him before leaving the house to meet my super hot date at the movies. "You must not know 'bout me. I can have another you in a minute." Well, it was more like 22 hours.



Break shit. Throw things. Flip them off. It all helps.



Even though this has the most cursing, I find it the funniest. I am not immune to Jon Lajoie's charms, and I doubt you are either. "Don't give a fuck about chairs, I prefer to stand. And fuck air conditioners I got a ceiling fan."



Now this is for the beyond bitter. My friend Kari and I would blare this at 5am during our "Morning Bake" and I would sing especially loud so my Ex in Macau could hear me. I lost my voice from that once. Totally worth it. Venom. Alanis' voice is made of pure venom. "And every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back I hope you feel it. Well can you feel it?"



"Jilted" is both coy and sinister while mixing retro music with modern relationship problems. I love it so hard. "I've been jilted again, he packed his bags ans left whistling a happy song. I jumped through hoops to keep that man, Oh how did I get it so wrong? I tried new positions, I learned his friends names... I made myself sit through football games." They only say good riddance, but you can tell there is a titch of revenge behind it all. Even if that revenge is living a successful and happy life.

And LORD I do not miss football games.



When you've gotten to the point where your mental capabilities don't extend beyond the "I know you are, but what am I?" stage... this is for you. "My new boy knows the way I want it. He's got more swagger than you, he's got more swagger than you do." I know you are but what am I?



And then there is the jam to end all jams. "Thanks to you I got a new thing started. Thanks to you I'm not the broken hearted. Thanks to you I'm finally thinkin' bout me. You know in the end, the day you left was just my beginning..."

What songs do you listen to when you're so upset it feels like you might implode?  I don't wanna hear about the stuff you listen to when you're happy; that shits easy to navigate on your own. I'm talking about the times when you have so much sad it rewires your brain and erases all memories about how awesome you are and you begin to wonder why you're still alive. What do you listen to in order to make it through THAT?!?! Share with us all! And then when we're suffering we can come back here for a glimpse into the true "Fuck Its".

Who's first?

No comments

Back to Top