OKAY FINE. YES, I'M A NATURAL BLONDE


You got me.

I've had more hair colors over the last 7 years than I can count. I fell in love with my black rockabilly hair, but I also fondly remember the bleach blonde, purple, brown, maroon, red, and every shade in between .. I loved them all. Actually, I hated the browns. All of the browns.  But I loved the rest. I felt like I shed a skin every time I changed my hair (haircuts included), and my head became my ultimate creative outlet.

You can imagine the terror I felt when I  pondered returning to blonde.

I've spun in circles asking myself ridiculous questions for months now. Will I blend in with everyone else? Will people think I'm dull? Will people still read my blog if I don't have awesome purple hair? Will anyone know how exceptional I really am?  Will it turn me into a boring and humdrum, commoner? Silly, I know, but I mulled them over and over and over. I was also scared of what it subconsciously meant to have my natural hair. It was representative of my sheltered, religious, conservative days and these are traits I never want to identify with again. I had to sit myself down with for a talk: "Bitch, please, you're not going to become a different person because of a pigment change." But I still wasn't convinced.



In the end, the exhausting high maintenance for years caught up with me, so I called Erin for a 5 hour purple lifting session. I will admit to having a small panic attack I caught the first glimpse of my new-but-old hair in the mirror. I hadn't seen THAT me in a long time; and most certainly not fat with tattoos... but I... liked it? I liked it! It was almost a physical merging if two Mes... The past me that I despise, and the new me that I embrace- both assembled in the here and now. It was like restoring peace between two warring people and allowing everyone to breathe easier. I'm feeling rejuvenated to say the least. Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiit also helps that the upkeep for natural color is next to nothing.

I find it odd that it was 10 times harder to choose my original blonde than to select vibrant purple. You would think it would be more of a commitment the other way around, right? But I'm diggin my decision regardless. It is just one more step on my journey of accepting myself just as I am; allowing myself the option of frills, but not demanding that I have them to be in order to be "pretty".

So, do you have a hair story? What role does you hair play in your identity, if at all? If you could have any color hair RIGHT NOW, what would it be?

29 comments

  1. I have never been the kind of girl that has kept one hairstyle or color forever -- in fact I always have a hard time relating to the person who "has had the same her their hair in 10 years." I would frankly get too bored. Plus my personality changes and I like my hairstyle to reflect that.

    Having viewed the photos above, I say with all sincerity that this color is my absolute favorite! It's light and beachy, warm and fun. When I saw the photo with you and your cats, the first thing I noticed was that gorgeous FACE, those perfect dimples ... not the purple hair. LOL now I sound like my mother! ; ) I love fun hair colors and cuts (Katy's is gorgeous, right?), but to me this seems as if it fits you just right just now. Your life, your rules! Be bold, be blonde, be big-spirited, be brave!! <3

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    1. Thanks Pami:) My boss who is a very intuitive woman told me that now you see my eyes, and they're lovely. It's a good swap!

      I love that you change your hair! Its such a fun (and renewable) hobby:)

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  2. I would love to have my hair the same colour as the purple that is bottom row, third picture in from the left. But I won't because I rarely change my hair dramatically. I put purples and reds in that are tints more than colours because my hair is a natural dark brown that I love. My hair is a massive part of my identity because I was ill when I was younger and I lost all of my hair, so it's pretty important to me!

    Also, I really like the blonde, it's such a nice shade :)

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    1. I did get lucky having light hair... I can't imagine how hard it would be if it was dark!

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  3. I love the blonde!

    I went through the same thought process when I went from being a redhead (for 6ish years) back to my natural hair color, which is also blonde. I worried about how people would perceive me but I really have felt more like "myself" since going back to my natural hair color even though I would have swore up and down that I was meant to have red hair.

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  4. I've been dyeing my hair since I was about 13 and I honestly I'm not even sure what my natural hair colour is anymore. I was blonde as a child but by the time I was going to high school it was a horrible mousy colour that I just wanted to hide. I started putting a little bit of red through it and never looked back. Now I'm in my 20s I sometimes think about going back to that original colour, but with all the bleach I've used I am a couple of years off it at least.

    It's really interesting that you feel more at home with your hair now. Being a red head gave me an identity when I wasn't sure who I was, I hope that if I ever stop dyeing completely I feel the same way.

    Oh, and your hair was never the thing that attracted me to your blog, it was your beautiful face and the personality that comes across in every single post xo

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  5. I totally know what you mean. I've been doing black hair with various colored streaks for the past few years and I always think that I wold feel so boring without it. I also have this weird thing where I imagine all of the judgmental people in my life (coworkers, extended family) saying "OH MY GOSH you FINALLY decided to take our advice and be NORMAL". But if I really wanted to, I don't think it would let that bother me too much. Your natural color is lovely :) And I personally love when awesome, creative, quirky people don't feel obligated to wear "the uniform".

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    1. 'And I personally love when awesome, creative, quirky people don't feel obligated to wear "the uniform".'

      Ugh, I couldn't have said it better myself!

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  6. I remember feeling the same way when I went from my year of blue back to my natural hair color... I was just so relieved. As much as I loved the blue, it was so much work... and by the end of a year, my hair was totally wrecked, too. It was just nice to stop having to do anything with it.

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    1. I LOVE BEING ABLE TO WASH MY HAIR EVERY DAY!

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  7. Whenever Im in need of a change, it's always my hair. I've been dyeing my naturally blonde hair on and off since the 5th grade(!!). I've pondered going blonde a time or two in the last few years, but I just can't visualize it. Maybe someday, but not now.

    I thinking you look fucking GORGEOUS with every color though!

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  8. I'm loving the blonde on you...looks amazzzzing!
    Also, awesome new blog layout miss.

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  9. OK, seeing you as a blonde fits (and also makes me think of a high school classmate of mine...you didn't go to high school in Vista, CA, did you?? If not, you have a look-alike out there).
    I think it brightens your face and calls attention to your smile, which is adorable. :)

    My natural color is who knows? It started out jet black at birth, was white blonde during my first decade, turned brown at puberty (and massively curly), and has vascilated ever since between shades of brown (from dirty blonde, to chestnut). It has some copper/red in it, naturally, which I try to bring attention to...but my hair seems to enjoy being a very light brown these days.

    If I could have ANY color right now, without people being prejudice against me for it, I'd go with blue. Or purple. But probably blue. I love having a color that draws attention, makes me feel like I'm wearing a costume, brightens a room, and is an accessory unto itself. But you're right- the maintenance is a bear.

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    1. Man! Blue and purple are a bitch! Maybe you could just... never wash your hair? That would be easy! ;)

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  10. I dyed my hair since I was 14, using all kinds of dyes, including herbal ones like henna. I went through a lot of different colour phases, blonde, brown, pink, purple, blue-black, dark brown, copper ... but because my Dad and his siblings have stunning grey hair I always said that I would stop dying my hair when I found my first grey hair - and I did.

    When I found my first grey hair in 2008 I stopped dyeing. It looked quite weird at first and my natural hair colour (dark blonde with a reddish tint) is really not exciting and I have always found it a bit dull. But after discovering how quickly the summer sun gave me natural highlights I think I will try to keep my genuine "virgin hair".

    Grey hair-wise I seem to come after my Mom though. She is over 60 and still isn't really grey yet and I don't see any progress on my head ;)

    Love, Qaroline
    http://qarolinesqonundrums.blogspot.de/

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  11. my mom made me dye my hair since i was little and a natural blond so i had no idea what my hair color really was. she also made me wear it long (down to my butt!) and it took hours to dry it and i hated it. so as a teenager i dyed it blue to my shoulders and she cut that off. then i dyed it dark brown and i grew in almost the same color. i also straightened my hair as long as i could remember, so two years ago i got my hair dresser to show me how to wear it with my natural curls and now i do that all the time. it is weird to me now thinking about how my mother forced me to do all this expensive damaging stuff to my hair since it was about 11! i'm much happier now, though i'm contemplating cutting my hair SUPER short to see how i like it. I think your blond looks good! my favorite cut you have had is the one on the bottom left!

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    1. Man, I loved that cut too! It was one of those flukes where it was soooooooo perfect and even though I had the same person cut it the same way afterwards... it was never that awesome again. Glad I caught it in a photo:)

      Go for the short hair! It'll always grow back! ;)

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  12. I also recently reverted back to my natural hair colour. I haven't had my natural colour since I was about 13, that's well over 10 years! I've been every colour under the sun, and most recently bright pink. But, I've found it almost liberating to just be natural. I'm all over just being 'me' and this is kinda like the last step in that. I've had way more compliments over my natural colour than any other colour ever. It's kind of amazing!

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  13. Gorgeous! I'm a natural blonde too, but after an accident when I was younger my scalp went into shock and my hair changed colour. Now it grows through a greenish greyish shade!! So odd. I do really adore the blonde on you, it's so so SO gorgeous!

    Alli xx

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  14. I WOULD HAVE LAVENDAR OR FIRETRUCK RED.
    I had firetruck red and it was a fantastic summer. But my hair doesn't do well with being dyed, and so I'm trying to grow it naturally and donate it eventually for wigs for cancer patients! Doing well by my HAIR AND the world!

    The blonde REALLY suits you - I feel like it really brings out your eyes - as far as i can tell in the photos !

    xo
    http://kittysnooks.blogspot.ca/

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  15. You're gorgeous! I love the blonde, it suits you. I've never died my hair but I have always dreamed of being a redhead. It just seems like such a fierce colour, and all of my childhood heroines were redheads. I also kind of want blue hair, that would be cool. As for haircuts I always try to go with something a little edgy (for me), but it is hard to find good styles for curly hair. I was really happy when I discovered I could pull off straight bangs, haha.

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  16. I agree %100. I too kept changing my hair colour - red, black, pink, brown...going back to blonde has been really hard. Because it is my natural colour, it is the least maintenance - but I do find blonde really boring! However, you look really pretty with it.

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  17. I've had brightly coloured hair for a while now, but I am sadly coming to the end of my time at university. This means bye-bye brightly coloured hair :( I'm so sad about losing a sense of my being, just being a boring colour, but it's inspiring to see your blog post on the matter!

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  18. I've had an interesting relationship with my hair as well. Having been prior military and from an asian background, dying my hair was never really an option. When I got out of the military at the still punky age of 23, I wanted to do something juicy but couldn't muster the guts. Then, the unthinkable (at least to me) happened. My 46 year old dad dropped dead of a heart attack. After settling his affairs, I realized that life is too short and I can't be afraid as something as simple as the color of my hair. How was I going to leap through any hoop to find happiness if I couldn't even change my hair? So I dyed it all. I dyed it all PINK. Doesn't seem like a big deal, right? It was. Why? Because it was 2004 and I was a government employee. Turns out, despite the threats, no one could make me change it back. So I rocked it victoriously for about a year. Who doesn't want to be an anime character, right?

    So then time, career and life took over. My creative streak trickled down a few boxed colors with much less enthusiasm. Then I decided that peach made sense. I tried to do it myself, oops. Forgot one minor detail, my eyebrows. In a panic with only a few hours left to get to work, I dyed it back to black. When it washed out, I had it professionally dyed black with a few hot pink streaks. It felt good.

    Then, this year...I decided that long hair made me feel butch, masculine, even unattractive. So I went the route of P!nk and Rihanna and just cut it off. Almost a military hair cut with the exception of the longer, punkish, side swept bangs. Still rockin a pink streak.

    Strangely enough, short hair makes me feel young, edgy, beautiful and feminine. I can't wait for it to get long enough to cut again. It's better than a new pair of heels!

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  19. Heh, I had my "quarter life crisis" involving my hair at 25. I've always had long blonde hair, and my parents, being very conservative, never let me dye it or anything in high school, so I went like a really dark red. I LOVED IT! Though, since I am not a hair person, the upkeep was too much and I eventually got it bleached back to my natural color. But, I also tried a series of short hair cuts, which look great on other people, but i HATED on me! It took about a year for my hair to finally get back to normal, and almost 2 years to grow back out. It was kind of pinkish for a long time, and the bleach had caused significant damage so my hair was like straw. UGH. I was forced to use product and learn how to use hair implements! I know most women are probably like, dude. But I was not happy. I'm a brush and go kind of gal. But, I still have dreams of a purple streak, or maybe electric blue... :)

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