IAPOMS: I BROKE UP WITH FLATTERING


Dear Flattering, I'm so over you.
Because of you, I only take certain pictures with certain poses with certain outfits. You're (pretty much) kinda boring. So, it's over. Maybe we can get together again in the future... if you're lucky.
Till then, Jes


I get so bored standing out there with the camera's self timer blinking doing my "flattering" poses. You know the ones... we all have them. For me, it's hands on my hips, knees a little in, pigeon toed feet, and slightly cocked head. This created the illusion that I am more proportional than I really am... though I am attractive, there is more to me than that angle. A LOT more, if you know what I mean... wink wink.

I always wondered how "those" bloggers would take attractive jumping pictures. I don't think I know anyone in real life who looks super awesome while defying gravity and forgetting to pose. I know that I most certainly can't. If anything, my jumping pictures are "hideous" by others standards... which is why after breaking up with Flattering I decided to take a few:


They kind of make me giggle.

So, now I know that I'm not a pretty cryer, runner, or jumper. Well, pretty by others standards. Which, if I'm going to be honest, I couldn't give a fuck less about. When I look in the mirror, I see everything about me... the face, the hair, the body, the passion, the compassion, the revolutionism, the boobs, the arms, the tattoos, the desire, the determination, the smile... I like what I see. I worked too hard to get to this place where I can like (and sometimes love) me to just let a few jumping pictures get in the way. THAT, dear readers, is the most important thing.

Are you one of those people that takes "pretty" jumping pictures? If not, are you going to be brave and do it anyways?!?!? C'monnnnnnnnnnn... you know you wanna.

34 comments

  1. love love your dress, and hair colour, and blog, and..

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  2. I LOVE your eyebrows. I really had to get that out there. Your eyebrows rock.

    On another note. I hate trying to take pictures of myself, because the only 'flattering' poses I can achieve are rather.. boring. SO I either just don't give a fuck (which happens a lot) or I don't take pictures (which happens when I'm lazy).

    Your pictures look fab. I sympathise with the jumping thing. My face always looks.. strange. I love how determined your face is. Gives me a giggle every time I scroll back up.

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    1. Haha! I didn't even notice how silly my face was... I suppose I was trying to synchronize my jumps with the camera and I was being all business while doing so. Good lord. Fun.

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  3. My jumping pictures actually make me look a little crazed I think lol! I really love that last one of you though you look so strong and somehow...free? There's an emotion in your face I can't capture. I always hate standing in flattering poses too, no breathing allowed make sure to tilt your head a certain way pout lips appropriately stick your neck out to avoid double chinning turn knees in. All that and so much more going through my head no wonder I look strained in most of my pictures. Thanks for the great post, you're always such an inspiration!

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    1. Ugh, the double chin is my worst photo enemy.

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  4. That last jumping picture is great. I can just hear a triumphant "YUSSSSS!!!!" mid-jump, haha fantastic! I actually took a couple jumping photos yesterday, but I ended up with my hair in my face in all of them. I have not mastered the art of getting the snap just as I begin to descend. Oh well, funnest practice ever.
    --Erin
    predictionspast.blogspot.ca

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    1. Hahahaahh!!! YUSSSSS!!! is EXACTLY what I was thinking. That... and "fuck, did the camera go off yet?"

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  5. Replies
    1. I love you for taking the time to say that. Period.

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  6. The trick is to make the most ridiculous face you can while jumping....because as far as I'm concerned jumping isn't supposed to be pretty, it's supposed to be FUN! You just gotta go with the moment! Also, I agree your eyebrows are awesome.

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  7. Dude, you so made me giggle with this post. Yep...."the flattering poses." You totally called it. And I'll also second, or third, that your eyebrows are AWE-SOME!

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    1. :) All I can think about is how I wish I took more time to make them even this morning... I didn't know so much attention would be paid to them;)

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  8. What a cute post, and I don't jump, ever. I can't remember when was the last time I jumped. It looks like you jump way higher than I do. I probably won't get 6 inches off the ground lol!

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    1. I really surprised myself... I think the trick is to bring your feet up as much as possible... It kinda creates the illusion that you're farther off the ground than you are:)

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  9. Nice! I always won't to stand with my fists on my hips and my feet in a wide stance. It's not quite flattering, but it's how I feel and I like to look strong. Yay for different poses!

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    1. I LOVE STRONG poses!!! I have a picture where I'm doing just that and its my all time favorite:) Love it!

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  10. Aw man, I wish I had a star that said "eep" that popped out every time I accidentally flash my crotch. Cause I do that a lot.

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  11. Damn Jes! I love those jumping pictures!!

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  12. Um, NO. I totally admire your commitment to be real. I pretty much have the same thing on my blog. But I haven't yet brought myself to do a jumping picture! I did bare my belly one time (eek). But it was the last time.

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  13. my jumping photos are terrifying. It looks like you had a blast. get it, girl.

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  14. Haha I love jumping photos just because they are so much fun! I have a tendency to shout "POW!" as I am jumping, so I always get crazy facial expressions going on!!

    My breasts always end up all over the place too! Breasts flying everywhere!

    Becky
    xx

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    1. THIS. MADE. ME. LAUGH. TWICE. Hahahaahh!!! Breasts everywhere!!! That is what my dreams are made of:)

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  15. Hahahahahaha! Now, those are my kinda pics! Them my fave poses to take! I LOVE these Jes! Fabawesomely radtastic! Tootles!

    ~SimplyyMayra ;)

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  16. haha, those jumping pictures! they are cute! i never take pictures of myself because i'm too impatient to use the self timer.

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  17. I love your face and purple eyebrows. I better practice my jumping....

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  18. I love these. The "EEP!" star made me laugh. I am definitely one of those flattering posers. Always insecure about my nose so I have to hold my head a certain way. I'm going to say eff you to flattering too!

    P.S. I will TOTALLY do a wacom portrait of you!

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  19. I just found you and I think I love you... I am so going to do a jumping photoshoot of mineself. I can't wait. I wish my knees were better so I could get up higher and higher. You look like you got some good air underneath yourself too - great jumping!

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  20. Your dress is adorable! I love jumping photos in general, however I LOVE-LOVE-LOVE and Love the fact you included the photo with the "EEP" because that is life and we should have fun with our dorkiness!

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  21. I think the jumping pictures are cute :D.

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  22. I love love love love love you. Did I say LOVE to someone I'm just sort of cyber-stalking. Yes. Yes, I did. You rock, your blog rocks and I love myself just a little more than 5 minutes ago. Brava.

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