6 PLUS SIZE TRAVEL INSPIRATIONS (BECAUSE #FATGIRLSCAN TRAVEL THE WORLD TOO)

(Image via Callie Thorpe)

In my world, traveling and happiness are synonyms. If I have a trip planned in my future? Well, then I can be certain that life is going to be okay.

For some though, traveling can be equated with horror and y'know what? I totally get it. When it comes to controversial topics online, "fat people flying" is certainly near the top of the list and it often deters fat folks from even dreaming of boarding a plane. But it doesn't have to. Really.

Traveling has the potential to be empowering, illuminating and life changing and I've found that watching other fat women go on international adventures has been beneficial in reminding me of this. While I travel quite often, it is usually nationally and work related. Mexico aside, it's been years since I visited another country even though my experiences in England and Italy were incredible. There is something about the uncertainty of how my body fits into another culture that has kept me from exploring certain parts of the world... but guys, I have decided NO LONGER! I just purchased tickets to Belize (do you know about Kayak Explore?) and that decision has a lot to do with these 6 women who prove over and over again that fat girls can go anywhere they damn well please.

I've compiled links to their blogs and social media in hopes that they inspire you as well.

Alysse Dalessandro: Ready To Stare

Reading about Alysse's recent cruise and adventures with zip lining was all the incentive I needed to write this post. As I read through her experience about navigating physical activities while traveling I found myself in awe. Her honesty about her concerns and general badassery was inspiring as hell.

I'd recommend reading:  12 Things I Learned About Travel Fashion from My First Cruise and
I Went Zip Lining as a Fat Girl.

CeCe Olicia (and friends!): Plus Size Princess

CeCe lives in NYC and writes about fashion, fitness, and travel! She also hosts blog posts by other contributors that are super helpful and sexy as hell.

I'd recommend reading: Riding a Whale in Jamaica: Shame Free Confidence and How to Pack (Plus Size) for the Caribbean.

Callie Thorpe: From the Corners of the Curve

Callie has been one of my longest traveling inspirations. This fashionista hails from London and chronicles her international travels with pictures that take my breath away. Some of the most inspiring posts come from her trips to South East Asia. Callie has reminded me time and time again that fat girls can travel anywhere. Seriously, anywhere.

I'd recommend reading: about her travels in Cambodia, Koh Lipe, Bangkok, and her wonderful article about Being Plus Size in South East Asia.

Timah: Live Travel More

Timah is a "Brooklyn belle" turned Abu Dhabi expat and writes a diverse and comprehensive travel blog called Live Travel More.

I'd recommend reading: EVERYTHING. Her travel section covers Africa, Asia, Middle East, North America and South America. Go read it all!

Anna O'Brian's Instagram: Glitter and Lasers

and Virgie Tovar's Instagram

Anna is a plus-sized yoga unicorn and her Instagram account is one of my favorites. It's fierce, colorful and unapologetic. She just returned from a work trip in India and I enjoyed following her travels while she shared "real talk" about traveling while fat.

Virgie is another Instagram favorite and will be visiting Istanbul in a few days. I plan on living vicariously through her images as she documents her trip.

I'd recommend reading checking out their Instagram profiles (linked above) and following their international adventures!

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Huffington Post shared a great article about this subject and of course if you need some fatty flying tips you can check out my blog post here. There is also an amazing Facebook group called Flying While Fat that offers resources, discussion and support for plus travelers. If you want the most current information or have specific questions, you can start there!

If YOU have any awesome travel posts on YOUR Instagram, I'd love to see them! Tag them with #FatGirlsCanTravel and I'll be sure to swing by and throw some love all over 'em. And of course, other readers will love looking you up as well!

(Update: Check out all these rad shares below and the other 170+ here!)

While traveling isn't a requirement for a fulfilling life, if it's something you adore... GO FOR IT MY FRIEND. And let these bad-ass babes inspire you along the way.

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Like this blog? Then you'll probably love my book Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls. TNOWTFG "is a manifesto and call to arms for people of all sizes and ages." Learn more here.

Want to hear me speak? I'd love to visit your campus or come to your event! You can find more info here or you can just email me at themilitantbaker at gmail.com. Cheers!

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TIPS FOR FLYING WHILE FAT

I was surprised (but only kinda) at the responses that appeared on my Facebook page and Instagram when I recently posted a picture of my lap on a plane with the caption “Not all seat belts are the same length, and today finally needed to request a seat belt extender. Here's the worst thing that happened: I was comfortable.”

What followed was a flood of comments confessing the terror that plus size people feel when they contemplate boarding a plane. They shared the shame that accompanies the side-eye, the fit of the seat, the unpredictability of the seat belt length...the list goes on and on.

And I GET IT. When horrifically cruel letters to fat people on planes go viral, and even the occasional attendant can appear to be judgemental, well, flying isn’t on the list of “Fun Things Fat People Can Do.” But there are tricks that you can utilize to make it less difficult, and, dare I say, fun. I fly A LOT for work and some flights have become enjoyable as I’ve learned more tricks to keep me comfy. (Although, my favorite flight had nothing to do with comfort and more to do with the fact that it was Christmas Eve and the pilot would give the kids updates on Santa sightings).

I’ve compiled the BEST ways that I have found to ease the discomfort (physical and emotional) of flying while fat in hopes that you feel free to travel the world just like everyone else!

Wear a body-positive shirt: I had no idea how helpful this was until my last flight to NYC. I wore a “Riots Not Diets” shirt for its relaxed fit (see the tip below too) and as I moved throughout the airport and plane I felt this strange sense of empowerment. My shirt (see my three favorites here) was inadvertently telling everyone “Look, I already know I’m fat, and I don’t really care. If you’re gonna judge me, don’t bother.” It was wild how much shame that outfit eliminated from my trip.

And on that note, dress for comfort: I’ve seen people dressed to the nines in airports, and I often wondered if I should follow suit. My decision? Fuck no. I wear yoga pants, a bralette, and a comfy top now because...who needs to feel cumbersome when you’re already dealing with stress? Not me, that’s for goddamn sure. If I do happen to be going somewhere directly off the plane, I just change at the airport when I reach my final destination.

AN ADDITIONAL NOTE: I have many friends who prefer to dress up for flying; for them, this affords a sense of security knowing that because they're "fully made-up", they'll blend in... perhaps not size wise, but in the way that we expect fat folx to overperform put-together-ness. All of this to say that leggings and a comfortable tank may be my preference but it doesn't matter if that's not your jam. Whatever makes you feel the most comfortable and safe? That's what I'd recommend above all else.

Use a seat belt extender: So many people know they can fit into the seat but have panic attacks when they think about clicking the seat belt. If you feel this way, you’re not alone. If you can’t buckle up (the length varies depending on the seat and airline), just ask for a seat belt extender. Some people just flag down the attendant and say, “I need that fat person buckle!” Or if the thought of saying that terrifies you just confidently ask for an extender. 

Fly Southwest: As of right now, Southwest Airlines has a “Customer of Size” policy. The idea behind it: You purchase two seats (to be sure they don’t overbook), and after your flight, you request a refund for the extra one. This means more worry-free room at no actual charge! I’ve heard this refund can take anywhere from a few days to a few months, but it does come.

However, if fronting the money for two seats isn’t possible for you, there is another way to make the system work for ya! For the super budget-friendly option, purchase one seat, and when you check in speak to the Southwest rep. Ask the rep if there is any extra room on the flight, and if so, request the “extra fat-girl seat.” Or call it the “Customer of Size seat” — they’ll know what you mean. If there is room on the flight, this extra seat will be free, and they’ll print out a special little boarding pass for you that says “Reserved.” When you show your special pass to the nice people at the gate, say, “Someone told me I should come up here so this can be included in pre-boarding.” That someone would be me.

They shouldn’t give you a hard time, but if they do, tell them Jes Baker says they should just do their job already thankyouverymuch. When you preboard, you’ll have your pick of seats. Sit down and place your Reserved pass next to you and don’t let anyone sit on it. This is the part that sucks. People sometimes just don’t get it. But fight ’em off, and choose your seats near the back of the plane, so fewer people are likely to try to commandeer that space. Unless it has, at the last minute, become a full flight, you do not need to concede.

Honestly, it’s a LOT of fucking work, but if you’re on a five-hour (or more) flight, and you don’t want to be scrunched into the corner and elbowed by the middle person? It might be worth it. Know your options and that it is okay to take up space.

Bring Xanax: Or take something else that will help you relax. If pills make you nervous or are unavailable to you, visit a health food store and check out their natural options. It’s totally worth it. If you’re tempted to stop flying because of nerves, find an aid to help you relax. Some people love Rescue Remedy, others like melatonin. Others use EFT tapping as a way to lower anxiety. Whatever it takes, it's worth it. 

Be the last person on the plane: Not flying Southwest? Wait until the very end of the line to board so that when you walk on, you can scout for any side-by-side empty seats. Too often we’re afraid to “break the rules,” but if everyone else has boarded and no one is sitting there, you can! Controversial, but seriously, fuck that shit. Ask the attendant if you’re feeling cautious; nine times out of 10 they’ll say “No problem!”

Pack light: This may seem a little but “Duh!” but I’ve found that when I bring less, I stress less. You don’t have to spend time figuring out where your bag should go, how to retrieve your items, if you should check them at the gate, etc. When I go on two- or three-day trips, I try to fit everything I need in a Samsonite bag. This keeps my blood pressure low.

Acknowledge the elephant: The one in the room. Or, rather, plane. Sitting down next to someone and it’s super tight? Don’t pretend like it’s not happening. Say, “Looks like we get to share a personal space bubble today!” Jennifer McLellan of Plus Size Birth has said, “Hope you like cuddling!*” Laugh about it. Say what you need to in order take the edge off.

Check out companies that are dedicated to making flying while fat pleasant: one worth checking out is Abundant Travel. They are dedicated to the cause, and might be able to help ease the difficulty of having a larger body in a plane.

It’s OK if you’re not comfortable flying. It’s your life, so if you don’t wanna...don't. BUT if you do? You can and you should! Live that life. See the world. Visit your loved ones. Make it as enjoyable as you can, and fuck the people who have a problem with your existence. Fat people aren’t the only ones who have anxiety about the small seats (a reader shared that at a size 8 she still needed a seat belt extender!) and you deserve to live a full, adventurous life.

Got any other tips for flying while fat? Let’s hear them!

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This post was first published on Ravishly with mixed reviews, which reinforces it's relevancy and importance.

I'd like to address a few concerns that some dear readers had, in hopes to clarify what I never knew had to be clarified.

• *When it comes to the "Hope you like cuddling!" part, I am not suggesting you cuddle with your seatmate. In fact, please do NOT cuddle with your seatmate, like, ever. Unless they're your partner and they're cool with it, obvs. Additionally, in the same vein of "Things I Never Thought I'd Have to Say", please don't say things of this nature (or anything at all) in a creepy voice to the person next to you. Clear? Okay, good.
• Anyone is welcome, regardless of size, to utilize these tips- not just fat people. Comfort while flying is a nice thing for everyone
• Reminder: if you're angry at people because of their body size, you should encourage (not discourage) the finding of extra seating. This gives everyone more room, you included.

Happy flying!

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Like this blog? Then you'll probably love my book Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls. TNOWTFG "is a manifesto and call to arms for people of all sizes and ages." Learn more here.

Want to hear me speak? I'd love to visit your campus or come to your event! You can find more info here or you can just email me at themilitantbaker at gmail.com. Cheers!

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I WEAR WHAT I WANT: PALM SPRINGS ROAD TRIP!

I wish I was still in Palm Springs.

YES, I love traveling for work. YES I love my bed. YES I love my cats and having everything I need in one place... but GOD DAMN IT GUYS. PALM SPRINGS WAS WONDERFUL.

The boy and I took the car for a 5 hour spin last weekend and made sure we brought lots of coffee, music, and Table Topics for the ride. We left our computers and work at home so we could laugh and talk the whole way. I blared Wilson Phillips and he forced me to like Elvis Costello. I drank too much Red Bull and we both enjoyed hot dogs in Gila Bend. We spent the mornings there on patios drinking coffee and the afternoons by the pool. We thrifted, ate the best Mexican food, watched too many episodes of Chopped and had great hotel sex.

We ditched the guide books, made up our own rules and told stress to go fuck itself. No wonder I wish I was still there.

Sigh.

Salvation Mountain was the whole reason we took the trip in the first place. I've swooned over it so many times on other's Instagram accounts that when I finally took a second to Google it and found out it was only a 4 hour drive away... I planned the trip for a week later. Of course, Slab City is NOT my kind of lodging destination, so Palm Springs was the next closest destination worth visiting.

I always love it when you build up a place in your head... and it turns out more wonderful than expected. Salvation Mountain was just that.

This swimsuit.

I promised a love letter to this suit the other day, and I will leave it here:

Dear suit,

I love your fucking guts.

Hearts and caticorns,
Me

That's all. It's that simple. 

It's suit time, and all the plus blogs are already sampling the best of the best and I'm a million years behind even though it's already 90 degrees in Tucson... but I'm going to make it up to you with this bangin' red offering. A red halter suit reminiscent of old Hollywood and comfy as fuck. Regarding sizing: I ordered an 18 even though I normally wear a 20/22 and it's tight and perfect. You can order your normal choice or size down one.. either way it's well made and fits big ol' bodies wonderfully. AND YES. THAT'S A POOL DONUT. 

And it was a bitch to blow up.

Luckily we're smart adults that know how to work hard AND party hard- so we filled some plastic cups with wine, brought our favorite reading materials (Yes Please is ALL KINDS OF HYSTERICAL) and sat out in the shade while we took turns inflating that motherfucker. Worth every breath.

Fuck. Isn't that man gorgeous?

We (at the suggestion of IG follower Sarah) took the 180 degree rotating cable tram all the way up the mountain. Awe inspiring technology. Beautiful surroundings. Lurchy ride. Y'know... all the good stuff. We hiked down the mountain and around the trails (me in my goddamn sandals) smelling the bark that has a vanilla aroma and reading the carvings on giant fallen trunks.

Favorite part of all: meeting Dinny the Dino and Mr. Rex. The Calbazon dinosaurs (seen in Peewee's Big Adventure!) were fucking hilarious, amazing, and worth the drive alone. Frreal.

But then again, I'm addicted to roadside attractions. I even once drove to northern Arizona JUST to see the wigwam motels. Didn't want to stay in them... just see them. And I'd do it again.

My boy is the perfect road trip partner (and perfect partner, lets be real) and so the trip really was idyllic. But fortunately, I didn't get to be sad to be back home for too long. 24 hours later I was on a plane to Missouri and I'm currently typing this while en route to Philadelphia! (P.S. I'm speaking and paneling at Arcadia on Sunday- find out more here)

I wanna know about your favorite road trip! ALSO TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT TO SEE IN FUTURE SWIMSUIT POSTS. Because eventually I'm gonna catch up with the rest of the world and share more options. Leave your thoughts below, bitches!

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SAN JOSE // DAY 3 + I FIXED BLOGHER, GUYS

(All photos by Virgie Tovar!)

Thanks for all your comments yesterday! I love being able to talk openly and honestly and then to get feedback from you! The good news is that I was able to have great day at the conference! I decided to stop trying to "get my money's worth" and do whatever the fuck I wanted. Which included going to breakfast, skipping out early for a nap, catching lunch and a few speakers, meeting Khloe Kardashian, meeting kick ass fans, and going swimming with Virgie. It was fucking wonderful. It's amazing what happens when you let go of "shoulds"!

Now, I wanna be clear: I love BlogHer... like the actual internet presence and community. I love that they create a giant platform for women's voices to be heard and celebrated. THIS is totally what I believe in. The conference? Just wasn't my jam.

 

I got to rock this dress (it will come back!) from eShakti with some bright ass lipstick and had a LOT of fun with it. While the dress is out or stock, I recommend that you try this blue one, this red one and THIS CONFETTI ONE!  If you're unfamiliar with them, they have adorable dresses in 0-36 that you then customize to fit your body and preferences! I didn't need to change the size (I went for an 18) but I did customize the skirt. Above the knee is MY FAVORITE. Uh, also, I just found out their having a 70% off sale... get it!

Here's what else happened today:


Virgie rocked her sexxxy fatkini today. We visited a booth with a "Magic Mirror" where you look into it, and someone one the other side talks to you. They give you genuine compliments and empowering messages as you look at your reflection. SO powerful. Khloe and I fitting together like puzzle pieces. Meeting readers and signing boobs! Kerry Washington was even more adorable in real life. And Virgie nabbed us some "fried dough" ice cream. It was delicious.

And now tonight, I'm eating a burger in bed and watching The Muppet Movie: Most Wanted. Which is exactly what I want to be doing. Tomorrow is San Francisco and I'm SO EXCITED.

How are you?

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SAN JOSE // DAY 2 + I THINK I'M DOING BLOGHER WRONG

Guys, I think I might be doing the BlogHer Conference thing wrong.

So, this is my first year ever, and I wasn't sure exactly what to expect, but what I did conjure up... was nothing like this. I went to breakfast with an open heart and mind and left in the afternoon while throwing a temper tantrum. Where did it all go wrong? Well, there are a few problematic areas:

1.) I came for high caliber education. Like, the shit you can't find all over the internet. I'm going to be expanding my work soon (YAY!) and I thought that this would be the perfect way to gather some information that isn't readily available on the web. I was especially excited for the two classes today which were about monetizing your blog in extra special ways and then also a class about crowd funding. I may be exaggerating slightly, but essentially, today I learned "Video is important!" and "Crowd funding exists!" Two things I was already well aware of. There was no "outside the box" monetizing tip and no "3 Things Every Successful Kickstarter Has," and that would have been really nice to hear.

2.) I'm an awkward middle child. I'm not just starting a blog, but I'm also not the almighty Bloggess... yet. It seems like if I were the first I would be learning everything, and if I were the latter I would be teaching everything. So where exactly are the middle children supposed to go, again? I have a lot to learn about blogging, and I'd like to learn it at a blogging conference goddamnit.

3.) I'm not actually here to "network" in the way that others are. So, I tried this social experiment the other day where I only offered information about myself when I was asked. Guys, I barely said a word. The ladies here are out to share their name and blog and story and I totally understand/get that, but I'm just not invested in this area. You've probably heard of me or seen my images at some point, and if you haven't that's okay. Now where are those high caliber classes again?!?!?!

4.) I came alone. While this isn't actually a bad thing, and I've been fortunate to meet up with some awesome friends while here, it's a little tricky navigating groups of girls who know each other really well. I actually love doing things solo (traveling, brunch, movies, etc) but being on my own at this particular conference leaves me feeling less inclined to join in on things that already take guts or energy. My point: if I was to come again, bringing a friend wouldn't be a terrible idea.

I've also found myself waffling about joining in on the nighttime festivities. "No" because I'm not terribly interested but also "Yes" because I'm worried that I'll miss THE ONE AWESOME THING that happened.

Don't misunderstand: I'm definitely not being that person that's all "Everything everyone else does is wrong!" but I'm also not going to say that it's life changing... if it's not. Y'all know me better than that. C'mon.

BUT WAIT. ALL IS NOT LOST.  Here is what I AM  doing right:

First and foremost, I rocked my tiger t-shirt dress real hard today. That was all of the right. (P.S. I found this in a vintage shop in Brooklyn, so I don't know where to get another... BUT I found this cute one that goes up to 2x if that helps...)

Then I listened to The Bloggess speak which, to put it simply... was wonderful. I adore honesty and candor more than you know. Maybe the keynotes are where its at? In the afternoon I went to a bakery with the fucking incredible Virgie and Chrystal and talked about body love type events. I also had a chance to hang with the GORGEOUS CeCe of Plus Size Princess and Chastity of Garner Style. And THEN I made weird faces in the tiny pool. It was exactly what I needed. Not pictured: I drank lots of delicious coffee and made mental notes on what to do/not to do for the Body Love Conference.

Ladies and gents, I bring my BlogHer conundrum to you with trust and respect.
I'm honestly wondering: what am I doing wrong?

Have you been to a BlogHer conference? Did you have a similar experience, or something different? What am I missing? What should I be looking for? Where do I go? Who do I see? What did you do to make it a worthwhile experience? I have another day left and I'd love to hear your advice. Shout it at me babes!

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SAN JOSE // DAY 1 + RED SHORTS

I'm smirking because I'm wearing red shorts and I'm really pleased with myself.
I'm also smirking because I can.

OH HEY I'M IN SAN JOSE, Y'ALL!

And I'm pretty thrilled about it! I'm here for the 2014 BlogHer Conference which should be a really great way for me to learn all the tips and tricks I need to build an EVIL MILITANT  BAKER EMPIRE MWAHAHAHAH. Shit guys, I'm tired and saying weird things.

I spent the day in downtown San Jose and it was simply wonderful. Breezy, and lined with bakeries, cathedrals, and art museums. Just the way I like my downtowns!Of course, I thought very carefully about what I wanted to wear the first day here (big life decisions, people) and I went for broke with my favorite outfit in my suitcase. Which, strangely enough, wasn't a dress but rather a SHORTS ensemble.

I think the people in my life can count on one hand how many times they've seen me in shorts... I just love dresses and skirts! BUT, these are special shorts. Special because they're JEGGINGS.

I'm a tardy newcomer to the Jegging church, but now I'm one of the strongest believers they've got! Marcy from SWAK sent me these red Jeggings (ps, they have them in up to 5x) and I headed straight to the tailor and said "make me sexy shorts please." Best choice I've made in a LONG time. They feel like... well, heaven. Soft. Stretchy. Sexy.  They don't cut in or constrict. They fit my belly and don't ride up... I totally believe in Jegging shorts (Jorts, maybe?) And while I'm totally aware that Jegging actually does sells shorts, they don't have red and the length I love... I'd totally recommend giving a tailor $10 to make something fit you perfectly.And, girls, that shirt was also on purpose. It's something I fell in love with off of ModCloth's site and then promptly fell in love with again when I put it on because it's smoooooooooooth. Soft. Stretchy. Sexy. You catching a theme here? I was killin' it in comfort today, babes. And I looked good. Like, really good. So good that I felt like yelling "Hey everyone! Come see how good I look!" and then pretending that I made up that quote.Inside the San Jose Art Museum there was a David Levinthal show that I adored. He photographed toys in incredible ways and caused a lot of controversy and conversation. In the corner of the exhibit was a table with colored pencils and pieces of paper with a note that encouraged you to draw YOUR favorite childhood toy. I got such a kick out of looking at other's drawings! I really wanted to participate, so I racked my brain for a toy that stood out in my memories.

Do you remember Cupcake Dolls?!?!? 

It was a toy that when folded, it looked like a cupcake, but when you "peeled" down the wrapper, it magically turned into a doll with a fabulous hat. I remember mine smelling like grape; a scent that still makes me so happy I get giddy.

These shoes are fucking Jeffrey Campbells and I love them. That's all I gotta say about that. Magic on my feet.

And I can't forget to tell you: last night something magical happened! I had a chance to speak at Curvy Girl, which is the only plus size lingerie around and has really created an amazing community of body lovin' ladies. The women there were SUCH a joy to meet and chat with, and I was especially happy to see two of my favorite fatvocates there: Marilyn Wann and Virgie Tovar. Both of which have written books that have changed the way I view the world. If you haven't read them, you should. Fat?So! and Hot and Heavy, respectively.

So honored to be able to speak about what I love most. So happy to be away from the Arizona heat. And so fucking tickled by my awesome red shorts.

It doesn't take a lot to make me happy.

P.S. Have you tried Jeggings? How behind the times am I?
P.P.S. Whats YOUR favorite childhood toy?!?!?

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