tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055363314023822240.post8049491908075329998..comments2023-05-10T02:26:32.149-07:00Comments on The Militant Baker: THINGS NO ONE WILL TELL FAT GIRLS...SO I WILLJes The Militant Bakerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14842115723190733209noreply@blogger.comBlogger1133125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055363314023822240.post-74927441374711396802013-07-10T10:07:34.028-07:002013-07-10T10:07:34.028-07:00You have made me weep. I can't tell you how lo...You have made me weep. I can't tell you how long I have lived with self loathing. And have mocked and loathed "chubby chasers" I flat out refused to sit on my boyfriend's face, because I was afraid that I would kill him or some thing. I have allowed myself to be regulated to the sidelines when there was a bad ass chick waiting to come out. I have HATED myself for years, just because I was "disgusting". I'm not sure what do with my feelings. And I know that I don't want to be obese for ever, but I am so happy that I stumbled across this. Aprilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18078990731967038368noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055363314023822240.post-55358826910621755362013-07-10T07:55:50.800-07:002013-07-10T07:55:50.800-07:00If I could add one thing, it would be about hobbie...If I could add one thing, it would be about hobbies. Just last night I was meeting my husband's new coworkers, and one of them (like me) is a beautiful full-figured woman...who belly dances! I've always been interested in belly dancing, (and burlesque), but never thought I'd have the looks to, you know, look all right while I did it.<br /><br />This young woman brushed those fears aside and completely debunked my fears of personal inadequacy and showed me videos of her class and former performance troupe. Ladies of all shapes and sizes were on stage, and looked amazing. Those who were a bit bigger were just as skilled as those who were model thin, and no one looked out of place.<br /><br />So, now she and I are arranging a night where I can come to a class with her to see what it's all about - and I'm totally excited. Hobbies, even dance, are for everyone to enjoy, and we shouldn't be ashamed of ourselves when we're trying to have fun.<br /><br />*On a separate note, I'd like to agree with your sentiments regarding clothing. I used to be a wedding consultant at David's Bridal, and I learned very quickly that there's no such thing as a gown that only looks good on certain body types. Here's why: a woman's personality makes the gown beautiful - the gown is just an accessory to a woman's natural beauty. <br /><br />I've seen size 2 women absolutely glow in an empire waisted gown many think are designed with bigger girls in mind, and I've seen size 26 (yes, size 26, you read that correctly) women absolutely knock 'em dead in a figure-hugging mermaid style. If you feel beautiful in something, then your natural glow and confidence make you even more beautiful. Don't let anyone tell you just by looking at you what you can and can't wear, YOU need to figure out what you feel comfortable in. If that's something that hides your figure, that's just fine, you may just be modest by nature, and there's nothing wrong with that. But if you feel perfectly at home in a bikini or skin-tight clothes, then rock it - because you most certainly can!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17993441736328531245noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055363314023822240.post-76037865471076564762013-07-09T15:21:21.117-07:002013-07-09T15:21:21.117-07:00I love this post a lot. The one piece of advice to...I love this post a lot. The one piece of advice to people of all sizes I would like to add, because it's frequently tied to weight and to a messed-up understanding of what's "conventionally attractive": stop being mad at your body for changing with age! Aging is beautiful! The alternative is to be dead!Christyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16730070627037691105noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055363314023822240.post-50618163884353600882013-07-08T14:33:48.788-07:002013-07-08T14:33:48.788-07:00Oh geeze to whomever suggested looking at myself i...Oh geeze to whomever suggested looking at myself in the mirror. I avoid mirrors like the plague. I don't need to see any of myself yuckMooch's Shortyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13003722830043802936noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055363314023822240.post-62760642418685071732013-07-08T13:38:09.574-07:002013-07-08T13:38:09.574-07:00This is amazing...ah-mazing. And I am with you 100...This is amazing...ah-mazing. And I am with you 100%! I am not skinny, I never was, and I probably never will be...but I am healthy and happy with myself and my body. I don't know if confidence is something you're born with or if it's something that can be learned, but I am lucky enough to have it. It makes me so sad when girls, of all sizes, rip apart their bodies and only see the "flaws". Everyone has a unique beauty and when you own it, nothing and no one can take that away.<br /><br />If I could add one thing, I would say this: Stand in front of the mirror, even better in your underwear or naked, and look yourself in the eyes. See yourself, accept yourself, and love yourself. It feels great!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02231710439720920668noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055363314023822240.post-32740287990624554372013-07-07T21:23:25.826-07:002013-07-07T21:23:25.826-07:00you should start a dating site. :) you should start a dating site. :) kamciclehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00734875295438228961noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055363314023822240.post-49153351268975910442013-07-07T16:54:58.321-07:002013-07-07T16:54:58.321-07:00While it's true that not being overweight woul...While it's true that not being overweight would make a person more healthy, being thin doesn't necessarily equal health. I am SICK to death of people saying things such as "Oh that person's so fat, they should really lose some weight and be healthy". They assume that overweight must mean unhealthy and thin must mean healthy. WRONG! In fact, there are loads of skinny people who are just as fat as some fat people, only it doesn't show on the outside. Instead, they have dangerous amounts of fat being stored around all their internal organs. They are just as unhealthy, but because it doesn't show, it's not a big deal to anyone, themselves included. I am a proponent for being healthy no matter what you weigh. I have changed my eating habits lately and have lost some weight. While it hasn't been a huge amount, I know that I am becoming healthier anyway. I sleep better, I no longer have frequent heartburn and I have more energy. Still not thin, but a whole lot healthier. Johttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14556109620223889070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055363314023822240.post-644197822672308002013-07-07T15:55:54.670-07:002013-07-07T15:55:54.670-07:00I want to commend you Jes... on your upfront, in-y...I want to commend you Jes... on your upfront, in-your-face style of making a point. I gave birth to four children, the last of which was 3 weeks early and over 10#. At one point in my life I weighed 200+# on a 5'3" frame. Though I could not find my way past "the art of camoflauge" at the time, to what I call now "my own perfect style" - I loved myself through every pound I put on.. and I only lost it finally because I became so ill with gastroparesis that I lost 85# in four months.. Once the weight was down, I realized that there is just no way to exercise and tighten skin. I embraced the batwings, and the loose skin all over my body... but those tummy rolls!!! DAMN them... AND "The Flap". I am currently in love with myself more than I've ever been (long story full of people pleasing and other silly "I don't deserve" mistakes brought me here) but have really been struggling with the tummy issues. I recently expressed to a friend how much I would love to opt in at our local clothing optional river spot - and it's not about the bewbs or the southern exposure, but the stomach... and its not about what THEY see, it's about what I see - and I'm having trouble loving what I see between my bewbs and my hoohah!! Thanks for this - I don't remember who reposted on FB.. but I thank them too. To be aware that strikingly skinny model types have rolls, may have been the key to my full body affair with myself!!!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13306490324562688490noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055363314023822240.post-5083225103662749272013-07-07T15:47:30.238-07:002013-07-07T15:47:30.238-07:00I realize that your experience is your experience,...I realize that your experience is your experience, and is totally valid. But take it from me, my father was always "carrying a keg" and he landed one gorgeous younger woman with giant "tatas" when I was a teenager... and she loved him with all of her heart, not despite his size - but was attracted to him as he was. His loving nickname became "Teddy" because he was her bear... and she liked it that way. Certainly, most of what has been said in this article could be perceived without gender specification, no?Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13306490324562688490noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055363314023822240.post-81056096990011907462013-07-06T11:52:33.027-07:002013-07-06T11:52:33.027-07:00I LOVE YOU!!!! Your writing is aspiring and you ha...I LOVE YOU!!!! Your writing is aspiring and you have an amazing character! Please keep making people happy and self-confident the world needs more people like you (in all aspects!)!!!!<br />PS: Loving the hair colour!!!!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09215597114744835214noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055363314023822240.post-47934777114403255502013-07-06T05:24:06.147-07:002013-07-06T05:24:06.147-07:00I totally needed this article at this very moment....I totally needed this article at this very moment. I just broke up with my boyfriend who told me I was fat and not good enough! The article made me realize that accepting myself as I am is an amazing thing. I can't wait to meet someone who accepts me for me just as I accept myself!!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11505650157003320028noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055363314023822240.post-36058797665963885252013-07-05T14:18:09.573-07:002013-07-05T14:18:09.573-07:00Great blog after two kids I have become very self ...Great blog after two kids I have become very self conscious of my body I am only 26 and everyone says I am fine my shape is ok but I did not believe in that. Thanks your blog gave me a different perspective of my body. :) Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09456250885465238391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055363314023822240.post-76939185560707902632013-07-04T15:35:58.235-07:002013-07-04T15:35:58.235-07:00THANK YOU. So much.THANK YOU. So much.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12823723245013163588noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055363314023822240.post-67557361115995101832013-07-04T09:38:52.904-07:002013-07-04T09:38:52.904-07:00My boyfriend is 115 pounds to my 185. I mean, he i...My boyfriend is 115 pounds to my 185. I mean, he is stick thin. And yet he tells me almost everyday how beautiful I am and that he wouldn't want anyone else in the entire world. I'm happy that this article can help me realize that he's right and I am beautiful. Thank you for writing it. :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02111945318816249127noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055363314023822240.post-34681506944570309702013-07-03T18:35:11.035-07:002013-07-03T18:35:11.035-07:00Curvy women fits into this category too. You see a...Curvy women fits into this category too. You see a lot of athletic types in magazines (not many curves, small booties etc). I'm 5'3" and I've been 120lbs (when I was a teen) to 200 lbs. I've *ALWAYS* been curvy. Big hips and some major junk in the trunk. When I was younger I was frustrated that nothing fit right and I couldn't wear the cute clothes everyone else was wearing. <br /><br />Then I got older and discovered tailoring. I buy the clothes I like and want, then tailor them to fit me not the other way around. <br /><br />Pumacathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11233450618035232507noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055363314023822240.post-31725367460438689452013-07-03T14:08:07.011-07:002013-07-03T14:08:07.011-07:00I just loved this. I'm a chubby girl since my ...I just loved this. I'm a chubby girl since my little princess packed on my extra pounds 5 years ago, but its taken the past 4 years to really be ok with my body. I'm dating an amazing man who calls me beautiful and isn't put off by my chubby rolls and fat thighs. Being comfortable in my own skin again has made me happy-maybe even happier than back in my 'Barbie girl' days. Thank you for these amazing words and for reminding the 'fat chicks' that real love isn't about the size of your belly, but the size of your heart, soul and all the things you cant see with the naked eye. Goddess Mommyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16423079170538634762noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055363314023822240.post-69253263947176946012013-07-02T21:43:37.129-07:002013-07-02T21:43:37.129-07:00Hello, to the Anonymous man who posted before me. ...Hello, to the Anonymous man who posted before me. <br /><br />This concept of plus size women not being attracted to overweight men is something I have struggled with as well. I am a tall, Black, plus-sized woman ( 5'8.5/ size 18/20) and have twice bumped into an overweight man who I am strongly attracted to, after telling myself I would never date/ sleep with a significantly overweight man again. Nothing may come of that attraction because I am leaving this location, but I realize a part of loving myself as a plus sized diva and consistently working towards healthy habits and healthy body image is being open to accept men of all shapes and sizes and not only the "conventionally hot."<br /><br />That said, I believe women who are overweight want tall, physically fit, traditionally attractive partners because all our lives, we have been told that we cannot have access to them. It is important for us to have standards, but those standards shouldn't exclude us from men who look just like us. Attraction is a funny, multi-layered thing, but let's not be hypocritical. I feel your struggle and wish you the best.mizcaramelmuse1https://www.blogger.com/profile/00904680637265273611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055363314023822240.post-90894429310735975072013-07-02T15:28:13.045-07:002013-07-02T15:28:13.045-07:00YOU.ARE.AWESOME..... After gaining the latter part...YOU.ARE.AWESOME..... After gaining the latter part of 50 lbs in a, lets say, less than uplifting for my self esteem, relationship, this has made me feel a million times better about my body... I'm not saying this body,or the boyfriend, will stay... Because, it probably wont, but if the boyfriend goes, and the body stays, this article made me feel alot better about it... I wish I could feel this way everyday!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09418470933139747523noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055363314023822240.post-34146417159755000912013-07-02T14:19:52.564-07:002013-07-02T14:19:52.564-07:00Well, the only thing I can say is thank you for yo...Well, the only thing I can say is thank you for your honesty and your words. Really empowering.CongratulationsAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06594957552752973338noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055363314023822240.post-84234169991031502732013-07-02T01:37:36.232-07:002013-07-02T01:37:36.232-07:00Jes, I stumbled onto your blog and love it. I am s...Jes, I stumbled onto your blog and love it. I am so happy that you wrote it. I was well into my 30's before I decided I was allowed to be a person and was beautiful. It set me free! I am now on the darkside of 40 hitting menopause and really needed that reminder. Thank you so much.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055363314023822240.post-84737054014377067782013-07-01T08:59:10.318-07:002013-07-01T08:59:10.318-07:00I cannot thank you enough for this article. I hav...I cannot thank you enough for this article. I have been living in Asia for the past 4 years and it has done a number on my self esteem. When I lived in the US as a plus-sized woman, I had no trouble meeting men. I never doubted my beauty, while still being fat. I felt beautiful. Living here, as you watch all the men date teeny tiny Taiwanese girls and look past you though you are invisible is disheartening. What's even worse is being told on a daily basis that your body is bad; strangers literally come up to you out of nowhere and say, "Wow, you're so fat!" Hearing how wrong your body is every day starts to sink in.<br /><br />As my friends all settle down and get married, I sometimes come home and cry and cry and cry. Maybe there is something wrong with me. Will I ever find someone who will love me as I am? My face is beautiful. My breasts are beautiful. I have an hourglass shape. I do yoga and have hobbies and passions. I'm a singer, I speak several languages. I'm a wonderful person! <br /><br />Yet.... sometimes all I see is everything that everyone else thinks is wrong with me. Sometimes I feel like people can't see the real me past my physical body. And it's heart breaking. My co-workers will sit around me talking about, "Hmmmmm, which single girl-friend can we set our friend John up with?" And then they list off names of every single girl we know.... except me. And it just stings.<br /><br />Thank you so much for writing this. I found it empowering and really helped lift my spirits as I continue living my glorious life abroad. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!joliejuliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12392260920064097839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055363314023822240.post-23455753995807871362013-07-01T08:53:17.898-07:002013-07-01T08:53:17.898-07:00I cannot thank you enough for this article. I'...I cannot thank you enough for this article. I've been living in Taiwan for the past 4 years, and dating here has been so difficult. Most of the guys here go for the teeny tiny Asian girls. And then you constantly have people coming right up to you and saying, "Wow, you're so fat!" When I lived in the US, I had no problem dating. I found men who loved my body. Here, it's been much, much harder. And even though I've always known I am plus sized, I never felt bad about myself until living here. Being told over and over day after day that you are ugly, that there is something wrong with you.... it just starts to sink in.<br /><br />I cry myself to sleep sometimes because sometimes it feels like people can't see who I really am inside of this body. I am always told how pretty my face is; why can't the rest of me be beautiful, too? I think my breasts are amazing. My waist is small, I still have an hourglass figure (just a bigger hourglass!) As I watch all my friends settle down and get married, it scares me.<br /><br />I do yoga 3 times a week and go to the gym 3 times a week. Yoga especially because it helps me mentally. But sometimes I want to stay fat just because I want to be loved for who I am. Not for who I'll be a year from now.<br /><br />Anyway, my point is: this was extremely empowering. It helped lift my spirits so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you for writing this.<br /><br />FAT is NOT a dirty word! <3joliejuliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12392260920064097839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055363314023822240.post-76180451028678363602013-07-01T08:53:00.057-07:002013-07-01T08:53:00.057-07:00I cannot thank you enough for this article. I'...I cannot thank you enough for this article. I've been living in Taiwan for the past 4 years, and dating here has been so difficult. Most of the guys here go for the teeny tiny Asian girls. And then you constantly have people coming right up to you and saying, "Wow, you're so fat!" When I lived in the US, I had no problem dating. I found men who loved my body. Here, it's been much, much harder. And even though I've always known I am plus sized, I never felt bad about myself until living here. Being told over and over day after day that you are ugly, that there is something wrong with you.... it just starts to sink in.<br /><br />I cry myself to sleep sometimes because sometimes it feels like people can't see who I really am inside of this body. I am always told how pretty my face is; why can't the rest of me be beautiful, too? I think my breasts are amazing. My waist is small, I still have an hourglass figure (just a bigger hourglass!) As I watch all my friends settle down and get married, it scares me.<br /><br />I do yoga 3 times a week and go to the gym 3 times a week. Yoga especially because it helps me mentally. But sometimes I want to stay fat just because I want to be loved for who I am. Not for who I'll be a year from now.<br /><br />Anyway, my point is: this was extremely empowering. It helped lift my spirits so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you for writing this.<br /><br />FAT is NOT a dirty word! <3joliejuliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12392260920064097839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055363314023822240.post-70189038783888740362013-06-29T02:10:08.443-07:002013-06-29T02:10:08.443-07:00i just had that insecure moment, but after reading...i just had that insecure moment, but after reading this, it brings back a lot of my confidence. you're just so awesome and thank you for making me love my body again :')adilahabdazizhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04023570589759948154noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4055363314023822240.post-91172606988038957622013-06-28T19:51:26.532-07:002013-06-28T19:51:26.532-07:00I would add to this that, when faced with the dres...I would add to this that, when faced with the dressing room blues...it's usually not you, it's the clothes. ESPECIALLY when shopping in "plus size" sections. A lot of the plus size clothes I come across are either ridiculous looking (re: hooker) and cheaply made OR they cater to one plus size body type (what I affectionately call the olive-on-toothpicks). And the reason you have to remember this is because no matter your size or shape, no one is the same but unfortunately, to mass produce a product, clothes have to be made the same. I'm forever stuck with blouses that gape in the bust just to fit my fat arms. Oh well! IT'S NOT ME. It's the industry expecting me to have huge breasts because my shirt is from a plus size line.<br />So next time you're trying on clothes...remember it's the garment you're holding that sucks, NOT YOU.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06954057630539391030noreply@blogger.com